Just Engaged and Proposals

Not totally happy how the ring came out

Is it ok to express that you're not happy with you're ring?  I don't want to make my fiancé feel bad.  We picked it out together at the jeweler, but I didn't have a very good experience as the jeweler was sort of a jerk.  He had lied about the price originally, and when we went back to finalize the ring, the price was higher than he said two weeks prior.  My fiancé was angry and the jeweler tried to remedy the situation by bringing out a larger diamond to make me happy, but it was cheaper and less quality.   My fiancé said to get the one I want.  I kept the smaller, better quality one.  I wanted to try on more settings too, but I was so flustered and had a knot in stomach that I kept the one I ordered.  Wish I walked out and waited.  The prongs bother me about it.   I think a different diamond would look better in it.  Do people change their minds and go back to the jeweler?  My fiancé said I could have had anything I wanted, but I didn't know that.  Should I just forget about it or pursue getting a different diamond?  I would think a good jeweler would work with you.  Help.

Re: Not totally happy how the ring came out

  • You're kidding right?

    In your story, you seemed to have more than one opportunity to walk out of your appointment with a jeweler that you didn't care for and ended up buying a ring you didn't like. Now you want to go back and complain because you never spoke up about how you felt.

    This is baffling to me.

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  • Is it ok to express that you're not happy with you're ring?  I don't want to make my fiancé feel bad.  We picked it out together at the jeweler, but I didn't have a very good experience as the jeweler was sort of a jerk.  He had lied about the price originally, and when we went back to finalize the ring, the price was higher than he said two weeks prior.  My fiancé was angry and the jeweler tried to remedy the situation by bringing out a larger diamond to make me happy, but it was cheaper and less quality.   My fiancé said to get the one I want.  I kept the smaller, better quality one.  I wanted to try on more settings too, but I was so flustered and had a knot in stomach that I kept the one I ordered.  Wish I walked out and waited.  The prongs bother me about it.   I think a different diamond would look better in it.  Do people change their minds and go back to the jeweler?  My fiancé said I could have had anything I wanted, but I didn't know that.  Should I just forget about it or pursue getting a different diamond?  I would think a good jeweler would work with you.  Help.

    JIC

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  • Thanks so much for your compassionate reply.
  • Why don't you just have an adult conversation with your Fi, he obviously wants you to be happy. Do you know the terms of your purchase? Are you able to return or exchange it? If you're not happy with your ring, maybe you can exchange it. But give some serious thought to what type of ring you want. 

    The other option you have is to just appreciate the fact that you are loved by a man who wants to make you so happy, and to realize the ring simply isn't that important. You picked a ring that you liked at the time, I'm sure it's lovely!
  • Just talk to your Fi.  Read the paperwork that came with your ring to see if there is a return policy.
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    "I'm not a rude bitch.  I'm ten rude bitches in a large coat."

  • I didn't choose my engagement ring.  My FI chose it.  He is a minimalist, so I have a simple solitaire tiffany style ring with a good diamond.  I have worn it for 38 years.  It wasn't what I really wanted at the time, but now I wouldn't trade it for anything.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited December 2014
    You're kidding right? In your story, you seemed to have more than one opportunity to walk out of your appointment with a jeweler that you didn't care for and ended up buying a ring you didn't like. Now you want to go back and complain because you never spoke up about how you felt. This is baffling to me.
    I agree with this.  You had multiple opportunities to just walk out and go else where but you didn't. Why?

    I would talk to your FI and tell him that you felt pressured into choosing something and are just unhappy with the choice you made.  Read the paperwork and see about the return policy.  Go back to the jewelers and do not back down until you get what you want.  Don't just pick something just to pick something because then you will be right back in the same boat you are in now.

  • I very much appreciate all of your replies.  What I have is lovely.  Really.  But when in that negative situation I felt that I only had those two choices, my current diamond or the bigger, lesser quality one the jeweler presented.  I was thinking of my fiance and I didn't feel I could ask for more than what was in front of me, especially since he was pissed at the jeweler.  I thought we were at our dollar limit with the way things went down.  Only later when I expressed my feelings, he told me never settle for second best and I could have overrided both with something better and closer to what I wanted.  He's a gem.  Now I'm driving myself crazy.   
  • arrrghmateyarrrghmatey member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2014
    Sounds like you should have done some more shopping around--did you look at more than one place? My FI picked out my ring on his own, and went to at least seven different jewelers. He made it a rule to always leave each jeweler on the first visit without buying anything so that he would consider his options. He ended up going with Blue Nile (online), and he told me that if I didn't like it, I could return it within 30 days and get something else. Mine is also a simple, single solitaire of high quality in platinum, and I LOVE it.

    If you're more upset by the experience with the jeweler, then let it go. You said your ring is lovely, so I don't know what else you want from the situation. If you're really unhappy with the ring itself, check your paperwork and bring it back to the store. And this time, take your time picking out a ring you're going to be happy with rather than feel like you have you to leave the store with a ring on your finger.
                                     Wedding Countdown Ticker

                                                   image
  • I very much appreciate all of your replies.  What I have is lovely.  Really.  But when in that negative situation I felt that I only had those two choices, my current diamond or the bigger, lesser quality one the jeweler presented.  I was thinking of my fiance and I didn't feel I could ask for more than what was in front of me, especially since he was pissed at the jeweler.  I thought we were at our dollar limit with the way things went down.  Only later when I expressed my feelings, he told me never settle for second best and I could have overrided both with something better and closer to what I wanted.  He's a gem.  Now I'm driving myself crazy.   

    Serious question. Can you do anything about it? What does your return/ exchange policy say?

    If you can exchange the ring, are you actually going to stand up for yourself? Or just get pushed around again? Sounds like you let a vendor tell you what ring to get.

    I would decide beforehand what EXACTLY it is that you want. So that you can be clear, get what you want and no ones time is wasted.

    BabyFruit Ticker
  • Did you already have it resized? What does the paperwork say? Jewelers normally make you sign something with you buy and that usually has a return policy on it but as far as I know, they usually won't take it back if you've had it resized already. Read the paperwork carefully and bring that paper with you to the jeweler just in case they try to BS you.

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