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Snarky brides.. give your honest opinions!

Luv333Luv333 member
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in Snarky Brides
So, There has been much debate in my circle of friends/family, and so I'm seeking out my snarky knotties who give the most honest advice and opinions!

I have been with my FI for 12 years now. We have been engaged for over 8 years, and have 2 beautiful children together. We met when we were very young...moved in together a few months after we started dating....not long after, we got engaged and found out baby #1 was on the way. We have finally become financially stable/comfortable enough to justify spending money on a wedding. 

What I need your help with is...Instead of a gift registry can we do a honeymoon registry? FI and I have a home that is stocked. We are not having any showers/engagement party/or traditional gifty parties. Neither of us feel comfortable asking for gifts for a wedding that is happening 8 years and 2 children later than it "should have". Is a honeymoon registry tacky?!

My traditional family is flipping out about the idea..."no classy southern woman doesn't have a bridal shower and asks for money for a honeymoon" and others are telling us we should have "just go to the JOP this late in the game". Others are saying this is a brilliant idea. 

So, SNARK AWAY! Thanks for the input in advance!
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Re: Snarky brides.. give your honest opinions!

  • wrigleyvillewrigleyville member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2014
    Your family is rude for saying, "Just go to the JOP since it's so late in the game." What game? Also, there's no such thing as an expiration date on a non-JOP wedding. You can have any kind of wedding you want, no matter how long you've been together, how many kids you have, and how old you are.

    Honeymoon registries take a cut, so they're a bad idea. If a guest gives you $100 toward a nice dinner, for example, you don't actually get the dinner. The registry sends you a check for $93 - the guest's original $100 minus the 7% cut.

    Honeymoon registries are a new thing, invented by people who are good at making money. People have been giving money for weddings since the beginning of time. There is no need for a money registry. People know cash is appreciated, and wouldn't you rather get the full $100?

    We didn't have a registry, and I declined offers for a bridal shower. When people asked where we were registered, I just told them we hadn't registered anywhere. When they pressed for ideas, I'd say, "We're trying to save up for a condo," but I never straight-up said, "We want money."

    Very few people asked about a registry. Every guest except for one gave us money, and that one guest gave us a beautiful handmade quilt (they give a quilt as a wedding gift to every couple in our family). So, even if people don't ask, chances are, you'll end up with money. In my circle, people give physical gifts at bridal showers and cash gifts at the wedding.
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  • Luv333Luv333 member
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    We hadn't planned on having any sort of registry (honeymoon or gift). It was the way the Hens were so upset that I wasn't registering or having a shower "people will want to give gifts and if you don't register what will they do?!". It made me lol because they felt that not having a registry was just unheard of and made quite a dilemma. It was more to appease the old ladies who would be clueless wandering around macy's wondering what on earth to buy! haha kind of a compromise, but you make a good point.
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  • wrigleyvillewrigleyville member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2014
    You could always make a small registry for things like nicer towels and new sheets, a new set of knives, things like that. Some people do that as a compromise. On The Knot, that's referred to as registering for "upgrades".
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  • Luv333Luv333 member
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    I like the upgrades being etiquette approved. 

    MY mother is also insisting on a money tree and money dance. I think those are quite tacky myself, so I couldn't understand the opposition to the honeymoon registry. I see how it can be seen as the same thing. 


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  • beetherybeethery member
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    Luv333 said:
    I like the upgrades being etiquette approved. 

    MY mother is also insisting on a money tree and money dance. I think those are quite tacky myself, so I couldn't understand the opposition to the honeymoon registry. I see how it can be seen as the same thing. 


    Yuuuuuuuck. Money tree/money dances are aaaaaawful. Definitely don't partake of those.
    --

    I'm the fuck     out.

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  • Luv333Luv333 member
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    Trust me it's not happening! If I even see a dollar come out 3 feet from the dance floor while I'm on it. this biatch will go straight ghetto-ninja-jedi on someone!
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  • beetherybeethery member
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    Luv333 said:
    Trust me it's not happening! If I even see a dollar come out 3 feet from the dance floor while I'm on it. this biatch will go straight ghetto-ninja-jedi on someone!
    Good on ya!
    --

    I'm the fuck     out.

    image
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  • Cookie PusherCookie Pusher member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    DH and I dated for 10 years before we got engaged and 12.5 years before our wedding (13 years together next month, whoo). I would have been livid if anyone tried to tell us what kind of wedding we were allowed to have. No one else was paying for it, and no one was obligated to come if they didn't want to. We also didn't register or have any pre-wedding parties. Every single gift we received was monetary via cash, checks, or giftcards. Most of our guests had figured we didn't want physical gifts anyway since we also have a fully-stocked home.
    ~*~*~*~*~

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  • larrygagalarrygaga member
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    Have your awesome wedding and don't register for anything and don't accept a bridal shower. People will probably buy you random shit and give you money. Make your wedding cheaper for extra honeymoon money!
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  • badbnagdwaybadbnagdway member
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    Don't do a registry at all. If people ask you about it, tell them you are saving for the honeymoon you always dreamed of. Most people will give you money. 
    image
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  • yogablossomyogablossom member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment Name Dropper
    You don't have to do a registry. If someone wants to throw you a shower, the guests invited can buy you what gifts they want for the shower, registry or no. In fact, according to Miss Manners' new book, she states that having registries are rude because grown adults should not be telling other grown adults how to buy gifts/what gifts to buy.
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  • Bubblegum5586Bubblegum5586 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    wrigleyville said:
    You could always make a small registry for things like nicer towels and new sheets, a new set of knives, things like that. Some people do that as a compromise. On The Knot, that's referred to as registering for "upgrades".
     
    This is what I was thinking. Do something small to get some new stuff and others will likely just give you cash when they see there are not a lot of options.

    When we registered we were still living in our apartment. We waited until we bought our house 9 months later to open most of our gifts (open to use - we knew the items to write the Thank Yous), and I realized a lot didn't go with our new house. Between what I returned and GCs I had $800 to spend at BBB which I spend most of it quickly, but you could save it for when you need new items or when seasonal items come out!
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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
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    edited June 2015

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  • slothiegalslothiegal member
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    edited December 2014
    ashley8918 said:
    NO HONEYMOON REGISTRIES EVER.
    image

    This is all that ever needs to be said about this issue.



    ETA hit post too early


    Anniversary

    image
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  • ashley8918ashley8918 member
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    slothiegal said:
    ashley8918 said:
    NO HONEYMOON REGISTRIES EVER.
    image

    This is all that ever needs to be said about this issue.



    ETA hit post too early


    I am disappointed in myself. I should have large-texted that motherfucker.
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  • princessofgenoviaprincessofgenovia member
    First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
    ashley8918 said:
    NO HONEYMOON REGISTRIES EVER.
    image
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  • KatieinBklnKatieinBkln member
    First Answer First Comment First Anniversary 5 Love Its
    I'm going to start a new Honeyfund-type company. The URL will be www.GiveMeMoneyPlease.com/ItsANovelIdeaTho
    image
    This baby knows exactly how I feel
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