Wedding Invitations & Paper

Question about addressing a certain couple

So this seems like a silly question, but I've been reading the etiquette of properly addressing invitations for so long that my eyes are crossed and I just want to make sure all my t's are crossed and i's are dotted (literally, too). 

One of our good couple friends are a married couple who live separately, he is based in GA with the air force and she is here in NC (works with my FI). He is deploying next month and won't be here for our May wedding (sad face, but so thankful for him and the other military doing what they do for us...) Anyway, we've talked about the wedding with them, he's expressed regrets that he won't be there, knows he'd be invited otherwise, etc. so...when I address the invitation do I address it to "Mr. and Mrs. John Jones" at the wife's address here close to us? Do I address it to just her at her address? Do I send them each one separately at their own addresses? 

Also I want to tell her she can bring another of her friends to the wedding with her if she wants, since the group of friends that we hang out with that they're a part of is all couples and I don't want her to feel like a 3rd wheel or that she doesn't have anyone to dance with, should I address the inner envelope to Mr. John Jones, Mrs. Jane Jones, and guest? Or just tell her she can bring someone else in place of her husband?

Re: Question about addressing a certain couple

  • You should address it to both of them at the NC address. Even though you know he's not coming, he's obviously invited if anything changes for any reason. 

    If you find out closer to the wedding that her H for sure can't go and you want to let her bring a friend, I'd just let her know via word of mouth.

    Also, I don't know what rank he is in the military, but you should address him properly. For example, my grandpa in-law is a retired Colonel. We addressed their invite "Colonel and Mrs. John Smith"
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  • You should address it to both of them at the NC address. Even though you know he's not coming, he's obviously invited if anything changes for any reason. 

    If you find out closer to the wedding that her H for sure can't go and you want to let her bring a friend, I'd just let her know via word of mouth.

    Also, I don't know what rank he is in the military, but you should address him properly. For example, my grandpa in-law is a retired Colonel. We addressed their invite "Colonel and Mrs. John Smith"

    SIB

    Thanks! That was my first instinct, so I'll just address it to them both at her address. And you're right about addressing him properly, I knew that! I just have to find out his rank.
  • edited February 2015
    So this seems like a silly question, but I've been reading the etiquette of properly addressing invitations for so long that my eyes are crossed and I just want to make sure all my t's are crossed and i's are dotted (literally, too). 

    One of our good couple friends are a married couple who live separately, he is based in GA with the air force and she is here in NC (works with my FI). He is deploying next month and won't be here for our May wedding (sad face, but so thankful for him and the other military doing what they do for us...) Anyway, we've talked about the wedding with them, he's expressed regrets that he won't be there, knows he'd be invited otherwise, etc. so...when I address the invitation do I address it to "Mr. and Mrs. John Jones" at the wife's address here close to us? Do I address it to just her at her address? Do I send them each one separately at their own addresses? 

    Also I want to tell her she can bring another of her friends to the wedding with her if she wants, since the group of friends that we hang out with that they're a part of is all couples and I don't want her to feel like a 3rd wheel or that she doesn't have anyone to dance with, should I address the inner envelope to Mr. John Jones, Mrs. Jane Jones, and guest? Or just tell her she can bring someone else in place of her husband?
    I would address it to "(Rank) and Mrs John Jones" at her address, and then include a small handwritten note in the invitation saying that if her H can't make it, she's welcome to bring another guest if she would like.

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  • manateehuggermanateehugger member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited February 2015

    My H and I are pretty much this - living in separate state sdue to military unfortunateness and he is deploying later this year.

    Most people contact us to ask for an address, and we usually we give mine because H is awful at RSVPing and leaves for field training all the time. Hosts almost always address invitations to both of us - as I personally believe they should because we are still a social unit regardless of our separation. Three of our groomsmen were deployed during our wedding, and we let their wives know they were welcome to bring other guests if they wanted.

    Please ask his preference about the rank. My H HATES being addressed by his rank in social settings - it's work to him, not his identity. We get tons of invitations from other military couples; I can only think of once where we were, "Captain and Mrs. ManateeHugger" instead of just "Mr. and Mrs. ManateeHugger" - that invite was from a third generation West Pointer getting married at West Point's chapel.  

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