Followup WWYD - Bridesmaid budgets

charcoalandblush · February 2015

So as a followup to my previous post (clicky) - the TL;DR version is, What would you do if you were having trouble meeting your bridesmaids beauty budget?

I've been searching high and low for a reputable, experienced hair and makeup artist for my wedding. I would prefer to have the stylist come to us, the MOH and I have booked a large suite the night before and we'll all be getting ready there. I want airbrush foundation and false lashes. My mom and DF's mom also want hair and makeup.

I also asked my bridesmaids if they wanted hair and makeup. I made it clear that it's totally optional. Only one wants makeup, but most of them want their hair done. I also asked their budgets. Makeup bridesmaid doesn't have one, 3 of the girls said they'd be willing to pay $70-80 for hair. The problem is that the other said her budget is $50 for hair. I'm finding it nearly impossible to find a reputable, experienced hair stylist for $50 or less. The only stylist that's been close to that budget ($60 for bridesmaids) I recently decided against because of some sketchy stuff with her website and reviews (see clicky above). Everyone else seems to charge at least $70, but usually more like $80-90. At this point I've probably looked in to 2 dozen or more stylists.

What would you do? I feel like these are my options:

1. Talk to the bridesmaid about the reasonableness of her budget. I am not a fan of this option. I don't want her to feel like I'm bullying her out of getting her hair done/in to paying more than she wants.

2. Finding a student or inexperienced stylist for the bridesmaids and a more experienced and reputable stylist for myself. Also not a huge fan of this option. I don't want the bridesmaids to feel like I'm treating myself better than them, and I don't want to single out the bridesmaid with the lower budget. This would also likely mean higher costs for me and/or make it difficult to book someone at all. Most of the stylists I've looked at have a minimum number of appts that they'll book for on-site services, or will charge travel fees without a minimum number of services. I'm also worried that it would be off-putting to both stylists that I brought in someone else.

3. Start looking into salons to see if they're cheaper, and if so, build an extra hour or hour and a half into our getting-ready schedule to account for travel time. Not ideal, but we could make it work.

Are there any other options I'm not considering? For now I'm going to keep looking into other stylists, but I am not optimistic.

mrscomposer · February 2015

Would you be willing to subsidize? Find a good, mid-range stylist who will travel, and pay the difference if it's beyond what your BMs have stated their budgets are?

charcoalandblush · February 2015

mrscomposer said:

Would you be willing to subsidize? Find a good, mid-range stylist who will travel, and pay the difference if it's beyond what your BMs have stated their budgets are?

I was thinking about this with the first stylist that I was considering because it would only be $10/bridesmaid (I would want to subsidize the same amount for everyone or no one). I could probably do $20/person (it'll be up to 8 people depending on what the other women in the wedding decide to do - still waiting to hear back from some), but much more than that is pushing it. $20 for 8 people would basically be the equivalent of doubling the cost of my hair appt.

floridabride44 · February 2015

charcoalandblush said:

So as a followup to my previous post (clicky) - the TL;DR version is, What would you do if you were having trouble meeting your bridesmaids beauty budget?

I've been searching high and low for a reputable, experienced hair and makeup artist for my wedding. I would prefer to have the stylist come to us, the MOH and I have booked a large suite the night before and we'll all be getting ready there. I want airbrush foundation and false lashes. My mom and DF's mom also want hair and makeup.

I also asked my bridesmaids if they wanted hair and makeup. I made it clear that it's totally optional. Only one wants makeup, but most of them want their hair done. I also asked their budgets. Makeup bridesmaid doesn't have one, 3 of the girls said they'd be willing to pay $70-80 for hair. The problem is that the other said her budget is $50 for hair. I'm finding it nearly impossible to find a reputable, experienced hair stylist for $50 or less. The only stylist that's been close to that budget ($60 for bridesmaids) I recently decided against because of some sketchy stuff with her website and reviews (see clicky above). Everyone else seems to charge at least $70, but usually more like $80-90. At this point I've probably looked in to 2 dozen or more stylists.

What would you do? I feel like these are my options:
1. Talk to the bridesmaid about the reasonableness of her budget. I am not a fan of this option. I don't want her to feel like I'm bullying her out of getting her hair done/in to paying more than she wants.
2. Finding a student or inexperienced stylist for the bridesmaids and a more experienced and reputable stylist for myself. Also not a huge fan of this option. I don't want the bridesmaids to feel like I'm treating myself better than them, and I don't want to single out the bridesmaid with the lower budget. This would also likely mean higher costs for me and/or make it difficult to book someone at all. Most of the stylists I've looked at have a minimum number of appts that they'll book for on-site services, or will charge travel fees without a minimum number of services. I'm also worried that it would be off-putting to both stylists that I brought in someone else.
3. Start looking into salons to see if they're cheaper, and if so, build an extra hour or hour and a half into our getting-ready schedule to account for travel time. Not ideal, but we could make it work.

Are there any other options I'm not considering? For now I'm going to keep looking into other stylists, but I am not optimistic.

I would probably just let her know that finding an on-site person for her budget isn't really possible (everyone I found for on-site was $70+ as well) but she's welcome to go get her hair done on her own at a nearby salon if she finds one in her budget, and can re-join the getting ready party when she's done with her hair. That way, she can decide what's more important to her - hanging out with everyone in the getting ready room the whole day (and doing her hair herself, which you're allowing her to do) or going off on her own for an hour to get her hair done professionally within her budget.

I think it's really nice of you to consider your BM's beauty budget, but it's not really your responsibility, since they're not required to have their hair/makeup done.

I found someone that I thought was reasonable, emailed my BMs, mom, and FMIL saying "So & So Makeup/Hair Artist will be coming to our hotel the morning of the wedding. Hair is $70, airbrush makeup is $70. You are not required to do this, but if you'd like to use their services let me know what you're interested in getting done and I'll add you to the headcount for the contract" That way, they knew the cost and could decide whether they wanted it or not.

klk111415 · February 2015

Do you live near an Ulta? Their prices are really low for both hair and makeup.

charcoalandblush · February 2015

klk111415 said:

Do you live near an Ulta? Their prices are really low for both hair and makeup.

Not really

the closest one is 30 mins from our hotel/venue. So that would put us at building in 1-1.5 hours (option 3 above).

tammym1001 · February 2015

If it were me I would talk to my BM. $50 in my area is a very reasonable budget for a fancy style at a salon. I would never know what the price would be to have a stylist come to me though because I've never done that. Maybe she thought she was telling you an amount that would cover an updo and didn't realize how much extra it would be for the travel.

[Deleted User] · February 2015

First, kudos to you for asking everyone's budget and doing what you can to stick to them. I would look into option #3. The plus to going to a salon is that it is cheaper & I know for my wedding, it took less time because they booked enough stylists so that each person got in at the same time and had their own stylist. So we were done in less then an hour with everyone, with the exception of myself because I was the only one getting makeup done so I took 90 minutes. So instead of having to plan a few hours for everyone to get their hair done, we only needed 90 minutes total & then drive time to the reception hall which is where the limo was picking us up from (this way our cars would be there at the end of the reception). Even if you go that route, no reason you and MOH can't still rent the suite & everyone go there after getting their hair done & have a light lunch or snack & get dressed together. But it may also allow you to sleep in longer & have a more relaxing morning then having to deal with everyone in your suite.

charcoalandblush · February 2015

Erikan73 said:

First, kudos to you for asking everyone's budget and doing what you can to stick to them. I would look into option #3. The plus to going to a salon is that it is cheaper & I know for my wedding, it took less time because they booked enough stylists so that each person got in at the same time and had their own stylist. So we were done in less then an hour with everyone, with the exception of myself because I was the only one getting makeup done so I took 90 minutes. So instead of having to plan a few hours for everyone to get their hair done, we only needed 90 minutes total & then drive time to the reception hall which is where the limo was picking us up from (this way our cars would be there at the end of the reception). Even if you go that route, no reason you and MOH can't still rent the suite & everyone go there after getting their hair done & have a light lunch or snack & get dressed together. But it may also allow you to sleep in longer & have a more relaxing morning then having to deal with everyone in your suite.

This hadn't even occurred to me. That would save quite a bit of time. I'll definitely look in to some salon options.

charcoalandblush · February 2015

tammym1001 said:

If it were me I would talk to my BM. $50 in my area is a very reasonable budget for a fancy style at a salon. I would never know what the price would be to have a stylist come to me though because I've never done that. Maybe she thought she was telling you an amount that would cover an updo and didn't realize how much extra it would be for the travel.

I think the price difference could be at least partially regional, too. Where I grew up, I always paid $75 minimum for prom/homecoming up-dos, several times it was closer to $100. So I think the price difference is partially regional, partially for on-site services.

klk111415 · February 2015

Oh, what about just getting some nice curls, not an updo? My stylist offers a blowout option, but talk to the stylist to see if she can curl your BM hair and not do an updo, or do a very simple bun. Maybe they can be a little flexible if it's a very easy style. If you go with a bun option, your BM can provide one of those sock bun things that you can get at H&M or a drug store. I've used them on wet hair and I can make a perfect bun in just a few minutes. Really simple and shouldn't take much time at all.

charcoalandblush · February 2015

klk111415 said:

Oh, what about just getting some nice curls, not an updo? My stylist offers a blowout option, but talk to the stylist to see if she can curl your BM hair and not do an updo, or do a very simple bun. Maybe they can be a little flexible if it's a very easy style. If you go with a bun option, your BM can provide one of those sock bun things that you can get at H&M or a drug store. I've used them on wet hair and I can make a perfect bun in just a few minutes. Really simple and shouldn't take much time at all.

I think she specifically wants an up-do, but another option I guess would be to find a stylist with different prices (I've seen several that are something like like $85 for an updo or $45 for a blowout/flat iron/curl) and let her have the choice.

klk111415 · February 2015

Well, she needs to consider her budget and do what her budget will allow. I think your first step is finding a stylist that is willing to come to your location that has reasonable rates for bridesmaids. I was able to find a stylist who was willing to do bridesmaids hair and makeup for $120 (she had a deal posted on weddingwire) Make sure this stylist offers airbrush and regular makeup. Going through a salon will jack up the price, so look on the web for independent stylist. Once you find someone with decent rates, schedule a trial. Make sure you mesh well with the stylist and you like what they do. If you decide to book and the stylist is a little more than what this bridesmaid can pay, you can either see if the stylist can do a simple updo for her like a bun or twist (something that will not take much time) for a lower price. I would definitely explain the situation to the stylist and see if she is will to come down on the rate. She still wants to make $$ that day so negotiating isn't a bad idea. If that doesn't work, your options are pulling the bridesmaid aside and saying that you will pay the difference (keep in mind- you still need to tip) or you can check out local salons. I would try hard to steer away from the local salon because she's going to feel left out leaving the hotel and coming back, plus you will want to get ready with everyone there. But I would definitely try negotiating first.

[Deleted User] · February 2015

I don't think that Option 1 is appropriate. You asked her budget and she gave it to you, so I don't think you should talk about reasonableness.

Option 2 probably wouldn't work very well because, as you say, most stylists have a minimum number of appointments.

I think that Option 3 is good because, as others have said, it's not going to take as much more time as you think because you have multiple appointments at once.

In terms of subsidizing, you would have to subsidize up to the amount they have said they can spend. So, if eight said max $70, and it's actually $95 including tax and reasonable tip, then you need to subsidize $25 for those; and for the bridesmaid who said $50, then you have to give her $45. From what you said, it seems like that's not really possible with your budget.

So, I think that you should go with Option 3 and make sure that the bridesmaid with the lower budget doesn't feel pressured into getting an appointment. She may simply do her own hair and you need to be ok with that.

charcoalandblush · February 2015

crimsonsaffron said:

I don't think that Option 1 is appropriate. You asked her budget and she gave it to you, so I don't think you should talk about reasonableness.

Option 2 probably wouldn't work very well because, as you say, most stylists have a minimum number of appointments.

I think that Option 3 is good because, as others have said, it's not going to take as much more time as you think because you have multiple appointments at once.

In terms of subsidizing, you would have to subsidize up to the amount they have said they can spend. So, if eight said max $70, and it's actually $95 including tax and reasonable tip, then you need to subsidize $25 for those; and for the bridesmaid who said $50, then you have to give her $45. From what you said, it seems like that's not really possible with your budget.

So, I think that you should go with Option 3 and make sure that the bridesmaid with the lower budget doesn't feel pressured into getting an appointment. She may simply do her own hair and you need to be ok with that.

To the bolded

#1 - So option 3 sounded great at first blush, but after posting this and getting feedback/advice, I started looking into salons, and the prices aren't any different. The cheapest (well-reviewed) salon I can find within a reasonable driving distance of the venue is $74 for an updo (which is what she said she wanted). I'm going to keep looking, but the first dozen or so salons I looked into were also non-options.

#2 - I definitely wouldn't feel comfortable subsidizing different amounts for different girls. If I was going to subsidize it, I would do the same amount for everyone. So if it's $75+tip, I'll subsidize $25+tip and make it $50 for everyone. As you point out, that would be a big strain on my hair and makeup budget.

#3 - As I said in my original post, I told my girls that hair and makeup were entirely optional, and some of them chose not to do it. Which is 100% ok by me. My issue is not that she won't get her hair done. It's that I can't find anyone who will do it within her budget that I am also comfortable going with for my own hair (i.e., no recent absolute nightmare reviews on Yelp or TK, etc.).

So now I'm kind of even more at a loss for what to do, knowing that Option 3 is not as viable as I originally thought. I'm going to keep looking into more salon and on-site options and hope that something eventually works.

[Deleted User] · February 2015

I think at this point all you can do is tell the BM that you shopped around to find different options and that you can't find someone or a place that will work with the budget that she has. If she can find someone that will do an updo for her at the price she can afford, then she should go that morning & get her hair done & meet up with you when she is done. Or she needs to change from an updo to a blow out to have a cheaper price. Based on what you've told us, you've done everything you can to help out this BM that works within your budget and you're not making this mandatory, so now it's on her.

klk111415 · February 2015

Salons are going to charge way more than someone who freelances. When I saw the salon prices my jaw dropped. I hate to even recommend this but have you tried craigslist? If I knew your location I could probably try to do a search for you! If that isn't too weird you can PM me your hotel location and I would be fine trying to help you out!

If she is set on wanting an updo, I still recommend the bun donut sponge thing. Totally easy and she can do it her hair herself or with the help of another bridesmaid. See below.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZBvB0lefa7Q&feature=youtu.be

If she has a limited budget, you have to try your best to accommodate (which you are doing) or give her options that would save her the $$. She really can't be picky in this situation. She has to know her budget and if it isn't going to work she needs to figure out what she wants to do. So many options nowadays to do simple updos on your own. She will find something!

[Deleted User] · February 2015

charcoalandblush said:

To the bolded
#1 - So option 3 sounded great at first blush, but after posting this and getting feedback/advice, I started looking into salons, and the prices aren't any different. The cheapest (well-reviewed) salon I can find within a reasonable driving distance of the venue is $74 for an updo (which is what she said she wanted). I'm going to keep looking, but the first dozen or so salons I looked into were also non-options.

#2 - I definitely wouldn't feel comfortable subsidizing different amounts for different girls. If I was going to subsidize it, I would do the same amount for everyone. So if it's $75+tip, I'll subsidize $25+tip and make it $50 for everyone. As you point out, that would be a big strain on my hair and makeup budget.

#3 - As I said in my original post, I told my girls that hair and makeup were entirely optional, and some of them chose not to do it. Which is 100% ok by me. My issue is not that she won't get her hair done. It's that I can't find anyone who will do it within her budget that I am also comfortable going with for my own hair (i.e., no recent absolute nightmare reviews on Yelp or TK, etc.).

So now I'm kind of even more at a loss for what to do, knowing that Option 3 is not as viable as I originally thought. I'm going to keep looking into more salon and on-site options and hope that something eventually works.

I'm sorry - I didn't see that your concern was more that you couldn't find a place that fit her budget than her not having her hair professionally done.

I think that if you can find a salon or on-site option that you're comfortable with for yourself AND is within the budget of your BMs with the higher budget ($70-80), you could discreetly give some money to the BM with a lower budget so that she can also participate.

Alternatively, you may have to make an appointment for yourself at a salon and meet the BMs afterwards. They could each make their own appointments at other salons or do their hair themselves. I doubt that you'll be able to find an on-site stylist willing to only do your hair… That's why I say you'd go to a salon.

Good luck!

Followup WWYD - Bridesmaid budgets

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