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Registering and Gifts

Science in favor of using a honeymoon registry

I've seen a lot of threads on these boards bashing the idea of doing a honeymoon registry. There's a common concept that a wedding gift should be something timeless that the couple will have for the rest of their lives, and will make them think of the wedding and their guests for years to come. I agree with this ideal. However, a considerable amount of psychological research shows us that experiences (and the anticipation before and memories following these experiences) bring us more happiness than material things. Therefore, I think it follows logically that a honeymoon registry would have more long-term impact for the couple than a traditional registry for household items.

For anyone who's interested in more details, this is worth a read: http://www.theatlantic.com/business/archive/2014/10/buy-experiences/381132/

I'm not trying to start any arguments - everyone's preferences are different. I just think it's interesting food for thought.
kipper88PetKatSold2011

Re: Science in favor of using a honeymoon registry

  • True, unless the couple would not be able to afford a honeymoon without the fund. Then the money does, in fact, buy the experience...
    ReginaLambert13PetKatSold2011
  • chibiyuichibiyui The Boring Part of MD member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers

    True, unless the couple would not be able to afford a honeymoon without the fund. Then the money does, in fact, buy the experience...

    A couple could also not register and most guests will give cash.
    image



    Anniversary
    fwtx5815Maggie0829wrigleyvilletheartistformerlyknownas
  • beetherybeethery So sayeth the fuckin' Pope. member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    That food for thought is some shit I don't want my brain to eat. It's rude and terrible.
    --

    I'm the fuck out.

    image
    esstee33climbingwifetheartistformerlyknownaslnixon8
  • photokittyphotokitty where I want to be mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    True, unless the couple would not be able to afford a honeymoon without the fund. Then the money does, in fact, buy the experience...
    If that's the case, then don't register and your guests will get the subtle and polite hint that you prefer cash rather than being rude by outright telling them and costing them service fees that cash or a check in a card would not.

    Or don't go on a honeymoon until you can afford to pay for it.
    :kiss: ~xoxo~ :kiss:

    beethery
  • misshart00misshart00 Oklahoma member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    Agree with Pp. There is nothing wrong with someone giving a gift for he couple to use on their honeymoon or a couple using cash they received for their honeymoon. It's when you're asking for cash that's the problem. Our hotel room for our honeymoon was a wedding present. It was wonderful. And we didn't even ask.
    chibiyui
  • I've seen a lot of threads on these boards bashing the idea of doing a honeymoon registry. << There's a common concept that a wedding gift should be something timeless that the couple will have for the rest of their lives, and will make them think of the wedding and their guests for years to come.>> I agree with this ideal. However, a considerable amount of psychological research shows us that experiences (and the anticipation before and memories following these experiences) bring us more happiness than material things. Therefore, I think it follows logically that a honeymoon registry would have more long-term impact for the couple than a traditional registry for household items.

    For anyone who's interested in more details, this is worth a read: http://www.theatlantic.com/business/archive/2014/10/buy-experiences/381132/

    I'm not trying to start any arguments - everyone's preferences are different. I just think it's interesting food for thought.

    Im on mobile so I can't bold - see << >>.

    To the << >>, actually no. People on this forum do not say guests should only give things off the registry or some heirloom piece. A guest can give whatever they want. What people DO say is that B&Gs shouldn't ASK for money. Everyone knows money is a good gift.

    And your conclusion from (uncited) research that experiences > things so " therefore" honeymoon registries are awesome is about the least scientific jump I have ever heard. Your science teacher would not be proud right now.
    *********************************************************************************

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    esstee33Knottie48804623huskypuppy14
  • I would like to know just why you, OP, thought this post would do anything but start an argument.
    image
    esstee33climbingwife
  • thisismynickname2thisismynickname2 City By The Lake member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    We had a small registry of household stuff and about 90% of our gifts were cold hard cash.
    We'd already booked and paid for plane tickets and a hotel to Europe, and budgeted food and fun money. (In other words, we had plenty of money for our dream honeymoon, even being as frugal as we are.) 

    The cash we received allowed us to say, "Oh, great, we can splurge on that luxury transport from the airport rather than taking the train and not feel guilty," and "God, Switzerland is more expensive than we thought. Good thing we got all that cash."

    A honeyfund is pointless, and risks robbing your loved ones of a percentage of the cash they'd give you anyway. 

    If you try to rely on your guests to buy your honeymoon, you're going to end up disappointed. 
    ________________________________


    whovianstark
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    A honeymoon is a vacation.  Only those going on the vacation are required to pay for it.  Now if someone generously offers to pay for some or part of the couples vacation then cool.  But for the couple to create a registry asking for cash to help pay for their HM, then they are rude.

    Knottie48804623
  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot Atlanta member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited November 2014
    I don't get where you assume that people's problem with honeymoon registries is that people here think wedding gifts should be some timeless objects. That's not true at all. Most of the people here think cash is just fine, and even have polite ways to avoid physical gifts. So your article actually doesn't apply. 

    People here have issues with honeymoon registries because registering for money is rude and deceitful registries are wrong. 

    Edited: grammar
  • ViczaesarViczaesar Central Coast, CA member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    I've seen a lot of threads on these boards bashing the idea of doing a honeymoon registry. There's a common concept that a wedding gift should be something timeless that the couple will have for the rest of their lives, and will make them think of the wedding and their guests for years to come. I agree with this ideal. However, a considerable amount of psychological research shows us that experiences (and the anticipation before and memories following these experiences) bring us more happiness than material things. Therefore, I think it follows logically that a honeymoon registry would have more long-term impact for the couple than a traditional registry for household items.

    For anyone who's interested in more details, this is worth a read: http://www.theatlantic.com/business/archive/2014/10/buy-experiences/381132/

    I'm not trying to start any arguments - everyone's preferences are different. I just think it's interesting food for thought.
    A swing and a miss.  This has nothing to do with why honeymoon registries are rude and inappropriate.



  • LondonLisaLondonLisa London, UK member
    2500 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    PS- OP, that isn't science, that is economics. If you are going to be smug and self-righteous, at least have the audacity of being correct. 
    Maggie0829
  • dcbride86dcbride86 Washington, DC member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments Second Anniversary First Answer
    PS- OP, that isn't science, that is economics. If you are going to be smug and self-righteous, at least have the audacity of being correct. 
    Thank you!  I was expecting some post about how evolution favors honeymoon registries or something - which certainly would have been fascinating and surprising.
    LondonLisa
  • JennyColadaJennyColada Awesometown, CA member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer

    True, unless the couple would not be able to afford a honeymoon without the fund. Then the money does, in fact, buy the experience...

    You know whats been shown to cause strife in relationships and emotional unrest?

    Debt. Not being able to budget to pay your bills. Having to ask for money from loved ones.

    Point. Game. Match.
    [Deleted User]
  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    I don't understand why anyone would think a honeymoon registry would be the only way a couple could possibly receive money to put toward a honeymoon. It's like the people who think it's either dry wedding or cash bar or cash bar or full open bar with no other alternatives.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • wrigleyvillewrigleyville Chicago member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2014
    You know what? Honeyfunds didn't exist until just a few years ago, but people have been giving money to brides and grooms for centuries.

    IT'S NOT HARD. I don't know why people think they have to ask for money. Plus, the Honeyfunds take a cut, so you're getting less money than you would if you didn't use a Honeyfund, which makes it doubly stupid.

    If I know the couple is going to, say, Disney World, and I want to buy them an "experience", I'll either give them money or call the park to set up a pair of day passes as a gift. 

    esstee33
  • edited June 2015

    I'm out.
    chibiyui
  • I was in a wedding over the summer where the couple had one of those Disney World honeymoon registries for their family Disney honeymoon in November. I know she got a few "items" at her shower.

    Tomorrow is December 1. They did not go on their Disney World honeymoon in November. I doubt they ever will. They got the check from the Disney registry site and likely paid bills with it.

    They did not get a honeymoon donation from me. I got them a gift card to the store they were registered at because I knew they weren't actually going to Disney World.
    wrigleyville
  • I've seen a lot of threads on these boards bashing the idea of doing a honeymoon registry. There's a common concept that a wedding gift should be something timeless that the couple will have for the rest of their lives, and will make them think of the wedding and their guests for years to come. I agree with this ideal. However, a considerable amount of psychological research shows us that experiences (and the anticipation before and memories following these experiences) bring us more happiness than material things. Therefore, I think it follows logically that a honeymoon registry would have more long-term impact for the couple than a traditional registry for household items.

    For anyone who's interested in more details, this is worth a read: http://www.theatlantic.com/business/archive/2014/10/buy-experiences/381132/

    I'm not trying to start any arguments - everyone's preferences are different. I just think it's interesting food for thought.
    That's not a common concept at all, therefore your entire argument is moot.

    image
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    [Deleted User]
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