Aw shit, guys! Re: writing vows

Re: Aw shit, guys! Re: writing vows

• novella1186 member

  

  February 2015

  Inkdancer said:

  We wrote our own. I'd be happy to share mine, if you want to read them. I was super nervous, but it ended up working out beautifully. I think I probably shocked some of the traditionalists, because I kind of turned some of the traditional vows on their heads. (I specifically said that I didn't promise to obey H!)

  Please share! 

  

  Report0 Reply
• ohannabelle member

  

  February 2015

  Stop thinking and write. My three favorite getting unstuck techniques- 

  
  

  A: I give myself permission to write the worst crap in the universe.

  This works. If you're not worried about quality, you can get the flow started, and the quality will follow. Maybe you write two pages of crap before the right thought and idea appear. I forget who said Compose in madness, edit with reason. But yes. Compose madly and without fear, clean that shit up and keep the quality and polish up the good things.

  
  

  B: I ask questions, and write the answers. Why do you love him? When was the moment you knew it was the real thing? What do you think are the most important promises to make before a marriage? Questions like that. 10 questions you'd ask a stranger about marriage. Answer without any thought to actual vows, and then pick and choose the truths and words in your madass unedited answers that reflect the promises you're making, and edit those thoughts into vows.

  
  

  C: (Optional) Drink and write. Okay, this is only a short term solution, but Dylan Thomas did it. Edit when you're sober. 

  Report3 Reply
• Inkdancer member

  

  February 2015

  My vows:

  Sometimes when I look at you, I see the man you will one day become. There are lines on your face and grey in your hair, but the honor and strength that define you are still there. It is to both you today and the you I see so far from now that I make these promises:

  I do not promise to submit and obey—I will not be a passive passenger on this journey we make together. Instead, I promise to challenge you and walk beside you. I promise to share in your joys as equally as in your burdens, and to push you to surpass your own expectations. I promise to make you better, as you have made me better.

  I do not promise that I will hold on to our romance—I will not let our love become so watered down. Instead, I promise that I will act out love for you as Christ loves us. I promise that in moments of sickness, sorrow, or strife I will still honor you above all others. I promise to put you first, as you have put me first.

  I do not promise that I will love you until death parts us—I will not stop then. I promise that no force—not death, not grief, not fortune, not the shaking of the foundations of the earth—can persuade me to forsake this solemn vow. Forever I am yours, as you are mine.

  

  

  Report7 Reply
• rockin30ish member

  

  February 2015

  Oh Novella, I feel your pain. FI is all about a traditional ceremony, then throws in that he wants us to write our vows. He won't budge, but okay. My issue is opening myself up like that in front of a lot of people. I've told him that he's going to need to remind me, at the alter, to just look at him and ignore everyone else. (He is my calm.)

  
  

  I have had random things go through my mind about content. There will be one or two humorous things in it. ("I vow to never make you watch 'The Notebook.'") He said he is too. (He has joked that he's going to say the line from Coneheads when Beldar is telling Prymatt what he would do if she died.) It matches our personalities. As serious as we appear to the world, we are actually goofballs and want that shown just a little. And of course, there will be mushy stuff and I'll probably cry. 

  
  

  We are going to have a 3rd party read them both ahead of time to make sure they are in a similar tone and length. 

  

  
  

  
  

  Report1 Reply
• rockin30ish member

  

  February 2015

  Inkdancer said:

  My vows:

  Sometimes when I look at you, I see the man you will one day become. There are lines on your face and grey in your hair, but the honor and strength that define you are still there. It is to both you today and the you I see so far from now that I make these promises:

  I do not promise to submit and obey—I will not be a passive passenger on this journey we make together. Instead, I promise to challenge you and walk beside you. I promise to share in your joys as equally as in your burdens, and to push you to surpass your own expectations. I promise to make you better, as you have made me better.

  I do not promise that I will hold on to our romance—I will not let our love become so watered down. Instead, I promise that I will act out love for you as Christ loves us. I promise that in moments of sickness, sorrow, or strife I will still honor you above all others. I promise to put you first, as you have put me first.

  I do not promise that I will love you until death parts us—I will not stop then. I promise that no force—not death, not grief, not fortune, not the shaking of the foundations of the earth—can persuade me to forsake this solemn vow. Forever I am yours, as you are mine.

  Aww. That made me teary. Those are beautiful vows. I'm also not doing the submit and obey, opting to say something about always being by his side through all the adventures in life.

  

  
  

  
  

  Report0 Reply
• novella1186 member

  

  February 2015

  Inkdancer said:

  My vows:

  Sometimes when I look at you, I see the man you will one day become. There are lines on your face and grey in your hair, but the honor and strength that define you are still there. It is to both you today and the you I see so far from now that I make these promises:

  I do not promise to submit and obey—I will not be a passive passenger on this journey we make together. Instead, I promise to challenge you and walk beside you. I promise to share in your joys as equally as in your burdens, and to push you to surpass your own expectations. I promise to make you better, as you have made me better.

  I do not promise that I will hold on to our romance—I will not let our love become so watered down. Instead, I promise that I will act out love for you as Christ loves us. I promise that in moments of sickness, sorrow, or strife I will still honor you above all others. I promise to put you first, as you have put me first.

  I do not promise that I will love you until death parts us—I will not stop then. I promise that no force—not death, not grief, not fortune, not the shaking of the foundations of the earth—can persuade me to forsake this solemn vow. Forever I am yours, as you are mine.

  K totally just started crying again. Those are so amazing! I love love love love the bolded. So amazing!!! 

  

  Report1 Reply
• Sugargirl1019 member

  

  February 2015 edited February 2015

  All of these vows are so good and making me cry!
  
  Novella, we wrote our own vows but gave each other a frame to work on. We wanted short vows (seriously it does take a while to actually say what you need to say/read, don't go overboard), so we decided on "7 sentences, most beginning with 'I promise'". First line would be a declaration, and the last line would be this personal charge to us. Two lines would be our own individual personal thoughts, marked by astericks in mine.
  
  It was a secret but we still were confident that we wouldn't be too different in style!
  
  Mine:
  
  
  I, Sugargirl, choose you, Sugarman, to be my spouse, my friend, my only love.
  
  I promise in covenant to be a godly and faithful wife, exemplifying Christ's love for us by accepting you as you are with all of your strengths and faults.
  
  I will remain yours in plenty and in want in sickness and in health, in failure and in triumph.
  
  *I promise to participate in our relationship, even when it might be hard.
  
  *I promise that when we fight, I will fight for our marriage and not against it.
  
  I will cherish, comfort, and encourage you, be open with you, and stay by your side as long as I live.
  
  When we stumble in these efforts, we will restore each other by embracing our challenges; together and with the Lord, we will emerge stronger than before.
  
  (Then the minister said:)
  
  Do you vow all of this to him, knowing that none of it can be fulfilled through your own strength, but only through the strength, grace, and love God provides you?
  
  I do.

        
  

  Report6 Reply
• novella1186 member

  

  February 2015

  Thanks for the examples and advice, ladies! I'm feeling much better about the writing part. Now I have to practice not crying so hard I can't talk lol 

  

  Report0 Reply
• Inkdancer member

  

  February 2015

  novella1186 said:

  Thanks for the examples and advice, ladies! I'm feeling much better about the writing part. Now I have to practice not crying so hard I can't talk lol 

  Can't help you there. I sobbed straight through mine. All the pictures are gross because I was trying not to cry and made my face all red.

  

  

  Report1 Reply
• rockin30ish member

  

  February 2015

  Inkdancer said:

  novella1186 said:

  Thanks for the examples and advice, ladies! I'm feeling much better about the writing part. Now I have to practice not crying so hard I can't talk lol 

  Can't help you there. I sobbed straight through mine. All the pictures are gross because I was trying not to cry and made my face all red.

  I'm absolutely expecting this with mine. I think my "try not to cry" face is much uglier than my cry face.

  

  
  

  
  

  Report1 Reply
• cupcait927 member

  

  February 2015

  novella1186 said:

  Thanks for the examples and advice, ladies! I'm feeling much better about the writing part. Now I have to practice not crying so hard I can't talk lol 

  
  I failed miserably at not crying. H got about halfway through his vows and I was an ugly crying mess. He gets done, I pull myself together, start reading mine and the tears started again. Took me a minute or two to get it together again so I could finish.

  Report1 Reply