Nontraditional Relationship Status: Not yet engaged ...but there's a ring... Sort of

lilacck28 · January 2015

emmerly said:

Hi all.

Sorry for the slow response. (As previously stated- I'm in grad school. I'm usually swamped with projects and research.)

As for the showing of the ring. He pulls it out in front of me to show guest in our home as well as brought it to work with him to show all of his co workers. He only showed my parents because he wanted to appease my old fashion parents by asking for their permission to propose.

I enjoy hearing how much others love our choice in the ring but a different part of me is a little sad that the ring will be old new by the time its officially on my finger. Also, he has said he wants to propose if I'm not expecting it in that moment so for him to pull it out all the time mean I think about the upcoming proposal frequently.

I do believe part of the misconception about our relationship status most likely does deal with the fact he shows off the ring frequently.

& to those of you who asked if he had a ring yet - No. He hasn't looked too much at them yet because we expect to have a long engagement (~2 years) due to my being in grad school so we have time to shop for his still.

If you only loved it when he pulled it out... then I'd say it was totally fine, even if it would annoy me. But since you don't... Definitely talk to him about these feelings! It's not fair to you, and yes, showing off the ring frequently before he proposes WILL (most likely) make it "old news" when you do get engaged.

ETA: "old news" does not mean that the engagement is any less meaningful/ exciting though! It just means that friends/ family maybe won't do the happy dance quite as enthusiastically with you.

Swazzle · January 2015

dvdplayer said:

My guy aren't very traditional. We met in 2009. Moved in together. Broke up March 2010. I moved out. I got sick and moved back in in June 2010. We then dated for a month in 2012. Broke up and started dating again in March 2014.

He has given me a promise ring. I have shown everyone my ring and told them that it means we are getting married soon, but truth be told.
IT'S MY RELATIONSHIP AND I DON"T HAVE TO EXPLAIN ANYTHING.

Just looked through your post history. You're..... interesting.

ETA: After reading your post in the GTKY thread, I'm quite horrified that you teach English to children. My god.

loves2shop4shoes · January 2015

@emmerly, you definitely should talk to your BF and tell him how it makes you feel every time he pulls out the engagement ring. My guess is that he's so excited that he just wants to tell everyone and show everyone the ring, which is sweet. Just remind him that if the ring comes out all the time, and everyone has seen it before you're engaged, then showing people the ring sort of loses its excitement once you do become engaged.

aliwis000 · January 2015

As many others have said, you do not have to explain your relationship status to anyone. If you and your partner do not identify as engaged then you are not.

I would say though it seems odd that he is showing the ring off as much as he is. Like others have said "dangling the carrot". I am sure it is just excitement but it comes off as immaturity to me.

As long as you are not surprised/hurt that people are not all that excited once you actually are engaged it really does not matter.

dvdplayer · January 2015

I love him and that's all that matters. He's the best thing that ever happened to me.

dvdplayer · January 2015

What is that supposed to mean?

dvdplayer · January 2015

What is that supposed to mean? Seriously, you are rude!

[Deleted User] · January 2015

dvdplayer said:

I love him and that's all that matters. He's the best thing that ever happened to me.

ok.

dvdplayer said:

What is that supposed to mean?

?????

dvdplayer said:

What is that supposed to mean? Seriously, you are rude!

Who are you responding to? Quoting helps.

lilacck28 · January 2015

@dvdplayer

1. Don't hit "reply", hit "quote" and then respond to it.
2. Calm down dude... you sound bonkers! We don't know you, and you're writing really dramatically.

Swazzle · January 2015

lilacck28 said:

@dvdplayer

1. Don't hit "reply", hit "quote" and then respond to it.
2. Calm down dude... you sound bonkers! We don't know you, and you're writing really dramatically.

Take a look at her post history. It gets even better. She GBCKed over on the Reception Ideas board.

lilacck28 · January 2015

@swazzle

MUD? Oh man. it has to be! Who thinks no heat is an okay idea? I went to school in southern Maine. It gets cold in the fall!

ETA: I read more posts. I'll say it again. Bonkers.

GoldenPenguin · January 2015

nicemarmot · February 2015

First let me say: I love your ring!

Not sure I would be happy with him showing it to so many people... I think in my case, I want to be the one showing it off.

My boyfriend and I have been together for 6 months (known each other for longer, we actually work together and have for a while). We booked a night on a very posh hotel in London for July 25th, our first anniversary. He already told me he will be proposing that day and asked me if I want him to go down on one knee or not (personally, I'm not bothered, whatever he's comfortable with is OK with me). He told me he wants me to pick my ring, and in May we are going to Vienna, where a good friend of mine owns a jewellery shop. She will design the ring for us (she doesn't know yet).

I think the time between having my finger measured and discussing/designing the ring with my friend, and the actual engagement will be a very strange situation! But these are happy times, it's good to have things like these to look forward to :-)

So enjoy this time. You will think fondly about it one day.

Nontraditional Relationship Status: Not yet engaged ...but there's a ring... Sort of

Re: Nontraditional Relationship Status: Not yet engaged ...but there's a ring... Sort of

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