Community› Wedding Discussion Boards› Wedding Woes
Wedding Woes
New Discussion

I want to be a SAHGF

mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its First Comment
in Wedding Woes

Dear Prudence,
I am a 26-year-old woman living in a quaint tech town. I have been a social worker since graduation, most recently with hospice patients, and the experience made me feel I was headed for a nervous breakdown. I saw terrible things with the families and the job filled me with deep sadness. I’m working on changing careers but struggling to find a field that interests me. I’m happiest in my quiet home, cleaning and making beautiful meals for my partner. I walk my dog, go to the gym, volunteer cleaning up a local forest and do things that promote tranquility. He makes enough at a tech firm to support the both of us, but I am paying my share of bills with my meager savings. We have no children and don’t see any on the horizon. He was supportive of my quitting, assuming I would quickly find another job. But social work now terrifies me, and I don’t know want to do for a career, if anything. Is it wrong to ask my partner to support my quiet at-home life for the sake of my mental health? Am I crazy to drop out of the workforce so early? What do I say to my worried family members when they grill me about my plans for the future?

—Modest Ambitions

Report Reply to Post

Re: I want to be a SAHGF

  • HeffalumpHeffalump member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    A quaint tech town?  How does that work?

    I can see how hospice work would lead to burn out, for sure.  I don't think dropping out of the workforce altogether is a good solution.  Surely there are things she could do in social work that aren't as hard as hospice work, and if she decides the entire field isn't for her, then mid-20's is an ideal time to change tracks.  But I think she needs a better plan than not working.  If she is ever in a position where she does need to work, explaining a multi-year hole in her resume as "promoting tranquility" won't get her very far.
    �
    Report Reply
  • PMeg819PMeg819 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    She needs to see a therapist.

    SAHW and SAHGF just boggles my mind.
    Report Reply
  • mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its First Comment
    SIL was a SAHW for awhile when they lived in Augusta, GA, but that's because there were literally no jobs.  Besides the golf course, there's nothing going on in that town.  And there was nothing that came up at the golf course that she was qualified to do.  She works now part time (like 30-ish hours a week)

    But yeah, being a SAHW/GF just because...definitely points to something more going on. 

    Also, everyone I know who works in hospice care got into it because they interned during school.  They knew what they were getting into.  I wonder if she did any research/shadowing/interning before deciding on hospice.  It's not for everyone, but the hospice workers I do know love their job.  It's my understanding that there's a low turnover rate of hospice workers. 

    Report Reply
  • dharmabunnydharmabunny member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
    Quaint tech town sounds like half of Silicon Valley, Palo Alto and other bedroom communities in the region.

    Why does this have to be a feast or famine type of deal?

    Why not just call it a 3-6 month sabbatical to do some soul searching, find bliss again, get back on the job search, whether it's another career track or opt for a less strenuous job.

    Sort of the "don't make major life decisions when your emotions are in turmoil" thing
    imageAlternaTickers - Cool, free Web tickers
    Report Reply
  • 6fsn6fsn member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper Combo Breaker

    I want to be a SAHGF too.  I'd be easier than this current gig.

    That said there are middle grounds and she needs to find it.

    Report Reply
  • short+sassyshort+sassy member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    6fsn said:

    I want to be a SAHGF too.  I'd be easier than this current gig.

    That said there are middle grounds and she needs to find it.

    Here, here! Lol.  It is pretty eye rolling.  I'd like $100K/year to pet bunnies and fly on rainbows, but it's been awhile since I saw that particular job opportunity.

    Of course, it's nice to have a job we love, but that is not most people's realities.  Geez, girl, just get a job already.  Something, anything.  If she already has a BS, she can take 1-2 years and get a Masters in something completely different and more to her liking.  I realize this is a Dear Prudie letter and my advice will go for naught, but I just couldn't help myself.

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    Report Reply
  • MesmrEweMesmrEwe member
    First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    6fsn said:

    I want to be a SAHGF too.  I'd be easier than this current gig.

    That said there are middle grounds and she needs to find it.

    I want to be a SAHW - this SAHM gig isn't anything like the movies!!  jk

    Yea - she needs to do some soul-searching and figure out a different career path for herself.  There are tons of careers in the field of education she has which she can find herself enjoying more - maybe being a Doula advocating for PG women and bringing life into the world, or a Midwife..  Something tells me she really didn't research her career before she got it...

    Report Reply
  • thejucheideathejucheidea member
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    I have a friend on Facebook who was a SAHW for at least five years before becoming a SAHM last year. She is legitimately the most annoying person I know because she's never been in the workforce but keeps telling me how to go about my workday and how to prepare for our kid. Oh, you have symphysis pubis dysfunction? I had that too, just stay on all fours as often as you can even though you don't have time to take lunch much less move away from your computer for large chunks of time to lean on an exercise ball alternating cow and cat. Daft.

    Report Reply
  • kerbohlkerbohl member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    I'd be curious to see how much time she is spending volunteering.  That would be something that could be put on a resume - she could find some more volunteer jobs, work at those to sort herself out, then begin the career search again.  And school is always awesome - keeps you busy and it is always good to keep learning.  But sitting around doing nothing is not wise.  Granted, since my job is contract I get three to four months off in the summer and am technically a SAHW, but it drives me nuts and I want a full year job.  I couldn't do it for longer. 

    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards