Snarky Brides

My sister kicked me out of her wedding!

Not sure where else to put this. I'm just upset and can't really vent anywhere else.

So, about a month ago, my sister asked me to be in her wedding. We really don't get along all that well but we've been working on it, at least I have. She's my sister, so I've been trying to fix our relationship. I haven't really talked to her much since she asked me. Anyway, I got a text 3 days ago saying that she and her fiance want a smaller wedding party than all the people they'd asked and she's sorry but she's un-asking me to be a bridesmaid. And, really, I get it but my feelings are still hurt. I still haven't responded to her. :/

And now, I haven't asked anyone to be a bridesmaid yet, my wedding isn't until December. Originally, I was going to ask her but now I'm not sure I want to. I know, I'm probably be a bitch about all this. Maybe overreacting a bit. I didn't think that I really wanted to be in her wedding that much, that I was doing it to try to repair some of the damage and be supportive. But now, I'm way more hurt than I thought I would be. And, I'm not sure what to do... Advice? Thoughts? Help?
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Re: My sister kicked me out of her wedding!

  • pinkcow13pinkcow13 The Concrete Jungle
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    Wow, I'm sorry. That was a dick move. After that, I would not have her be in my wedding. I can be a spiteful bitch though. 
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    hellohkbrunsonveggies
  • I feel like if she doesn't appreciate you enough that she can actually kick you out of her wedding party, she may not care either way about being in yours.. Sad, but definitely consider what things might be like if she was in your party and you weren't comfortable with it down the road.
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston
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    Yeah, that was incredibly mean of your sister and her FI.

    I wouldn't want to ask her after this either, but weddings aren't tit-for-tat. Choose the people you feel closest to, whether that includes your sister or not.
  • alexandducky412alexandducky412 Jacksonville, NC
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    I personally would tell her to spit on it, sit on it, and spin, but I am also an incredibly spiteful asshole who's stubborn as a mule, so I'm gonna say that if you want her in your wedding, this should not be a determining factor and you should continue on as planned, with your sister in the party.
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    theartistformerlyknownasNoneForUs
  • larrygagalarrygaga Czechoslovakia
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    Sounds like you two would be better off just attending each other's weddings. What a meanie.
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  • ShesSoColdShesSoCold bend over and I'll show ya
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    Also, OP, good for you for waiting to ask your WP. How awkward would this be if you'd already asked her? Add this to the list of examples for excited, DIYing, brand new brides with three year engagements.
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    huskypuppy14
  • alexandducky412alexandducky412 Jacksonville, NC
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    edited January 2015
    Also, OP, good for you for waiting to ask your WP. How awkward would this be if you'd already asked her? Add this to the list of examples for excited, DIYing, brand new brides with three year engagements.
    Joining this website has actually stopped me from choosing my bridal party for that reason, though I already know three of them are definitely in the party (can handle it financially and responsibly, and we'd walk to the ends of the earth for each other) but won't name names yet in case something like this occurs.

    Also, is that a line of slobber from your dog's mouth to the floor? (Sorry about the derail, but my FI has a drooly dog too and I'm getting a kick out of the photo.)
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  • I am a bit quirky but I might ask her to be in my party and hope it makes her feel like shit for kicking me out.
  • climbingwifeclimbingwife NYC 'burbs
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    I don't think you're overreacting. What a shitty thing for her to do.

    I had a friend un-ask me to be her kid's godmother. I was incredibly hurt and we didn't speak for years.

    NoneForUs
  • I'm not trying to get back at her for kicking me out by not asking her. Just hurt right now. Mostly just need to know I wasn't being crazy with my reaction. Thank you lovelies.
  • They definitely should have figured out what size wedding they wanted before they went asking people to be a part of it. There's no excuse for what she did. It was rude.

    I'd show up as a guest to her wedding and keep my mouth shut, only because any other action would reflect badly on you.

    As for your own wedding, I wouldn't ask her to be a maid. It's not just about how she treated you. If she's this disorganized with her own wedding, you know you couldn't count on her to do what was needed for yours.
  • APDSS22APDSS22 O-K-L-A-H-O-M-A is OK
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    Yeah, I wouldn't ask her to be a bridesmaid either.  It's not just that she didn't want you as part of her wedding party, it's the fact that she wasn't that close to you to begin with and then treated you like a disposable prop.  Good on you for waiting to ask your bridesmaids.

  • huskypuppy14huskypuppy14 Boston Suburbs
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    kellyem2 said:
    They definitely should have figured out what size wedding they wanted before they went asking people to be a part of it. There's no excuse for what she did. It was rude.

    I'd show up as a guest to her wedding and keep my mouth shut, only because any other action would reflect badly on you.

    As for your own wedding, I wouldn't ask her to be a maid. It's not just about how she treated you. If she's this disorganized with her own wedding, you know you couldn't count on her to do what was needed for yours.
    What does she need to do other than show up in the appropriate dress and walk down the aisle?
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    adk19
  • kaitlynmichellekaitlynmichelle British Columbia
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    That was really a dick move on her part. I wouldn't ask her to be a BM after she treated me like that personally. But it is your call.
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  • I'd be tempted to ask her to be a bridesmaid and make her wear a hideous dress.
    Hmm... that is a little bit tempting. Lol. But she's totally not worth the time and energy at this point. I'll just go ahead and ask my real friends in a couple months. 
    slothiegaladk19DanikaMarie0227
  • slothiegalslothiegal The Sloth Farm
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    I'd be tempted to ask her to be a bridesmaid and make her wear a hideous dress.
    Hmm... that is a little bit tempting. Lol. But she's totally not worth the time and energy at this point. I'll just go ahead and ask my real friends in a couple months. 
    Good attitude, OP  :)
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  • ViczaesarViczaesar Central Coast, CA
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    OP, I'm sorry that your sister did that to you.  I would also be incredibly hurt and rethink asking her to be in my wedding.  That would be my personal, anger-driven and pain-driven reaction to her actions.

    I also don't think you should ask her to be in your wedding, but the reason for that is not because she kicked you out of hers.  Quite apart from that, you say that the reason you wanted to ask her to be in your wedding is to bring you closer together.  That kind of plan often does not turn out the way people want them to go, and you may end up damaging your relationship with her even further.  I suggest you ask the people to whom you are closest and keep on working on your relationship with your sister, apart from either her wedding or yours.  Good luck.



  • MobKazMobKaz Chicago suburbs
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    Also, OP, good for you for waiting to ask your WP. How awkward would this be if you'd already asked her? Add this to the list of examples for excited, DIYing, brand new brides with three year engagements.
    Joining this website has actually stopped me from choosing my bridal party for that reason, though I already know three of them are definitely in the party (can handle it financially and responsibly, and we'd walk to the ends of the earth for each other) but won't name names yet in case something like this occurs.

    Also, is that a line of slobber from your dog's mouth to the floor? (Sorry about the derail, but my FI has a drooly dog too and I'm getting a kick out of the photo.)
    What do you mean that you know that "three of your potential BM's can handle the role financially and responsibly"?
  • I can't imagine how hurt you must be. Here you are trying to build a better relationship with your sister and she pulls rude stunts like this! You are not overreacting and you have every right to be offended. 

    Maybe this is a sign that you need to protect yourself emotionally from your sister. Do not ask her to be in your wedding if it doesn't feel right. 
  • edited June 2015

    I'm out.
  • Did you guys know this thread is being talked about on Jezebel?
    Link? (Yep, too lazy to search.)
  • Just tell her how hurtful it was and that you were looking forward to this experience as a way to get closer to each other. It is very shitty she did this to you, but maybe this is the best opportunity to prove to yourself and to her that you're willing to do what it takes to be close, even if that means forgiving such a huge slap in the face. It really comes down to how badly you want to have a better relationship with her. You're justified for cutting her off, but consider if it is worth the long term damage (like she should have considered...). Also, you can always secretly gloat that you were the bigger (and better) person for it!

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  • ShesSoColdShesSoCold bend over and I'll show ya
    Moderator 5000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary
    mod
    Also, OP, good for you for waiting to ask your WP. How awkward would this be if you'd already asked her? Add this to the list of examples for excited, DIYing, brand new brides with three year engagements.
    Joining this website has actually stopped me from choosing my bridal party for that reason, though I already know three of them are definitely in the party (can handle it financially and responsibly, and we'd walk to the ends of the earth for each other) but won't name names yet in case something like this occurs.

    Also, is that a line of slobber from your dog's mouth to the floor? (Sorry about the derail, but my FI has a drooly dog too and I'm getting a kick out of the photo.)

    Lol yep. That's drool. She's my big slobbery rump roast and I love her. :)
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  • This thread was talked about on Kiss fm Chicago radio this morning
    ShesSoCold
  • dcbride86dcbride86 Washington, DC
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    This thread was talked about on Kiss fm Chicago radio this morning


    It was also talked about online:

    http://itheedread.jezebel.com/can-you-axe-someone-from-the-wedding-party-1678986350

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