Too Many Groomsmen

ismilee · February 2015

So my FI is planning on having 8-9 groomsmen...This 2 brothers, BFF and a few of his close childhood friends. I only have 4 BM's this includes my MOH...lol...I don't have many friends and no sisters to include. I did discuss this with my FI and he really doesn't want to cut any of his GM...what can I do HELP!!!!

lovegood90 · February 2015

You don't need to have even sides. Just let him have as many as he wants and don't worry about "matching" his number. It'll be fine!

Maggie0829 · February 2015

Even sides are not necessary!

slothiegal · February 2015

ismilee said: So my FI is planning on having 8-9 groomsmen...This 2 brothers, BFF and a few of his close childhood friends. I only have 4 BM's this includes my MOH...lol...I don't have many friends and no sisters to include. I did discuss this with my FI and he really doesn't want to cut any of his GM...what can I do HELP!!!!
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Even sides are not necessary. Let him have whoever he wants....and please don't just pick random people to fill up slots. We hear horror stories all the time about brides who went this route and had it blow up in their faces a few months down the line.
ETA boxes

novella1186 · February 2015

You don't get to dictate his groomsmen, so please don't try to make him "cut" people. If he wants 8 or 9, that's ok. He gets to include who he wants.

As for your side, that's also ok. You don't need the same number as him.

The important thing is that you both have your nearest and dearest standing up with you on your wedding day. The head count is not the important thing.

lyndausvi · February 2015

This is a non-issue. Sides do not have to be even.

southernbelle0915 · February 2015

Even sides are for 80s and 90s weddings. Don't worry about it.

The numbers actually kind of work out if you think about it a different way. If he has 8 GMs and you have 4 BMs, each BM could walk with 2 GMs. Or, if he has 9, the best man could escort the MOG while each BMs walks with 2 GMs. Or all the GMs could be waiting up front and just the BMs process. It doesn't really matter - lots of room for creativity here.

Anyway, here are some examples to show you that uneven sides do not ruin weddings:

blushingbride8888 · February 2015

As everyone else says even sides are not necessary. However, if you're on a budget like so many of us are just remember the wedding party needs gifts and to attend the rehearsal dinner with their gf/bf/husband/wife/fi etc. This might not be something your Fi is thinking of.

Viczaesar · February 2015

ismilee said:

So my FI is planning on having 8-9 groomsmen...This 2 brothers, BFF and a few of his close childhood friends. I only have 4 BM's this includes my MOH...lol...I don't have many friends and no sisters to include. I did discuss this with my FI and he really doesn't want to cut any of his GM...what can I do HELP!!!!

JIC

You do nothing. He definitely shouldn't kick out any of his groomsmen, and you shouldn't add anybody for the sake of having more people.

levioosa · February 2015

blushingbride889 said:

As everyone else says even sides are not necessary. However, if you're on a budget like so many of us are just remember the wedding party needs gifts and to attend the rehearsal dinner with their gf/bf/husband/wife/fi etc. This might not be something your Fi is thinking of.

But if your FI has already asked them, he cannot unask them. Kicking someone out of the wedding party is a friendship ending move. Definitely don't ask him to "cut" people he has already asked. That's not your place.

Sides don't have to be even and you can't dictate who your FI chooses for his side. If it's nine people, then it's nine people. If you have four people who you are closest to, then choose those people. Adding people on as a "consolation prize" meant to make the sides even is pretty shitty for them anyways.

blushingbride8888 · February 2015

levioosa said:

blushingbride889 said:

As everyone else says even sides are not necessary. However, if you're on a budget like so many of us are just remember the wedding party needs gifts and to attend the rehearsal dinner with their gf/bf/husband/wife/fi etc. This might not be something your Fi is thinking of.

But if your FI has already asked them, he cannot unask them. Kicking someone out of the wedding party is a friendship ending move. Definitely don't ask him to "cut" people he has already asked. That's not your place.

Sides don't have to be even and you can't dictate who your FI chooses for his side. If it's nine people, then it's nine people. If you have four people who you are closest to, then choose those people. Adding people on as a "consolation prize" meant to make the sides even is pretty shitty for them anyways.

Agreed - I didn't know if the OP's Fi had asked his groomsmen yet or was just trying to decide how many to have/who to ask.

ismilee · February 2015

Thanks girls...he hasn't asked anyone yet...but it seems like he just wants to include everyone he's grown up just for the sake of having them included. I didn't know that the "matching" was unnecessary, every wedding I've been to has always had even sides....anyhow thanks for the ideas, i feel a lot better now

flantastic · February 2015

ismilee said:

Thanks girls...he hasn't asked anyone yet...but it seems like he just wants to include everyone he's grown up just for the sake of having them included. I didn't know that the "matching" was unnecessary, every wedding I've been to has always had even sides....anyhow thanks for the ideas, i feel a lot better now

Don't worry - my first post on TK was about how to include my brothers and all of our mutual guy friends along with my couple girlfriends. The regs suggested that my brothers and whoever else we wanted could stand on my side, which had literally never crossed my mind because I'd never seen it.

esstee33 · February 2015

ismilee said:

Thanks girls...he hasn't asked anyone yet...but it seems like he just wants to include everyone he's grown up just for the sake of having them included. I didn't know that the "matching" was unnecessary, every wedding I've been to has always had even sides....anyhow thanks for the ideas, i feel a lot better now

Well, if he feels like those are his nearest and dearest and the people he wants to honor by having them stand up there with him, that's his call. I promise it'll still look wonderful!

I think a lot of us grew up in a time where bridal parties were pretty much always even, so it's hard to imagine it another way.

ChemFanatic25 · February 2015

ismilee said:

So my FI is planning on having 8-9 groomsmen...This 2 brothers, BFF and a few of his close childhood friends. I only have 4 BM's this includes my MOH...lol...I don't have many friends and no sisters to include. I did discuss this with my FI and he really doesn't want to cut any of his GM...what can I do HELP!!!!

One of my coworkers had like 13 groomsmen and his bride had 4. So uneven but the pictures looked AMAZING! It's okay to have uneven sides.

I was in a wedding where I was best friends with the bride and my boyfriend at the time was good friends with the groom. The groom told him the day before the wedding that he didn't ask my then bf to be a groomsmen because they didn't want uneven sides. Kind of hurt my then-bf and that makes. Why even bring it up? Even sides aren't necessary so don't worry about it.

Too Many Groomsmen

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