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Father Daughter Dance Dilemma

xheathernicolexheathernicole member
First Anniversary
in Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum
Hi Ladies,

So, my father and I have never been close, and I am honestly DREADING the father daughter dance (and no it isn't an option to skip it). I would like to dance with my godfather at some point, but would it be faux pas to have my godfather cut in halfway through the father daughter dance? As much as my father and I do not get along, I don't want to offend him and am not sure how to work this out in a proper way.
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Re: Father Daughter Dance Dilemma

  • emmaaaemmaaa mod
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    There is an always an option to skip it. If you don't want to skip it, that is YOUR choice and YOU must deal with the consequences.

    My dad (even though we are very close) did not come to our wedding. I danced with my brothers.

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  • MairePoppyMairePoppy mod
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its

    IF you're goal is to not offend your father, then having someone cut it might not be the way to go. You could ask your DJ or musicians to play a very short version of your song. Those spotlight dances are too long, especially if you're just swaying back and forth for the duration.

                       
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  • huskypuppy14huskypuppy14 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    edited February 2015
    xheathernicole said:
    Hi Ladies,

    So, my father and I have never been close, and I am honestly DREADING the father daughter dance (and no it isn't an option to skip it). I would like to dance with my godfather at some point, but would it be faux pas to have my godfather cut in halfway through the father daughter dance? As much as my father and I do not get along, I don't want to offend him and am not sure how to work this out in a proper way.
    Why isn't it an option? You're an adult, right? Therefore you can make your own decisions. You don't have to do any of the traditional wedding things if you don't want to. It will be pretty easy to skip it if your FH doesn't dance with his mother either. 


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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its First Comment
    I think it would be better to dance with your Godfather later unless he was a part of your upbringing and it is well known at least with your family. Else people are going to wonder why is this guy cutting in on the father/daughter dance.
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  • KahlylaKahlyla member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    I would skip it as a spotlight dance, and simply make a point of dancing with both or either of them at some later point in the party.
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  • princessleia22princessleia22 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment First Answer
    I had a father-daughter dance, but we didn't have it as a solo spotlight dance.  If all your guests are also on the dance floor, it may not seem as offensive or odd to switch from father to godfather during the dance.

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  • kellyem2kellyem2 member
    5 Love Its First Comment First Anniversary
    Probably the most polite thing to do would be to tell your DJ to keep your father/daughter dance short (maybe pick a song and have them fade it out after a certain point) and then after that have a dance with your godfather. You could make this another spotlight dance, or just include him in some other moment that feels right.

    A lot of brides choose to have more than one father/daughter dance for a variety of reasons. People probably won't think too much of it, especially if they're aware of your relationship with your dad.
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  • southernbelle0915southernbelle0915 mod
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    xheathernicole said:
    Hi Ladies,

    So, my father and I have never been close, and I am honestly DREADING the father daughter dance (and no it isn't an option to skip it). I would like to dance with my godfather at some point, but would it be faux pas to have my godfather cut in halfway through the father daughter dance? As much as my father and I do not get along, I don't want to offend him and am not sure how to work this out in a proper way.
    Why not? 

    You are an adult. Stand up for yourself! If you aren't comfortable doing this, don't do it. 'No' is not a four letter word. 
    *********************************************************************************

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  • levioosalevioosa member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Boundaries are your friend, OP. 

    I second Southernbelle.  No is not a four letter word.


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  • Knottie72792636Knottie72792636 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    Just request the father-daughter song to be shorter. After that you can dance with your godfather, even though you are not close to your father don't miss this opportunity. Be the bigger person :).
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  • sophhabobophasophhabobopha member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    Knottie72792636 said:
    Just request the father-daughter song to be shorter. After that you can dance with your godfather, even though you are not close to your father don't miss this opportunity. Be the bigger person :).
    But why?
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  • mrscomposermrscomposer member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    sophhabobopha said:
    Knottie72792636 said:
    Just request the father-daughter song to be shorter. After that you can dance with your godfather, even though you are not close to your father don't miss this opportunity. Be the bigger person :).
    But why?


    Indeed.  But why?  If you're honestly DREADING it, then there is absolutely no reason why you should do it.

    One of my BFFs got married when we were young, and she had yet to grow a backbone (she STILL has yet to grow a backbone, in some ways).  The vast majority of their wedding was people putting pressure on them to do things a certain way.

    Now, almost ten years later - ALL they remember is the things people pressured them to do.  They have hardly any joyful memories of their wedding.  It was a hassle that they just needed to get through.

    Don't be my BFF.  If you don't want to have a spotlight dance with your dad, don't have a spotlight dance with your dad.  I would say, though, that you shouldn't have a spotlight dance with your godfather, either.  Just dance with him sometime during the night when there are other people on the dance floor.

    **The OMH formerly known as jsangel1018**
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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    5 Love Its First Comment
    My dad didn't raise me, but we get along. He's just never been that good at staying out of trouble, and in some situations he acts like he might as well be my age or younger. He's more like a friend than a dad. I was raised by my grandpa, but since I was really little I could hardly stand being around him. I was thinking maybe sometime when everyone else is dancing, I'd go dance with dad for a while. Aside from with my fiancé, I don't much want spotlights anyway. But really what you do is up to you. Of course if you can't find it in yourself to not do the father daughter dance, that's your choice. But it's your wedding, and you should enjoy it the way you see fit.
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  • Lusitano8Lusitano8 member
    First Comment First Anniversary
    You could have your godfather cut in and dance with you and maybe have someone dance with your father. It wouldn't just be the two of you in the spotlight but you could ask some other family members to join as a special dance. Or you can have your DJ cut it short and mix in a new song for your godfather, and then do that dance. 
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