Pre-wedding Parties

ok so now a few questions regarding the shower *UPDATES*

JaniV123JaniV123 member
First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
edited December 2014 in Pre-wedding Parties
who do I invite to the shower? What is an average number? (of course it will also depend on what my mom can afford) 

When to send out the invites for the shower? 

Wedding invites will be going out early April, shower is April 25-26 (not set in stone yet, but it HAS to be that weekend), could this be an issue? 

UPDATE:

So my mom and Godmother will be hosting it, apparently mainly my godmother, and she didnt give me a number of people. It is going to be in her house. I am super excited!!! I am supposed to start compiling the guest list so I will take all of the advice here! Thanks so much ladies! 


Re: ok so now a few questions regarding the shower *UPDATES*

  • Ask the host of the shower for a max number of guests they can comfortable afford to host.  Then take a look at your wedding guest list and invite those who you are truly close with (family or friends). Not every woman needs to be invited and you certainly don't have to meet the max number your host gave you.  Just invite who you really want to be there.  There is no set number to have.  I had about 15 people at mine while others have 50+.  This is really a personal choice as well as what your host is comfortable with.

    As for the wedding invite and shower timing.  The fact that you will send out wedding invites in early April has no bearing on you being able to have your shower at the end of April.

  • The one rule about who to invite to a shower is that anyone invited to the shower must also be invited to the wedding. So your hostess (in this case, your mom) can invite anyone, provided that they are on your wedding guest list. So there's no "average number" of guests-it depends on how many people your mom wants to invite. I would invite your wedding party members, but beyond that, it's up to your mom and your wedding guest list.

    There's no particular rule about when to issue the invitations, but I'd do it, oh, 3-4 weeks in advance of the shower.
  • lovegood90lovegood90 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2014

    I think the only rules are:

    - It's up to the host to determine how many people they can afford to host. However I think showers are generally your nearest and dearest only. The host would be the one to send out invites.

    - The guest list must only be made up of guests invited to the wedding.

    I don't know if there's a "rule" as to when to send out invites, but I think as long as you send your wedding invites out first, you're good.

    Formerly martha1818

    image


  • Thanks all, so i guess the biggest thing is how many people my mom tells me she can host. That will trim the guest list. Also the invite list will be drafted from the final guest list which is already done. 

    Our wedding guest list is big but its super close knit. We are barely having friends invited, its mostly family I consider very dear and close to my heart. 

    Also who do I invite from FI's family? 

    Wait so I have to mail the wedding invitation BEFORE my mom mails the shower invitations? That would be over 10 weeks before the wedding then, I thought they were supposed to be sent out 8-10 weeks before. 


  • JaniV123 said:
    Thanks all, so i guess the biggest thing is how many people my mom tells me she can host. That will trim the guest list. Also the invite list will be drafted from the final guest list which is already done. 

    Our wedding guest list is big but its super close knit. We are barely having friends invited, its mostly family I consider very dear and close to my heart. 

    Also who do I invite from FI's family? 

    Wait so I have to mail the wedding invitation BEFORE my mom mails the shower invitations? That would be over 10 weeks before the wedding then, I thought they were supposed to be sent out 8-10 weeks before. 
    1st bolded - Whoever you would like.  Who are you close to?

    2nd bolded - No the wedding invites do not have to go out before your shower invites.  Mine didn't because my shower was held before the time my wedding invitations needed to be sent.  Really how you have it worked both invites will probably be going out at the same time.  And wedding invites go out 4-8 weeks before your wedding date not any earlier.

  • JaniV123 said:
    Thanks all, so i guess the biggest thing is how many people my mom tells me she can host. That will trim the guest list. Also the invite list will be drafted from the final guest list which is already done. 

    Our wedding guest list is big but its super close knit. We are barely having friends invited, its mostly family I consider very dear and close to my heart. 

    Also who do I invite from FI's family? 

    Wait so I have to mail the wedding invitation BEFORE my mom mails the shower invitations? That would be over 10 weeks before the wedding then, I thought they were supposed to be sent out 8-10 weeks before. 
    1st bolded - Whoever you would like.  Who are you close to?

    2nd bolded - No the wedding invites do not have to go out before your shower invites.  Mine didn't because my shower was held before the time my wedding invitations needed to be sent.  Really how you have it worked both invites will probably be going out at the same time.  And wedding invites go out 4-8 weeks before your wedding date not any earlier.
    I would interject that often, it is a common courtesy to always include the mothers of the bride and groom at showers.
  • JaniV123 said:
    Thanks all, so i guess the biggest thing is how many people my mom tells me she can host. That will trim the guest list. Also the invite list will be drafted from the final guest list which is already done. 

    Our wedding guest list is big but its super close knit. We are barely having friends invited, its mostly family I consider very dear and close to my heart. 

    Also who do I invite from FI's family? 

    Wait so I have to mail the wedding invitation BEFORE my mom mails the shower invitations? That would be over 10 weeks before the wedding then, I thought they were supposed to be sent out 8-10 weeks before. 
    1st bolded - Whoever you would like.  Who are you close to?

    2nd bolded - No the wedding invites do not have to go out before your shower invites.  Mine didn't because my shower was held before the time my wedding invitations needed to be sent.  Really how you have it worked both invites will probably be going out at the same time.  And wedding invites go out 4-8 weeks before your wedding date not any earlier.
    I am really only close with FMIL and FSIL's. SO I wouldnt be obligated to invite his grandmothers etc if I am not close to them? 

    So mailing the wedding invites 1-2 weeks after shower invites have gone out would be ok? 


  • MobKaz said:
    JaniV123 said:
    Thanks all, so i guess the biggest thing is how many people my mom tells me she can host. That will trim the guest list. Also the invite list will be drafted from the final guest list which is already done. 

    Our wedding guest list is big but its super close knit. We are barely having friends invited, its mostly family I consider very dear and close to my heart. 

    Also who do I invite from FI's family? 

    Wait so I have to mail the wedding invitation BEFORE my mom mails the shower invitations? That would be over 10 weeks before the wedding then, I thought they were supposed to be sent out 8-10 weeks before. 
    1st bolded - Whoever you would like.  Who are you close to?

    2nd bolded - No the wedding invites do not have to go out before your shower invites.  Mine didn't because my shower was held before the time my wedding invitations needed to be sent.  Really how you have it worked both invites will probably be going out at the same time.  And wedding invites go out 4-8 weeks before your wedding date not any earlier.
    I would interject that often, it is a common courtesy to always include the mothers of the bride and groom at showers.
    Yes, it is common courtesy but it isn't a requirement.

  • MobKaz said:
    JaniV123 said:
    Thanks all, so i guess the biggest thing is how many people my mom tells me she can host. That will trim the guest list. Also the invite list will be drafted from the final guest list which is already done. 

    Our wedding guest list is big but its super close knit. We are barely having friends invited, its mostly family I consider very dear and close to my heart. 

    Also who do I invite from FI's family? 

    Wait so I have to mail the wedding invitation BEFORE my mom mails the shower invitations? That would be over 10 weeks before the wedding then, I thought they were supposed to be sent out 8-10 weeks before. 
    1st bolded - Whoever you would like.  Who are you close to?

    2nd bolded - No the wedding invites do not have to go out before your shower invites.  Mine didn't because my shower was held before the time my wedding invitations needed to be sent.  Really how you have it worked both invites will probably be going out at the same time.  And wedding invites go out 4-8 weeks before your wedding date not any earlier.
    I would interject that often, it is a common courtesy to always include the mothers of the bride and groom at showers.
    This. 
    *********************************************************************************

    image
  • JaniV123 said:
    JaniV123 said:
    Thanks all, so i guess the biggest thing is how many people my mom tells me she can host. That will trim the guest list. Also the invite list will be drafted from the final guest list which is already done. 

    Our wedding guest list is big but its super close knit. We are barely having friends invited, its mostly family I consider very dear and close to my heart. 

    Also who do I invite from FI's family? 

    Wait so I have to mail the wedding invitation BEFORE my mom mails the shower invitations? That would be over 10 weeks before the wedding then, I thought they were supposed to be sent out 8-10 weeks before. 
    1st bolded - Whoever you would like.  Who are you close to?

    2nd bolded - No the wedding invites do not have to go out before your shower invites.  Mine didn't because my shower was held before the time my wedding invitations needed to be sent.  Really how you have it worked both invites will probably be going out at the same time.  And wedding invites go out 4-8 weeks before your wedding date not any earlier.
    I am really only close with FMIL and FSIL's. SO I wouldnt be obligated to invite his grandmothers etc if I am not close to them? 

    So mailing the wedding invites 1-2 weeks after shower invites have gone out would be ok? 
    No, you aren't obligated to include anyone.  If you aren't close to his grandmothers then you don't have to invite them.

    And yes, mailing wedding invites 1-2 weeks after shower invites is fine.

  • Thanks so much @Maggie0829

    I have my hands full for the 3 week vacation! 

    Thanks ladies


  • I must mention that many people believe that it is not appropriate for the MOB to host a bridal shower.  Ten years ago, this was written in stone.  I know that many people are doing this now, but some people will find it very side-eye worthy.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
  • @CMGragain

    I did not know that. Here on the island, its usually done that way from my experience and from what goes on in my family. Its usually the mom, godmother or sister that hosts the bridal shower. Anyways, thanks for the input :D


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