bridesmaids' hairstyle

lovegood90 · November 2014

PrettyGirlLost said:

lacqueredlover said:

I'll just say I would HATE to have a loose bun because it would fall out during dancing. I also hate having all of my hair pulled back because then in pictures you just look like all "face" with nothing to balance out your head.

I agree, not everypone has the facial structure to pull that look off. A good stylist would never do this though. They would make sure the updo was balanced based on the facial features of the client, and would make sure there was something in the fringe area or in the volume of the sides/top of the updo that flattered the face.

OP, just let your BM's style their hair however they want.

I got married last month and had 10BMS and I let them pick their own dresses, hair styles, and accessories. . . and every single one looked amazing. That was one of my favorite aspects of the wedding day, everyone's looks. It was a fun surprise each time a new BM showed up at the bridal suite.

See, to me something like this, with everyone completely different, sounds so much more fun! Matching is boring!

abbyj700 · November 2014

PrettyGirlLost said:

lacqueredlover said:

I'll just say I would HATE to have a loose bun because it would fall out during dancing. I also hate having all of my hair pulled back because then in pictures you just look like all "face" with nothing to balance out your head.

I agree, not everypone has the facial structure to pull that look off. A good stylist would never do this though. They would make sure the updo was balanced based on the facial features of the client, and would make sure there was something in the fringe area or in the volume of the sides/top of the updo that flattered the face.

OP, just let your BM's style their hair however they want.

I got married last month and had 10BMS and I let them pick their own dresses, hair styles, and accessories. . . and every single one looked amazing. That was one of my favorite aspects of the wedding day, everyone's looks. It was a fun surprise each time a new BM showed up at the bridal suite.

I just got married and had 4. Each girl got to wear their own version of a little black dress, red shoes and whatever hair, make-up and jewelry they wanted. They all looked stunning and DIFFERENT. I loved it. Even my sister - who's little black dress was to wear a tux with no jacket and fohawk her hair.

Bubblegum5586 · November 2014

MobKaz said:

bubblegum1309 said:

I don't think it's a big deal to request a certain up-do if you are footing the bill, I mean there are always exceptions and what happened to Maggie was not cool. And if something wont work then just let it go.

But as an example: I was in a wedding with 8 BMs and one had very short hair. The bride was paying for all of us to have the same (beautiful) up-do so I was excited. The hairdresser that did our hair was VERY talented and was able to work with the BM with short hair and her-up do looked just like the rest of ours! Very impressive!

As far as OP's question of the 1 girl. I don't get why someone would make a big deal out of a low loose bun (that she wasn't paying for right?) but at the end of the day you want your girls comfortable and you may need to let her do her hair how she wants. Is there maybe a compromise you can come up with?

On the flip side, I have yet to hear any argument as to why cloned hair styles are necessary or important.

Well in this case it was because the bride was paying for it. Half of it was gifted by her friend who was a hairdresser and then charged her the other half. Because there was 8 girls that needed to get their hair done by 1 person, it was easier for the stylist to know the 1 hairstyle and bang them out as fast as she could.

I am agreeing with others that that bride should just let the girls do what they want whether they are paying or not. But I am also saying as a friend unless it was something really bad that I looked terrible in... then I would just do it. I have never had the issue with a hair style I was forced upon, but I have had to wear BM dresses and shoes that I didn't like.

MobKaz · November 2014

bubblegum1309 said:

MobKaz said:

bubblegum1309 said:

I don't think it's a big deal to request a certain up-do if you are footing the bill, I mean there are always exceptions and what happened to Maggie was not cool. And if something wont work then just let it go.

But as an example: I was in a wedding with 8 BMs and one had very short hair. The bride was paying for all of us to have the same (beautiful) up-do so I was excited. The hairdresser that did our hair was VERY talented and was able to work with the BM with short hair and her-up do looked just like the rest of ours! Very impressive!

As far as OP's question of the 1 girl. I don't get why someone would make a big deal out of a low loose bun (that she wasn't paying for right?) but at the end of the day you want your girls comfortable and you may need to let her do her hair how she wants. Is there maybe a compromise you can come up with?

On the flip side, I have yet to hear any argument as to why cloned hair styles are necessary or important.

Well in this case it was because the bride was paying for it. Half of it was gifted by her friend who was a hairdresser and then charged her the other half. Because there was 8 girls that needed to get their hair done by 1 person, it was easier for the stylist to know the 1 hairstyle and bang them out as fast as she could.

I am agreeing with others that that bride should just let the girls do what they want whether they are paying or not. But I am also saying as a friend unless it was something really bad that I looked terrible in... then I would just do it. I have never had the issue with a hair style I was forced upon, but I have had to wear BM dresses and shoes that I didn't like.

As a friend, I would never dictate a hairstyle in the first place.

Blue_Bird · November 2014

I never wear my hair up because of my migraines. Even a loose bun would be an issue. I also don't get the Stepford Wife look for bridesmaids. I would never want my friend to be uncomfortable or do something that felt unnatural for her.

MyNameIsNot · November 2014

Dictating bridesmaids' hair is crazy pants, even if you are paying for it.

The bride foots the bill if she's requiring pro hair. That doesn't give her license to use her friends as barbies.

OP, you need to apologize to all your BMs, and let them do whatever they want to their hair.

badbnagdway · November 2014

Attempts at uniform hair do not always turn out well. In one wedding, the stylist was supposed to create this side braid thing. My hair was only just past my shoulders and is very thick and hard to style. I ended up looking like Olive Oil from Popeye with this tight bun thingy sticking off the side of my head. It was really not good looking. I certainly didn't say anything to the bride, or the hair stylist because I assumed she was carrying out the style the the bride selected as best she could, but I did take my hair down once the reception was well under way.

thisismynickname2 · November 2014

I also think it's another story when the bridesmaids ask for a preference. My three asked me, but all I said was that I had little hairclips for them and however they made it fit with their hair was fine by me. (They had mismatched dresses so that clip was the one matching accessory to tie them together.)

As it turned out, every one of us did an updo that was low and to the side (though mine, as bride, was more elaborate). They chose to do that. Had they not, it wouldn't have made a difference in the slightest.

Once, I was a BM and I didn't know until after the wedding that the bride preferred us all in half-ups. I did a full-up, because my hair is thin and looks bad in a half-up. The bride never said a thing to me at the salon, no one cared. One of the other bitchy BMs told me about the preference after the fact. Ugh.

dcbride86 · November 2014

Maggie0829 said:

GILANDLU said:

what to do?! I want my girls to wear their hair in an updo (low loose bun) and I will have my hair down. all girls are on board except 1 and she is my best friend (not the MOH though). i don't want her to feel uncomfortable... what should i do? majority rules?

Why do you feel the need to dictate how others wear their hair? And if you are dictating it then I hope you are footing the bill.

Why not let your BMs decide how they will wear their own hair just like you get to decide how you will wear your hair on your wedding day.

I hate this kind of micromanaging horse shit.

I don't think paying gives someone the right to tell another how to do their hair.

I'm actually paying for my BM's to get their hair done, provided they come to my bridal suite by X time (because I'm only paying the hairdresser for a certain number of hours and we need to be done with hair to do pictures, anyway), but I wouldn't dream of telling them how to wear their hair. I know I feel uncomfortable sometimes in an up-do. I have a rounder face and I think it makes me look fat. Even if nobody else would think so, I would FEEL fat, and that would totally mess with my confidence. Everyone should just have their hair done however they want, as long as it can be done before we need to do pictures.

amelisha · November 2014

dcbride86 said:

Maggie0829 said:

GILANDLU said:

what to do?! I want my girls to wear their hair in an updo (low loose bun) and I will have my hair down. all girls are on board except 1 and she is my best friend (not the MOH though). i don't want her to feel uncomfortable... what should i do? majority rules?

Why do you feel the need to dictate how others wear their hair? And if you are dictating it then I hope you are footing the bill.

Why not let your BMs decide how they will wear their own hair just like you get to decide how you will wear your hair on your wedding day.

I hate this kind of micromanaging horse shit.

I don't think paying gives someone the right to tell another how to do their hair.
I'm actually paying for my BM's to get their hair done, provided they come to my bridal suite by X time (because I'm only paying the hairdresser for a certain number of hours and we need to be done with hair to do pictures, anyway), but I wouldn't dream of telling them how to wear their hair. I know I feel uncomfortable sometimes in an up-do. I have a rounder face and I think it makes me look fat. Even if nobody else would think so, I would FEEL fat, and that would totally mess with my confidence. Everyone should just have their hair done however they want, as long as it can be done before we need to do pictures.

I'm totally with you there - like, I will do whatever the bride wants and not be upset with her, but I'm going to feel hideous all day if it's in a style I hate. And so as a bride I would never want to do that to one of my friends because I want them to feel good.

agenevieve22016 · November 2014

I mean if there's any type of suggestions of way to wear the BMS hair I would just keep it as simple as it can't look like yours being the bride as simple as that there's plenty of ways to have the hair down and not look like you. They are paying for it you shouldn't be totally dictating anything about it.

plainjane0415 · November 2014

agenevieve22016 said:

I mean if there's any type of suggestions of way to wear the BMS hair I would just keep it as simple as it can't look like yours being the bride as simple as that there's plenty of ways to have the hair down and not look like you. They are paying for it you shouldn't be totally dictating anything about it.

To the bolded, why? Why can't a BM have her hair styled like the bride's? The chances of anyone caring or noticing are slim to nil.

redoryx · November 2014

agenevieve22016 said:

I mean if there's any type of suggestions of way to wear the BMS hair I would just keep it as simple as it can't look like yours being the bride as simple as that there's plenty of ways to have the hair down and not look like you. They are paying for it you shouldn't be totally dictating anything about it.

Why does this matter? Honestly. Is the bride worried people aren't going to know she's, y'know, the bride? As if the white dress isn't enough somehow? If she has any guests who don't know which woman is getting married they probably shouldn't be there to begin with.

levioosa · November 2014

redoryx said:

agenevieve22016 said:

I mean if there's any type of suggestions of way to wear the BMS hair I would just keep it as simple as it can't look like yours being the bride as simple as that there's plenty of ways to have the hair down and not look like you. They are paying for it you shouldn't be totally dictating anything about it.

Why does this matter? Honestly. Is the bride worried people aren't going to know she's, y'know, the bride? As if the white dress isn't enough somehow? If she has any guests who don't know which woman is getting married they probably shouldn't be there to begin with.

All of this.

1. It doesn't matter in the slightest.

2. Everyone freaking knows who the bride is.

3. Everyone's hair is different. My BFF's hair is insanely curly. There is no way our hair will ever look remotely similar, even if we do the exact same hair style.

dcbride86 · November 2014

plainjane0415 said:

agenevieve22016 said:

I mean if there's any type of suggestions of way to wear the BMS hair I would just keep it as simple as it can't look like yours being the bride as simple as that there's plenty of ways to have the hair down and not look like you. They are paying for it you shouldn't be totally dictating anything about it.

To the bolded, why? Why can't a BM have her hair styled like the bride's? The chances of anyone caring or noticing are slim to nil.

Obviously a BM's hair can't be the styled the bride's! What if the groom confuses the BM for the bride because of the hairstyle and accidentally marries the wrong girl?!?!?!?!

agenevieve22016 · November 2014

I didn't say anything here about confusion of any sort but the point of this post was the bride wanted all of the girls hair up because she's obviously wearing hers down so I was suggesting to just not have it the same. Some brides don't want the BMs having the hair similar to theirs who cares it's their day it's a simple request. I personally couldn't careless because no ones hair will ever completely look the same anyway. I'm a hairstylist and have dealt with many dictator brides and having every single girl have the same style. So yes I get what she's saying.

dcbride86 said:

plainjane0415 said:

agenevieve22016 said:

I mean if there's any type of suggestions of way to wear the BMS hair I would just keep it as simple as it can't look like yours being the bride as simple as that there's plenty of ways to have the hair down and not look like you. They are paying for it you shouldn't be totally dictating anything about it.

To the bolded, why? Why can't a BM have her hair styled like the bride's? The chances of anyone caring or noticing are slim to nil.

Obviously a BM's hair can't be the styled the bride's! What if the groom confuses the BM for the bride because of the hairstyle and accidentally marries the wrong girl?!?!?!?!

levioosa said:

redoryx said:

agenevieve22016 said:

I mean if there's any type of suggestions of way to wear the BMS hair I would just keep it as simple as it can't look like yours being the bride as simple as that there's plenty of ways to have the hair down and not look like you. They are paying for it you shouldn't be totally dictating anything about it.

Why does this matter? Honestly. Is the bride worried people aren't going to know she's, y'know, the bride? As if the white dress isn't enough somehow? If she has any guests who don't know which woman is getting married they probably shouldn't be there to begin with.

All of this.

1. It doesn't matter in the slightest.

2. Everyone freaking knows who the bride is.

3. Everyone's hair is different. My BFF's hair is insanely curly. There is no way our hair will ever look remotely similar, even if we do the exact same hair style.

redoryx said:

agenevieve22016 said:

I mean if there's any type of suggestions of way to wear the BMS hair I would just keep it as simple as it can't look like yours being the bride as simple as that there's plenty of ways to have the hair down and not look like you. They are paying for it you shouldn't be totally dictating anything about it.

Why does this matter? Honestly. Is the bride worried people aren't going to know she's, y'know, the bride? As if the white dress isn't enough somehow? If she has any guests who don't know which woman is getting married they probably shouldn't be there to begin with.

plainjane0415 said:

agenevieve22016 said:

I mean if there's any type of suggestions of way to wear the BMS hair I would just keep it as simple as it can't look like yours being the bride as simple as that there's plenty of ways to have the hair down and not look like you. They are paying for it you shouldn't be totally dictating anything about it.

To the bolded, why? Why can't a BM have her hair styled like the bride's? The chances of anyone caring or noticing are slim to nil.

plainjane0415 · November 2014

agenevieve22016 said:

I didn't say anything here about confusion of any sort but the point of this post was the bride wanted all of the girls hair up because she's obviously wearing hers down so I was suggesting to just not have it the same. Some brides don't want the BMs having the hair similar to theirs who cares it's their day it's a simple request. I personally couldn't careless because no ones hair will ever completely look the same anyway. I'm a hairstylist and have dealt with many dictator brides and having every single girl have the same style. So yes I get what she's saying.

dcbride86 said:

plainjane0415 said:

agenevieve22016 said:

I mean if there's any type of suggestions of way to wear the BMS hair I would just keep it as simple as it can't look like yours being the bride as simple as that there's plenty of ways to have the hair down and not look like you. They are paying for it you shouldn't be totally dictating anything about it.

To the bolded, why? Why can't a BM have her hair styled like the bride's? The chances of anyone caring or noticing are slim to nil.

Obviously a BM's hair can't be the styled the bride's! What if the groom confuses the BM for the bride because of the hairstyle and accidentally marries the wrong girl?!?!?!?!

levioosa said:

redoryx said:

agenevieve22016 said:

I mean if there's any type of suggestions of way to wear the BMS hair I would just keep it as simple as it can't look like yours being the bride as simple as that there's plenty of ways to have the hair down and not look like you. They are paying for it you shouldn't be totally dictating anything about it.

Why does this matter? Honestly. Is the bride worried people aren't going to know she's, y'know, the bride? As if the white dress isn't enough somehow? If she has any guests who don't know which woman is getting married they probably shouldn't be there to begin with.

All of this.

1. It doesn't matter in the slightest.

2. Everyone freaking knows who the bride is.

3. Everyone's hair is different. My BFF's hair is insanely curly. There is no way our hair will ever look remotely similar, even if we do the exact same hair style.

redoryx said:

agenevieve22016 said:

I mean if there's any type of suggestions of way to wear the BMS hair I would just keep it as simple as it can't look like yours being the bride as simple as that there's plenty of ways to have the hair down and not look like you. They are paying for it you shouldn't be totally dictating anything about it.

Why does this matter? Honestly. Is the bride worried people aren't going to know she's, y'know, the bride? As if the white dress isn't enough somehow? If she has any guests who don't know which woman is getting married they probably shouldn't be there to begin with.

plainjane0415 said:

agenevieve22016 said:

I mean if there's any type of suggestions of way to wear the BMS hair I would just keep it as simple as it can't look like yours being the bride as simple as that there's plenty of ways to have the hair down and not look like you. They are paying for it you shouldn't be totally dictating anything about it.

To the bolded, why? Why can't a BM have her hair styled like the bride's? The chances of anyone caring or noticing are slim to nil.

Actually it's more than a simple request, it's basically the bride saying, "I don't like the way you look in everyday life, I'm going to need you to have your hair fixed a certain way to support my vision. I don't care if it won't look good on you or not, after all it is my special day and everyone HAS to do what I say".

Bubblegum5586 · December 2014

plainjane0415 said:

agenevieve22016 said:

I didn't say anything here about confusion of any sort but the point of this post was the bride wanted all of the girls hair up because she's obviously wearing hers down so I was suggesting to just not have it the same. Some brides don't want the BMs having the hair similar to theirs who cares it's their day it's a simple request. I personally couldn't careless because no ones hair will ever completely look the same anyway. I'm a hairstylist and have dealt with many dictator brides and having every single girl have the same style. So yes I get what she's saying.

dcbride86 said:

plainjane0415 said:

agenevieve22016 said:

I mean if there's any type of suggestions of way to wear the BMS hair I would just keep it as simple as it can't look like yours being the bride as simple as that there's plenty of ways to have the hair down and not look like you. They are paying for it you shouldn't be totally dictating anything about it.

To the bolded, why? Why can't a BM have her hair styled like the bride's? The chances of anyone caring or noticing are slim to nil.

Obviously a BM's hair can't be the styled the bride's! What if the groom confuses the BM for the bride because of the hairstyle and accidentally marries the wrong girl?!?!?!?!

levioosa said:

redoryx said:

agenevieve22016 said:

I mean if there's any type of suggestions of way to wear the BMS hair I would just keep it as simple as it can't look like yours being the bride as simple as that there's plenty of ways to have the hair down and not look like you. They are paying for it you shouldn't be totally dictating anything about it.

Why does this matter? Honestly. Is the bride worried people aren't going to know she's, y'know, the bride? As if the white dress isn't enough somehow? If she has any guests who don't know which woman is getting married they probably shouldn't be there to begin with.

All of this.

1. It doesn't matter in the slightest.

2. Everyone freaking knows who the bride is.

3. Everyone's hair is different. My BFF's hair is insanely curly. There is no way our hair will ever look remotely similar, even if we do the exact same hair style.

redoryx said:

agenevieve22016 said:

I mean if there's any type of suggestions of way to wear the BMS hair I would just keep it as simple as it can't look like yours being the bride as simple as that there's plenty of ways to have the hair down and not look like you. They are paying for it you shouldn't be totally dictating anything about it.

Why does this matter? Honestly. Is the bride worried people aren't going to know she's, y'know, the bride? As if the white dress isn't enough somehow? If she has any guests who don't know which woman is getting married they probably shouldn't be there to begin with.

plainjane0415 said:

agenevieve22016 said:

I mean if there's any type of suggestions of way to wear the BMS hair I would just keep it as simple as it can't look like yours being the bride as simple as that there's plenty of ways to have the hair down and not look like you. They are paying for it you shouldn't be totally dictating anything about it.

To the bolded, why? Why can't a BM have her hair styled like the bride's? The chances of anyone caring or noticing are slim to nil.

Actually it's more than a simple request, it's basically the bride saying, "I don't like the way you look in everyday life, I'm going to need you to have your hair fixed a certain way to support my vision. I don't care if it won't look good on you or not, after all it is my special day and everyone HAS to do what I say".

This all makes me think about my SIL's wedding when I was doing my hair with the bride and her 2 MOH's. I had curled my hair and was trying to figure out how I want to finish it (as the dress had a pretty neckline I wanted to show off). The hairdresser was waiting sitting there and offered to play with it. And she started putting it in a side bun thing.... and one of the MOHs freaked out that the wedding party was doing their hair like that so I couldn't. I had to do something different. I wasn't even in the GD WP and they were dicating my hair!!!

lunardaydreaming · December 2014

My FSIL is super cool, her hair stylist said that she would not do a waterfall braid on anyone else because that's what she as the bride was having. So FSIL sent us all an email and said "I told her I don't care but she won't do it, so if you want a waterfall they're easy to do check out a YouTube tutorial and just put it in after yourself" ha ha. I personally don't understand the "it cannot be remotely like the brides", no one's looking at the BMs hairstyles and comparing them to the brides when the bride and groom are standing there beaming ha

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