Rethinking wedding budget & venue

Re: Rethinking wedding budget & venue

• mrscaty member

  

  January 2015 edited January 2015

   OK. First, I think you need to take a few deep breaths. Second, take a few days to think about  your wedding (have your FI do this also). Take away everything you already have in your mind and think about what you want if you were to start fresh. Do you want a small wedding or is a big wedding what you've always envisioned? Just because you have a big wedding doesn't mean the love won't be there. Once you have an idea of what  you really want, revisit what you already have. You already have a big venue. You'll have to decide if that is really what you want or if you can afford to cut your losses. If the stress is purely financial, then you'll have to decide if it's worth it to you (plural) to spend that much. If it's not, that's ok. Take everything one step at a time and really mull over your choices. 

  
  

  FWIW, when H and I planned our wedding, we started with a 75 person big shebang, then wanted to elope, then settled on 40 people for an intimate ceremony, cocktail hour, and dinner. It's ok to change gears, just make sure you are really sure of things before you book them.

  
  

  Good luck - it gets better, I promise!

  
  ETA: Please consider changing your username if it's your full name. Especially since you have a picture of you and your FI as your avatar. Some people are BSC (not here specifically but in general)

  
  

  Report1 Reply
• MesmrEwe member

  

  January 2015

  If it's all-inclusive with the $6.2 you're money ahead, why lose the deposit.  $6.2 doesn't equal $15K!  There are a lot of areas you can easily cut back on and not spend your full budget.  Set budget limits and stick to them.  Instead of renting a tux, shop the clearance rack at Kohl's or JC Penny!  Choose a simpler meal instead of more expensive one.  For your dress, consignment shops or buy online.  Florist - set a budget, give them a list and color scheme and let them figure out how to fit it.  Hire a DJ only for the dance.  Work WITH your vendors, most are willing to work with tight budgets, but you also need to be flexible enough to work with them. 

  Report0 Reply
• *Barbie* member

  

  January 2015

  i guess i would need to ask how you and your FI settled on a $15K budget - did you do research on actual costs of vendors/services in your area, look at what you can afford and choose a number - or was it totally random? ("I think i read somewhere that the average American couple spends $20K on a wedding, so let's shoot for $15K." "yeah, that seems reasonable")

  
  

  i think you and your FI should sit down, look at your everyday budget, figure out what you can afford to spend, and then do some research on what typical costs are in your area, and then make decisions from there. What does $6200 include? Is that number set in stone, or could you reduce the headcount or go with some cheaper options (limited bar, less expensive meals). I would be hesitant to throw out $1500 - maybe you could even work with the venue to "sell " your date so your wouldn't lose the deposit. 

  
  

  regardless of the decision, you and your FI need to discuss this like adults and be on the same page . 

  Report3 Reply