People inviting themselves along...

Re: People inviting themselves along...

• Knottie8316910 member

  

  February 2015

  Hi,

  You shouldn't feel bad because if they were not invited then they should not be part of your wedding and if you sent your formal invites they should already know who is invited and who is not. So you do have the right to say to your mum they were never invited because it might cost you more.

  Good luck and I wish you the best

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• msuprincess04 member

  

  February 2015

  Are they invting themselves to your wedding, or simply tagging along on the trip with no intention of going to the wedding? I had a few guests bring other family and friends to our destination wedding locale. They were not invited to the wedding, and did not attend, but they did stay at the same resort and, as far as I know, enjoyed their vacation. As PP have said, if invitations have gone out, and these people did not get them, they should know they are not invited and to show up would be rude.

  "There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness." -Friedrich Nietzsche, "On Reading and Writing"

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• mcmahontobe121 member

  

  February 2015

  a couple have tried to invite themselves to the ceremony! There is another couple (friends of my aunt & uncle who are attending) who will happen to be in the same area on holiday while we are there and I feel bad saying oh they cant come to the wedding as family members are expecting them to be able too since we all just happen to be in the same country at the same time.  I find it all so awkward. 

   

  I have already said to my parents that as we (bride & groom) would be paying for after ceremony meal and, perhaps a Las Vegas Limo tour trip, more people inviting themselves along would cost us more to budget for.  However, her answer was nobody is expecting us to pay for everybodies meal and everybody will be paying for their own and covering ours.  I dont know if i am just being ridiculous and should be happy people want to come along and celebrate with us especially when we will all just happen to be on the other side of the world at the same time! 

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• princessleia22 member

  

  February 2015

  mcmahontobe121 said:

  a couple have tried to invite themselves to the ceremony! There is another couple (friends of my aunt & uncle who are attending) who will happen to be in the same area on holiday while we are there and I feel bad saying oh they cant come to the wedding as family members are expecting them to be able too since we all just happen to be in the same country at the same time.  I find it all so awkward. 

   

  I have already said to my parents that as we (bride & groom) would be paying for after ceremony meal and, perhaps a Las Vegas Limo tour trip, more people inviting themselves along would cost us more to budget for.  However, her answer was nobody is expecting us to pay for everybodies meal and everybody will be paying for their own and covering ours.  I dont know if i am just being ridiculous and should be happy people want to come along and celebrate with us especially when we will all just happen to be on the other side of the world at the same time! 

  The "after-ceremony meal" is equivalent to a reception, even if just at a restaurant.  That is meant to be your thank you to guests for attending your wedding. Many people will not be expecting to pay for their own meals. I would set your mom straight on that one and say that, although you are having a less traditional reception and only doing a dinner, that is your wedding reception and you certainly don't expect guests to pay for your reception. And therefore, costs are limited.  Plus, you really want to share your wedding day with your family and friends, not strangers or people you and FI barely know.

  My parents did have a few friends that thought about joining on the trip.  But, my mother made it clear that we were not required to invite them to the actual wedding or reception, although it would be appreciated. They ended up not able to go anyway, but we probably would have added them to the guest list if they had.  But, these are also my parents best friends who I have known most of my life, not some stranger.  If it were more distant friends, I don't think I would have invited them, because I wanted to share that day with people I love, not strangers.
  

   

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• mcmahontobe121 member

  

  February 2015

  @princessleia22  I totally agree!  Me & FI were planning on paying for the meals and some sort of entertainment after that for all of our guests (we had started off with 5 but are now up to 10...not including the ones who would want to invite themselves along).  People have surprised us by wanting to travel to USA with us for the wedding so I think its only right we pay for these things as a thank you for all the cost they have incurred to be there on the day.  Yes my mum's BF and her husband as looking to book as well - and I have no problem with them coming and being invited to the wedding, as like in your case, I have known them most of my life and consider them family

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• [Deleted User] member

  

  February 2015

  Just be honest and tell them that they more than welcome to make that a vacation destination, but unfortunately the cannot come to the wedding/reception. If they did not receive a formal invitation, they should not think that they were invited. 

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