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Not having pre-wedding parties

futuremrshpfuturemrshp member
First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
edited December 2014 in Pre-wedding Parties

Hi ladies-- in talking with one of my friends she was asking if I was having a bridal shower and all of that.  I told her no, I didn't want all of that and that my MOH asked when I first got engaged what I wanted to do for all of these parties, and I said no, no worries on all of that.  I just want people to come to the wedding and have a grand ole time. So my friend was like "Whew, OK, I was hoping I wasn't missing anything!"

And it made me realize -- I don't want other friends to think that they weren't invited to pre-wedding stuff, you know?  How do you spread the word, I guess, that I'm not planning on doing an engagement party, bridal shower or bachelorette party without being annoying about it?  I would assume just casually dropping it in conversations is a way and hope the word spreads?   Or as in my previous posts, am I stressing too much over it?  :-D   

(edited to take out stuff about FI... not necessary)

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Re: Not having pre-wedding parties

  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited December 2014
    You wait until someone asks you, and answer them, "No, thank you, I'm not having any pre-wedding parties." You don't "spread the word" to people who haven't asked, for the same reason you don't include gift information or "no gifts" requests in wedding invitations: It comes across as though you think you're entitled to have someone host parties and/or showers for you, which you're not.
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  • NYCMercedesNYCMercedes member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    futuremrshp said:

    Hi ladies-- in talking with one of my friends she was asking if I was having a bridal shower and all of that.  I told her no, I didn't want all of that and that my MOH asked when I first got engaged what I wanted to do for all of these parties, and I said no, no worries on all of that.  I just want people to come to the wedding and have a grand ole time. So my friend was like "Woo, OK, I was hoping I wasn't missing anything!"

    And it made me realize -- I don't want other friends to think that they weren't invited to pre-wedding stuff, you know?  How do you spread the word, I guess, that I'm not planning on doing an engagement party, bridal shower or bachelorette party without being annoying about it?  I would assume just casually dropping it in conversations is a way and hope the word spreads?   Or as in my previous posts, am I stressing too much over it?  :-D  (The FI is having a bachelor party but that's a totally male-bonding thing they've been talking about for like years so that's no surprise to anyone.  :) 


    You're stressing way too much over it.
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  • futuremrshpfuturemrshp member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper

    Jen4948  but of course I'm not entitled to these things! 

    Thank you ladies for the sanity check!

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  • CMGragainCMGragain member
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    It is very rude to delete your original post.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
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  • futuremrshpfuturemrshp member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    @CMGragain I tried to edit it and it was deleted.  I've been trying for the past 10 minutes to un-delete it.  My apologies!!!  I'll try again!
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  • futuremrshpfuturemrshp member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2014

     (Edited to take out the FI stuff... not necessary.)  I hope it worked.  It's back up on my end.

    Everyone have a WONDERFUL NEW YEAR!

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  • clearcryss1clearcryss1 member
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    Thank you for this post! I myself am thinking the same thing. I don't want the fuss of all the parties leading up to the wedding. It just seems like too much. I think what I will do is mention this on my wedding website to avoid people thinking that they weren't invited to an event. :)
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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
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    clearcryss1 said:
    Thank you for this post! I myself am thinking the same thing. I don't want the fuss of all the parties leading up to the wedding. It just seems like too much. I think what I will do is mention this on my wedding website to avoid people thinking that they weren't invited to an event. :)
    Don't do this.  They'll realize they didn't miss anything when they realize you didn't have anything.  If someone sees you the day before your wedding and says, "oh hey, how was your shower?"  You say, "I didn't have a shower."  Then they realize they didn't miss it.  You don't have to tell them, "hey everyone, I'm not having any pre-wedding parties, so please don't freak out about not being invited to one."  It just seems tacky.
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