November 2012 Weddings

Guestlist Overgrowing

Ugh I'm working on addressing the envelopes for our Save the Dates and just realized our guest list is at 101...for a 75 people wedding. What are the chances only 75 people will come?
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Re: Guestlist Overgrowing

  • kfraskfras member
    First Comment
    You definitely have to prepare for the worst. You can never assume that 26 of those people will not attend. I would send save the dates to only 75 of the guests for now, or just the ones you know DEFINTIELY need to be invited.

    Of course, not all invited will be able to attend, but you can never assume they won't. Or you will be screwed in the end. Send STDs to the 75 for now, you may get some people who tell you off the bat they can't attend. It's weird, and I didn't think that someone would "RSVP" before receiving an actual invitation, but we just sent our STDs out and had two people say they won't be able to make it. They are FI's extended family who called his mother and said they wouldn't be able to get off from work and to save money on sending them an invitation altogether. I thought it was a little ridiculous, but hey, if this happens to you than you have less people to worry about on your guest list.

    Just curious, is it a 75 max guestlist due to budget or how many people the facility can hold?

    Consider taking "and guest" off of some people's invitations. They might be upset with you, but if you can explain to them that there is only a limited number of space available then they might understand. Would you rather have people you care about attend or your cousin's girlfriend whom you only met a couple times? Think about who you can B list and if it is a facility maximum call them and ask if there is any way they can accomodate e more than 75.
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  • lls31lls31 member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited April 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_november-2012-weddings_guestlist-overgrowing?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:46c2f53c-680c-4532-aa96-4cca92890b59Discussion:a9d7fadf-0bb9-4f66-ab2b-81d76f3945fbPost:14d4e8cd-0d39-428a-bdfa-fde22a0fdfdc">Re: Guestlist Overgrowing</a>:
    [QUOTE]You definitely have to prepare for the worst. You can never assume that 26 of those people will not attend. I would send save the dates to only 75 of the guests for now, or just the ones you know DEFINTIELY need to be invited. Of course, not all invited will be able to attend, but you can never assume they won't. Or you will be screwed in the end. Send STDs to the 75 for now, you may get some people who tell you off the bat they can't attend. It's weird, and I didn't think that someone would "RSVP" before receiving an actual invitation, but we just sent our STDs out and had two people say they won't be able to make it. They are FI's extended family who called his mother and said they wouldn't be able to get off from work and to save money on sending them an invitation altogether. I thought it was a little ridiculous, but hey, if this happens to you than you have less people to worry about on your guest list. Just curious, is it a 75 max guestlist due to budget or how many people the facility can hold? <strong>Consider taking "and guest" off of some people's invitations. </strong>They might be upset with you, but if you can explain to them that there is only a limited number of space available then they might understand. Would you rather have people you care about attend or your cousin's girlfriend whom you only met a couple times? Think about who you can B list and if it is a facility maximum call them and ask if there is any way they can accomodate e more than 75.
    Posted by kfras[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>
    </div><div>This is fine if the person is truly single.  However, if the person is in a relationship, their SO should be included on the invite.</div><div>
    </div><div>ETA: Here's a helpful link on etiquette: <a href="http://www.elegala.com/go/ideas_advice/for/wedding-etiquette-solutions-to-the-top-etiquette-dilemmas/" rel="nofollow">http://www.elegala.com/go/ideas_advice/for/wedding-etiquette-solutions-to-the-top-etiquette-dilemmas/</a></div><div>

    </div>
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_november-2012-weddings_guestlist-overgrowing?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:46c2f53c-680c-4532-aa96-4cca92890b59Discussion:a9d7fadf-0bb9-4f66-ab2b-81d76f3945fbPost:14d4e8cd-0d39-428a-bdfa-fde22a0fdfdc">Re: Guestlist Overgrowing</a>:
    [QUOTE]You definitely have to prepare for the worst. You can never assume that 26 of those people will not attend. I would send save the dates to only 75 of the guests for now, or just the ones you know DEFINTIELY need to be invited. Of course, not all invited will be able to attend, but you can never assume they won't. Or you will be screwed in the end. Send STDs to the 75 for now, you may get some people who tell you off the bat they can't attend. It's weird, and I didn't think that someone would "RSVP" before receiving an actual invitation, but we just sent our STDs out and had two people say they won't be able to make it. They are FI's extended family who called his mother and said they wouldn't be able to get off from work and to save money on sending them an invitation altogether. I thought it was a little ridiculous, but hey, if this happens to you than you have less people to worry about on your guest list. Just curious, is it a 75 max guestlist due to budget or how many people the facility can hold? Consider taking "and guest" off of some people's invitations. They might be upset with you, but if you can explain to them that there is only a limited number of space available then they might understand. Would you rather have people you care about attend or your cousin's girlfriend whom you only met a couple times? Think about who you can B list and if it is a facility maximum call them and ask if there is any way they can accomodate e more than 75.
    Posted by kfras[/QUOTE]

    The 75 is due to budget and actually what we have prepaid our caterer for, the capacity for the venue is well over 100 so we would be fine there...I had a similar situation as you as far as people already saying they can't come. FI mom called grandma from out of state where all of their family still lives to get addresses for me to send STD's and she told her that she will not be able to come herself as much as she would love to because she's on an oxygen tank but also that all the aunts and uncles will not be coming...because pretty much they haven't seen FI since he was a kid and aren't going to spend the money to travel. FMIL also spoke with some of these aunts and uncles and it sounds to be accurate, so pretty much this accounts for 12 people. I definitely want to still send all of them invitations anyways, since I'd hate to offend someone, but I guess the STD's wouldn't be necessary for all these people but I did want to send them since they have our engagement pictures on them so people can at least know what I look like since I've never met them haha.

    With me half counting on those people not coming and then assuming certain family members of my own (85 year old aunt out of state, cousin in alaska with 2 babies, etc) it puts us around 80 estimated guests. FI told me to calm down and if we have 100 people come then we'll pay for the extra 15 people. I then reminded him that that is ~$1200 on top of us already being $2000 over budget haha. Anyways, I don't even know what I could do now besides to suck it up and start rubbing my pennies together in anticipation of more people unless I don't invite cousins at all or start telling friends they need to break up with their boyfriends haha (jk, obviously).
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  • We have had our guest lists issues as well!! 

    We originally had 210 on our guest list and then our venue said they could hold a max of 160 so we decided we needed to cut, so we have our guest list down to 185 and honestly that is as far as we are willing to go. I know that you should plan on everyone coming but I am not, I am planning on 160, while I was talking to venues they said that 80% is the highest they have ever seen show up. 

    but my feeling is you know your guest list, I know a lot of my family will not show up so I know that 160 is totally within our range, even if out guest list creeps up a little we will be ok. 
  • kfraskfras member
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_november-2012-weddings_guestlist-overgrowing?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:46c2f53c-680c-4532-aa96-4cca92890b59Discussion:a9d7fadf-0bb9-4f66-ab2b-81d76f3945fbPost:ba6fbf22-639b-4461-907f-f9e127cadfec">Re: Guestlist Overgrowing</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Guestlist Overgrowing : This is fine if the person is truly single.  However, if the person is in a relationship, their SO should be included on the invite. Posted by lls31[/QUOTE]

    That is true, but I was invited to a cousin's wedding without my fiance (then boyfriend) when we had been dating four years at that tme. So it does happen regardless of proper etiquette, unfortunately. Fortunately enough, I have the liberty to invite my guests with all of their SOs, but not all couples do have that liberty unfortunately. I would have been more upset if I were not invited at all to my cousin's rather than alone.
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  • kfraskfras member
    First Comment
    OP - I hope it works out for you, don't stress yourself out! Without those out of town relatives of your FI, sounds like you should be ok. around 80-85% is about who normally attends from an average list.
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  • lls31lls31 member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_november-2012-weddings_guestlist-overgrowing?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:46c2f53c-680c-4532-aa96-4cca92890b59Discussion:a9d7fadf-0bb9-4f66-ab2b-81d76f3945fbPost:6ae5ae2d-0cf2-4757-b957-6521befd230f">Re: Guestlist Overgrowing</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Guestlist Overgrowing : That is true, but I was invited to a cousin's wedding without my fiance (then boyfriend) when we had been dating four years at that tme. So it does happen regardless of proper etiquette, unfortunately. Fortunately enough, I have the liberty to invite my guests with all of their SOs, but not all couples do have that liberty unfortunately. I would have been more upset if I were not invited at all to my cousin's rather than alone.
    Posted by kfras[/QUOTE]

    <div>I guess it just depends on the person.  I would be incredibly offended if I was invited to a wedding without my SO.  I wouldn't go and I wouldn't send a gift.</div><div>
    </div><div>My sister's FI was invited to a wedding last summer without her.  She was livid (they had been dating for 6 years at that point and were engaged).  Her FI did not go to the wedding.</div>
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  • I am having this issue as well. I am hoping for 150 max but I my guest list has about 160+. I stopped counting after 158.  I know some of my family will not be able to make it (oot) so I am hoping to get a few responses from std. So I can have a grasp on who from my side can come. I know not 100% of invitees attend a wedding so I am counting on that (and this is budget wise as my venue can hold up to 250).
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  • I would only invite what the venue could hold legally...

    howver, in any wedding you can assume 15-20% won't show.  Out of that 101 you'll probably get 80-85 show I would think
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  • i'm inviting 235 to my wedding, but only realistically expecting about 180.

    my venue can accommodate it, thankfully, if everyone actually did come.  but most of those that probably won't come are my dad's extended family that i never see, and seriously wonder if they got my save the dates and don't know who we are!
  • I was aiming for 200 and somehow we're at 232. I don't mind though because our venue can accomodate 400, and we have the money set aside in case we need to pay for extra people. We're doing buffet style food, so there is no worry about running out of food or anything.
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