Chit Chat

Do you still text old opposite sex friends?

2»

Re: Do you still text old opposite sex friends?


  • LabLove86 said:
    A very close friend of mine is male. I not only text him, but we occasionally go to lunch together. Just the 2 of us.


    His wife is fine with it.

    My Fi is fine with it.


    We also hang out the 4 of us, or in a larger group. It depends on life at the time. 
    I'm the same way with a male friend of mine. He and I both love horror movies set in places like English moors and other "old" settings, and his wife (my MOH) and my H can't stand them, so he and I go together.

    His wife always jokes that T is taking me on a date, and I joke that H should take her on a date some time. Then she threatens to take H to the American Girl Doll store. ;)
  • I'm very confused by this.
    Why wouldn't it be okay?
    image
  • Basically, I want to get married but I don't want things to change with friends.
    If your FI will make you stop talking to your friends after you're married, just because they're male, I suggest you look at that massive red flag in the face and think very hard.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • Well I assume once we get married, my FI will install my chastity belt and delete all my male friends phone numbers all in one fell swoop so he can be sure I will do as he wishes.  Isn't that how marriage works?


    But in all seriousness, why would either of us care?  We are engaged, obviously we trust each other and love each other and don't have jealousy issues with friends.  If we did, we wouldn't be getting married.  I have male friends who are married and I intend on keeping my male friends once I am a wife.  Changing my name won't give me a personality transplant along the way.
    image


  • I have friends that are guys. FI has friends that are girls. Sometimes we text them random stuff, just as I would do with my girlfriends or FI would do with his guys. It's usually random crap, and it's not like we're texting them all day everyday.
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers


  • Not only do I text people of the opposite gender (and same gender), I even sometimes go out and hang out with them! Without my FI there! Just me...and men! Out. In places like bars!!!!

    What can I say...FI is marrying a wild woman. 
  • Things like this shouldn't change due to marriage... the basis of the relationship and relationship "rules" shouldn't change.  If you are talking about marriage, that level of commitment to each other should already be there before and after the wedding.

    If the appropriate level of trust is there, texting or hanging out with friends, of either sex, shouldn't matter.  You should trust each other to know the boundaries and abide by them.  I am still in contact with male friends, even some of my ex's, and DH is still in contact with female friends and ex's.  We trust each other that nothing inappropriate is going to happen.

    Of course, there are people with higher jealousy levels, trust issues, and/or control issues that wouldn't approve of their SO hanging out or talking to someone of the opposite sex.  If you are dealing with this type of relationship, you have some major issues to work through... or you need to move on to a relationship that allows for the trust that should be there. 

    image 

  • I know we're being trolled by a Youth because she specifically referred to communications with old friends as "texting." Only baby teens communicate with their friends on a text-only basis. (I mean, if texting is off-limits, can you even imagine hanging out? The horror!)
    image
    This baby knows exactly how I feel
  • I know we're being trolled by a Youth because she specifically referred to communications with old friends as "texting." Only baby teens communicate with their friends on a text-only basis. (I mean, if texting is off-limits, can you even imagine hanging out? The horror!)

    Umm... Sometimes we text about hanging out, but I nearly exclusively communicate via text. I hate talking on the phone, and there are sins friends I hang out with very infrequently but text with a lot.

    image
    image
  • I know we're being trolled by a Youth because she specifically referred to communications with old friends as "texting." Only baby teens communicate with their friends on a text-only basis. (I mean, if texting is off-limits, can you even imagine hanging out? The horror!)
    Umm... Sometimes we text about hanging out, but I nearly exclusively communicate via text. I hate talking on the phone, and there are sins friends I hang out with very infrequently but text with a lot.
    Same here. Actually one of my friends accidentally called me one night, said "Oh, sorry didn't mean to call you" we hung up and then went right back to texting with each other. 

    I can stop texting to go pee or something. That's more awkward on the phone. Hold on, listen to total silence while I pee, or better listen to me pee!
  • levioosalevioosa member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited December 2014
    The second you said "youths" @KatieinBkln, this was all I could think of: image

    Edit: for a better, bigger picture


    image
  • levioosa said:
    The second you said "youths" @KatieinBkln, this was all I could think of: image

    Edit: for a better, bigger picture
    Fun fact, my bike tires were, in fact, stolen by street youths! I charitably put a curse on them and hoped sincerely that they died in a fire. Fuckers stole the wheels and derailleur right off the damn bike...
    image
    This baby knows exactly how I feel
  • I know we're being trolled by a Youth because she specifically referred to communications with old friends as "texting." Only baby teens communicate with their friends on a text-only basis. (I mean, if texting is off-limits, can you even imagine hanging out? The horror!)
    Umm... Sometimes we text about hanging out, but I nearly exclusively communicate via text. I hate talking on the phone, and there are sins friends I hang out with very infrequently but text with a lot.
    Oh, I understand--I mostly text, myself. But the question is just "Is it ok to text old friends of the opposite sex" not "Is it ok to still be friends with old friends of the opposite sex, e.g. text, call, Facebook, Actually Hang Out, etc." which I found weird and kind of telling.

    I must be Old because if I'm not actually in the same vicinity as a friend, I am much more likely to communicate on social media or email rather than texting them. I hate text-versations more than just about anything--if it has to send as 2 separate texts, or if I go back and forth more the 3 times about anything, I'm over it. I'd rather Gchat to have a real conversation, if it has to be typed. But for the love of god don't make me write paragraphs with my damn thumbs.
    image
    This baby knows exactly how I feel
  • levioosa said:
    The second you said "youths" @KatieinBkln, this was all I could think of: image

    Edit: for a better, bigger picture
    Fun fact, my bike tires were, in fact, stolen by street youths! I charitably put a curse on them and hoped sincerely that they died in a fire. Fuckers stole the wheels and derailleur right off the damn bike...
    That sucks about your bike!  I would be so pissed - I can only imagine your wrath.  Stupid youths. 

  • I do all the time. I even have a friend who I talk to almost daily about deep personal stuff. You know why? Because he's a friend. His penis does not tempt me into sin.

    Fiance's penis, however.....
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    image

  • larrygagalarrygaga member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited January 2015
  • my FI still talks to one ex that he shouldnt be but they both moved on and i havent heard him mention her needing her car worked on. the other is his baby momma so that i dont have any say it. 
    image
  • mrsk616 said:
    my FI still talks to one ex that he shouldnt be but they both moved on and i havent heard him mention her needing her car worked on. the other is his baby momma so that i dont have any say it. 
    Why shouldn't he?
  • mrsk616 said:
    my FI still talks to one ex that he shouldnt be but they both moved on and i havent heard him mention her needing her car worked on. the other is his baby momma so that i dont have any say it. 
    Why shouldn't he?
    just how i feel. i trust him but find it strange he still talks to her after it ended so badly. 
    image
  • mrsk616 said:
    mrsk616 said:
    my FI still talks to one ex that he shouldnt be but they both moved on and i havent heard him mention her needing her car worked on. the other is his baby momma so that i dont have any say it. 
    Why shouldn't he?
    just how i feel. i trust him but find it strange he still talks to her after it ended so badly. 
    That seems a little insecure. If you trust him, then it shouldn't bother you. Does he know that it bothers you?
  • Oh man, DH's ex sang at his mother's funeral several years ago. They also still keep in touch via social media. Should I divorce him?!
    ~*~*~*~*~

This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards