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What should I do about RSVPing

HellomynameisHappySaddHellomynameisHappySadd member
First Anniversary First Comment
edited February 2015 in Wedding Invitations & Paper
Who is responsible for tracking down those who have not RSVPed? Most of the guest are coming per request of my mother or his, (I have met five of his thirty guests and he hasn't seen twenty of the remaining twenty five for more than ten years), so I feel kinda over-whelmed with the idea of tracking down people I don't know or like on top of everything else I need to do. I know it sounds selfish but it is my wedding and I am paying for most of it so shouldn't I get a bit more respect?
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Re: What should I do about RSVPing

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    AddieCakeAddieCake member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    Your RSVP deadline is still a week away.   Wait a day or so after it passes and then call those who have not RSVP'd. 
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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    vulpiepopvulpiepop member
    First Comment 5 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    You haven't reached your RSVP date. Wait a couple days after that and then start calling people you haven't gotten the card back from. There's no need to stress out over it now.

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    Jen4948Jen4948 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    Give your guests until the RSVP date to reply, and allow a few days after that to allow replies that might have been sent at the last minute to arrive. Then call any guests whose RSVP you don't have to follow up.
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    kmmssgkmmssg mod
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    People not RSVPing is not them telling you they don't care about you so don't take it so personally.  This is a problem the greater majority of brides have.  A lot of people are busy, they mean to send it but don't.

    All 4 of my girls have gotten married and we called each and every one of the non-RSVPer's to see if they were coming.  by doing so there was no extra stress, no guessing on how many favors are needed - it solved all your problems.  Give them a couple of days after your RSVP date and start making gracious and polite phone calls to your guests.
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    AddieCakeAddieCake member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    Also, the title of your post is misleading. These are not uninvited guests. 
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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    slothiegalslothiegal member
    First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    HellomynameisHappySadd said:

    I am supper stuck here! I have not heard from half of my invites and don't know if I should just assume they are not coming or try to accommodate those who will just show up. I am making everything myself from the favors to decorations and really need to know who is and is not coming. Also, my family is making all the food so people who don't RSVP and show up create unneeded stress for my special day. They have until the 2nd of next month and then they are basically saying to me," Your wedding isn't important enough for me to bother with an RSVP. If I want some free food I will show up, not bring a gift, and be like, stupid girl!" It sound harsh but really? Is it so hard to check a box and mail a per-stamped envelope? Or call me? Or my mother? I send out RSVPs on the same day I get them so I don't know what the problem is.

    Jeusus, hit the chill button and have a glass of wine. Your deadline is over a week away.
    Anniversary

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    lyndausvilyndausvi mod
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    I had a few invitations that guests never received.   Kind-of hard to RSVP to something when  you never received a formal invite is it?

    I had a few RSVPs that I didn't get in the mail until the week of the wedding.  Mind you all 4 had a postmark of 6 weeks earlier.  Meaning those guests DID RSVP, but the USPS didn't deliver them on time.   Pretty shitty to assume they were not coming when it was not their fault I didn't get the RSVP on time.


    I would not have known any of the above had I not called the people to inquire just after the RSVP date, but before the final numbers needed to be in.  

     Sure there are some true flakes out there. I had 1 or 2 myself, but one should never assume that is the case.










    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
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    mlg78mlg78 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
    The bulk of people either respond right away or wait until the last minute in my experience... Just chill and wait 'til your deadline passes and then do follow up calls.
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    ViczaesarViczaesar member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    HellomynameisHappySadd said:
    I am supper stuck here! I have not heard from half of my invites and don't know if I should just assume they are not coming or try to accommodate those who will just show up. I am making everything myself from the favors to decorations and really need to know who is and is not coming. Also, my family is making all the food so people who don't RSVP and show up create unneeded stress for my special day. They have until the 2nd of next month and then they are basically saying to me," Your wedding isn't important enough for me to bother with an RSVP. If I want some free food I will show up, not bring a gift, and be like, stupid girl!" It sound harsh but really? Is it so hard to check a box and mail a per-stamped envelope? Or call me? Or my mother? I send out RSVPs on the same day I get them so I don't know what the problem is.
    Dude, chill.  Your deadline hasn't even passed yet!  And how on earth are these "uninvited guests"? 

    Your responsibility as the host is to wait until after the deadline has passed and then call everyone whose RSVP you didn't receive to see if they're coming or not.



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    fwtx5815fwtx5815 member
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its First Comment
    I hope it's a small wedding if your family is making all the food.

    And yes, it's too early to freak out about RSVPs.

    ----


     fka dallasbetch 


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    MobKazMobKaz member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    HellomynameisHappySadd said:
    I am supper stuck here! I have not heard from half of my invites and don't know if I should just assume they are not coming or try to accommodate those who will just show up. I am making everything myself from the favors to decorations and really need to know who is and is not coming. Also, my family is making all the food so people who don't RSVP and show up create unneeded stress for my special day. They have until the 2nd of next month and then they are basically saying to me," Your wedding isn't important enough for me to bother with an RSVP. If I want some free food I will show up, not bring a gift, and be like, stupid girl!" It sound harsh but really? Is it so hard to check a box and mail a per-stamped envelope? Or call me? Or my mother? I send out RSVPs on the same day I get them so I don't know what the problem is.
    If this is your interpretation of guests that have yet to RSVP, I shudder to think what your reaction will be to the guests that HAVE responded but then fail to show up. 
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    Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    HellomynameisHappySadd said:
    I am supper stuck here! I have not heard from half of my invites and don't know if I should just assume they are not coming or try to accommodate those who will just show up. I am making everything myself from the favors to decorations and really need to know who is and is not coming. Also, my family is making all the food so people who don't RSVP and show up create unneeded stress for my special day. They have until the 2nd of next month and then they are basically saying to me," Your wedding isn't important enough for me to bother with an RSVP. If I want some free food I will show up, not bring a gift, and be like, stupid girl!" It sound harsh but really? Is it so hard to check a box and mail a per-stamped envelope? Or call me? Or my mother? I send out RSVPs on the same day I get them so I don't know what the problem is.
    Just because you do this doesn't mean that everyone does.  Some people need some time to see if they can take off from work/look at their calendars to see if the can even attend.

    Like the other PP said you need to take a huge ass chill pill.  Just because people haven't RSVPd yet (hell they have another entire week) doesn't mean that they don't give a crap about your wedding.

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    flantasticflantastic member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its

    If you give an RSVP deadline, you have to be okay with people waiting until that deadline.

    Sometimes I wait until the last minute to respond because I'm trying to figure out if it will be possible for me to swing the trip financially/travel/vacation time-wise. It's not because I don't care - actually the opposite.

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    ohannabelleohannabelle member
    First Answer First Comment First Anniversary 5 Love Its
    Breathe. Lots of people wait till the reply by date, so give it a week after that, and then make phone calls. It's too early to stress.
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    HellomynameisHappySaddHellomynameisHappySadd member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    Sorry the title was misleading. I was thinking about the horror of people not RSVPing and just showing up. I have to make everything from decorations to favors and would be horrified if we didn't have enough because someone showed up without telling me. (My mother told me she didn't need one and that kinda stung!) I get very upset about these things as when I receive an RSVP it goes back into the mail with a response before I go up the driveway! I do understand people sometimes have trouble sending them out for one reason or anther it's just so stressful! It is especially stressful for me as I don't get much help. My mother works Hospice and my sister works retail so I do almost everything myself! So tiring!
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    HellomynameisHappySadd said:
    Sorry the title was misleading. I was thinking about the horror of people not RSVPing and just showing up. I have to make everything from decorations to favors and would be horrified if we didn't have enough because someone showed up without telling me. (My mother told me she didn't need one and that kinda stung!) I get very upset about these things as when I receive an RSVP it goes back into the mail with a response before I go up the driveway! I do understand people sometimes have trouble sending them out for one reason or anther it's just so stressful! It is especially stressful for me as I don't get much help. My mother works Hospice and my sister works retail so I do almost everything myself! So tiring!
    Why isn't your fiance helping you?  It's his wedding too, right?
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    Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    adk19 said:
    HellomynameisHappySadd said:
    Sorry the title was misleading. I was thinking about the horror of people not RSVPing and just showing up. I have to make everything from decorations to favors and would be horrified if we didn't have enough because someone showed up without telling me. (My mother told me she didn't need one and that kinda stung!) I get very upset about these things as when I receive an RSVP it goes back into the mail with a response before I go up the driveway! I do understand people sometimes have trouble sending them out for one reason or anther it's just so stressful! It is especially stressful for me as I don't get much help. My mother works Hospice and my sister works retail so I do almost everything myself! So tiring!
    Why isn't your fiance helping you?  It's his wedding too, right?
    This.

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