Readings

KatieinBkln · February 2015

lolo883 said:
I've seen that Kindergarten one recommended so many times and I just can't get on board with how advice to flush the toilet belongs in a wedding. If I heard that as a guest, I would probably die from trying to contain the laughter.

I pretty much can't with anything cutesy. I don't mind when certain mannerisms we have are described as "cute," but I don't want the overriding theme of my wedding to be about childlike adorableness. I feel like marriage is for adults, and our relationship is a deeply felt, adult one.

BUT I don't want all kinds of overwrought, serious, up-its-own ass proclamations of what love is, either, so I'm hard to please.

I like your reading above, @lolo883.

novella1186 · February 2015

lolo883 said:
I've seen that Kindergarten one recommended so many times and I just can't get on board with how advice to flush the toilet belongs in a wedding. If I heard that as a guest, I would probably die from trying to contain the laughter.

Bahaha! yeah, I was trying to figure out if we could just omit that. I mean, yeah, we CAN, but since I write I feel like it's really wrong to alter someone else's work so... Maybe we'll just exclude that as an option. lol. Especially if it's recommended all the time. There's some stuff I like that I avoid only because it has become super popular and I don't like being attached to certain trends. Just my own weird thing.

This is why I love you ladies! Super helpful with decisions

pinkcow13 · February 2015

We're not having readings. Honestly, I don't really know much about them. I don't recall going to a wedding in which there have been readings. We would like the ceremony to be short, sweet, and simple pretty much.

VulgarGirl · February 2015

We did a lovely Irish Blessing:

May the road rise to meet you,
May the wind be always at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face,
The rains fall soft upon your fields.
And until we meet again,
May God hold you in the palm of his hand.

May God be with you and bless you;
May you see your children's children.
May you be poor in misfortune,
Rich in blessings,
May you know nothing but happiness
From this day forward.

May the road rise to meet you
May the wind be always at your back
May the warm rays of sun fall upon your home
And may the hand of a friend always be near.

May green be the grass you walk on,
May blue be the skies above you,
May pure be the joys that surround you,
May true be the hearts that love you.

And then uh...then we did one from Will&Grace...the tv show...don't you judge me:

"When I'm feeling like there's no love coming to me, and I have no love to give, When I'm feeling separated from the world, and cut off from myself, and annoyed by every little thing, because I'm not getting what I want, I'll remember that there's an infinite amount of love available to me. And I'll see it in you. And I'll remember that I'm complete within myself, and most of all, I'll remember that everything I really need I already have. And whatever I don't have will come to me when I'm ready to receive it."

drunkenwitch · February 2015

RosieC18 said:
I'm a secular Jew and my husband is a fairly devout mainline Protestant so we did one old testament, one new and one secular. My favorite was the secular, which is from a book - Captain Coreilli's Mandolin by Louis de Bernieres. I admit to feeling a little weird that we used a quote from a book I've never read. We really liked it in comparison to a lot of the other "love" themed readings we saw because we really wanted to emphasize that the commitment we made to one another was about more than warm feelings, but building a life together.

Love is a temporary madness, it erupts like volcanoes and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your root was so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is.

Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being in love, which any fool can do. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident.

Those that truly love have roots that grow towards each other underground, and when all t he pretty blossoms have fallen from their branches, they find that they are one tree and not two.

I love that passage. Neither BF or I are Christian but we want to have that read at our "sometime down the road" wedding.

JCbride2015 · February 2015

We are considering doing this one from Serenity:

You know what the first rule of flying is? … Love. You can learn all the math in the 'verse, but you take a boat in the air you don't love, she'll shake you off just as sure as the turning of the worlds. Love keeps her in the air when she oughta fall down, tells you she's hurting 'fore she keens. Makes her a home.

Also that famous quote from The Princess Bride about if your love is a grain of sand, mine is an ocean, but Fi only wants it if the reader can finish with "never get involved in a land war in Asia. And never go up against a Sicilian when death is on the line." I'm thinking about letting myself get talked into this.

ahyatt87 · February 2015

We agonized over our readings. We both loved Corinthians so we used that, and then we settled on this http://www.taylormali.com/poems-online/how-falling-in-love-is-like-owning-a-dog/ because it's cute and we have two beagles

and this one http://www.todays-weddings.com/planning/readings/blessing_marriage.html because it is beautiful.

huskypuppy14 · February 2015

littlemushroom said:
We had a completely non-religious ceremony because my husband is atheist. We used "Union" by Robert Fulghum (same guy who did the Kindergarten one above) as our reading.

You have known each other from the first glance of acquaintance
to this point of commitment. At some point, you decided to marry.
From that moment of yes, to this moment of yes, indeed,
you have been making commitments in an informal way.
All of those conversations that were held in a car, or over a meal,
or during long walks – all those conversations that began with,
"When we're married", and continued with "I will" and "you will" and "we will" –
all those late night talks that included "someday" and "somehow" and "maybe" –
and all those promises that are unspoken matters of the heart.
All these common things, and more, are the real process of a wedding.
The symbolic vows that you are about to make
are a way of saying to one another,
"You know all those things that we've promised, and hoped, and dreamed –
well, I meant it all, every word."
Look at one another and remember this moment in time.
Before this moment you have been many things to one another –
acquaintance, friend, companion, lover, dancing partner, even teacher,
for you have learned much from one another these past few years.
Shortly you shall say a few words that will take you across a threshold of life,
and things between you will never quite be the same.
For after today you shall say to the world –
This is my husband. This is my wife.

We did the same one.

IrishPirate60 · February 2015

Two pages in and no suggestion of Kahlil Gibran? http://www.katsandogz.com/onmarriage.html

huskypuppy14 · February 2015

IrishPirate60 said:
Two pages in and no suggestion of Kahlil Gibran? http://www.katsandogz.com/onmarriage.html

It's too religious IMO, and OP said she was having a secular wedding and looking for non religious readings.

IrishPirate60 · February 2015

@huskypuppy14 --- whoops' I forgot that part of the criteria. Nevermind!

KytchynWitche · February 2015

We also had a secular ceremony, and it was pretty tough finding readings that weren't super schmaltzy or heavy on the cute, or new age-y, or just plain bad.

We had DH's sister read from Les Miserables (I don't know where the accents are on my phone), and my sister read a short poem by Thomas Hood. It's called Song, but he apparently named half his poems that, so that doesn't narrow things down much. I really kinda wanted readings from Hitchhiker's Guide and/or Guards! Guards! but DH wouldn't go for it.

If I can get to a computer soonish, I'll add the texts here.

dolewhipper · March 2015

Fi and I chose 1 Cor 13 since we are having a religious wedding but we're doing verses 1-7 from The Message, instead of the usual Love is patient, Love is kind that is overdone IMO.

We were considering the Les Mis reading as well:

“The future belongs to hearts even more than it does to minds. Love, that is the only thing that can occupy and fill eternity. In the infinite, the inexhaustible is requisite.

Love participates of the soul itself. It is of the same nature. Like it, it is the divine spark; like it, it is incorruptible, indivisible, imperishable. It is a point of fire that exists within us, which is immortal and infinite, which nothing can confine, and which nothing can extinguish. We feel it burning even to the very marrow of our bones, and we see it beaming in the very depths of heaven…

What a grand thing it is to be loved! What a far grander thing it is to love! The heart becomes heroic, by dint of passion. It is no longer composed of anything but what is pure; it no longer rests on anything that is not elevated and great. An unworthy thought can no more germinate in it, than a nettle on a glacier. The serene and lofty soul, inaccessible to vulgar passions and emotions, dominating the clouds and the shades of this world, its follies, its lies, its hatreds, its vanities, its miseries, inhabits the blue of heaven, and no longer feels anything but profound and subterranean shocks of destiny, as the crests of mountains feel the shocks of earthquake.

If there did not exist some one who loved, the sun would become extinct.”

KytchynWitche · March 2015

dolewhipper said:
Fi and I chose 1 Cor 13 since we are having a religious wedding but we're doing verses 1-7 from The Message, instead of the usual Love is patient, Love is kind that is overdone IMO.

We were considering the Les Mis reading as well:

“The future belongs to hearts even more than it does to minds. Love, that is the only thing that can occupy and fill eternity. In the infinite, the inexhaustible is requisite.

Love participates of the soul itself. It is of the same nature. Like it, it is the divine spark; like it, it is incorruptible, indivisible, imperishable. It is a point of fire that exists within us, which is immortal and infinite, which nothing can confine, and which nothing can extinguish. We feel it burning even to the very marrow of our bones, and we see it beaming in the very depths of heaven…

What a grand thing it is to be loved! What a far grander thing it is to love! The heart becomes heroic, by dint of passion. It is no longer composed of anything but what is pure; it no longer rests on anything that is not elevated and great. An unworthy thought can no more germinate in it, than a nettle on a glacier. The serene and lofty soul, inaccessible to vulgar passions and emotions, dominating the clouds and the shades of this world, its follies, its lies, its hatreds, its vanities, its miseries, inhabits the blue of heaven, and no longer feels anything but profound and subterranean shocks of destiny, as the crests of mountains feel the shocks of earthquake.

If there did not exist some one who loved, the sun would become extinct.”

That's the Les Mis reading we used. Everyone loved it.

This was the poem - "Song", by Thomas Hood

The stars are with the voyager
Wherever he may sail;
The moon is constant to her time,
The sun will never fail;
But follow, follow round the world,
The green earth and the sea;
So love is with the lover's heart,
Wherever he may be.

Wherever he may be, the stars
Must daily lose their light;
The moon will veil her in the shade;
The sun will set at night.
The sun may set, but constant love
Will shine when he's away;
So that dull night is never night,
And day is brighter day.

anjemon · March 2015

We're doing the Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 reading too. I was surprised because that was FI's pick and he's not very religious. But I really like the sentiment.

We're also doing Shakespeare's sonnet 116, which was my pick. I love Shakespeare and it's really beautiful. Although now I'm wondering if I should put some sort of explanation in the program, because I don't want everyone to be confused. I don't know.

Shakespeare's Sonnet 116:

Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
O no; it is an ever-fixed mark,
That looks on tempests, and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wandering bark,
Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.
Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle's compass come;
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved.

thisismynickname2 · March 2015

There will likely be both Neruda and Garcia Marquez, although we have not decided what, exactly.

I find a lot of writing about love is a little...off. Lots of talk of people "completing" each other or that god-awful Wuthering Heights notion: "He’s more myself than I am. Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same… my great thought in living is himself." I don't feel that way, and I wouldn't want anyone to feel that way about me. My great thought in living is a lot of things, and "he" is ranked very highly, but the idea of unwavering, worship-like devotion is too much for me. It leaves no room for partnership or mutual respect.
I am sure I will have a hard time finding things I like, but that won't stop me from searching!

KatieinBkln I totally agree with you.

We went with Khalil Gibran's "Marriage"

You were born together, and together you shall be forevermore.

You shall be together when white wings of death scatter your days.

Aye, you shall be together even in the silent memory of God.

But let there be spaces in your togetherness,

And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.

Love one another but make not a bond of love:

Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.

Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup.

Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf.

Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone,

Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.

Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping.

For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.

And stand together, yet not too near together:

For the pillars of the temple stand apart,

And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow.

KatieinBkln · March 2015

thisismynickname said:
There will likely be both Neruda and Garcia Marquez, although we have not decided what, exactly.

I find a lot of writing about love is a little...off. Lots of talk of people "completing" each other or that god-awful Wuthering Heights notion: "He’s more myself than I am. Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same… my great thought in living is himself." I don't feel that way, and I wouldn't want anyone to feel that way about me. My great thought in living is a lot of things, and "he" is ranked very highly, but the idea of unwavering, worship-like devotion is too much for me. It leaves no room for partnership or mutual respect.
I am sure I will have a hard time finding things I like, but that won't stop me from searching!

KatieinBkln I totally agree with you.

We went with Khalil Gibran's "Marriage"

You were born together, and together you shall be forevermore.

You shall be together when white wings of death scatter your days.

Aye, you shall be together even in the silent memory of God.

But let there be spaces in your togetherness,

And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.

Love one another but make not a bond of love:

Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.

Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup.

Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf.

Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone,

Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.

Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping.

For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.

And stand together, yet not too near together:

For the pillars of the temple stand apart,

And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow.

@thisismynickname, that's beautiful!

@knotriley, it seems like I'm not getting notifications when I'm tagged (in addition to the fact that the quote boxes are cutting off people's names, but I'm not the first to notice that). Hopefully YOU get a notification that I tagged you!

novella1186 · March 2015

You ladies have some really awesome readings! We're still on the search. I'm starting to think maybe we should skip readings entirely, or just ask someone to say whatever they want lol. Nothing really seems to fit us. It's either too cute and too juvenile, or too sappy, or too serious, or too religious... and I'm too picky lol

dolewhipper · March 2015

@novella1186 Keep reading....and thinking on it. you'll find one that rings true to both your hearts

RosieC18 · March 2015

Not having readings is totally fine. If that's what you want, run with it!

But if you do decide you want a reading (or more), maybe it would help to think about what it is you want to say and then look for readings that fit that, rather than trying to look at traditional wedding readings and picking one. Are there values that you both want to bring to your marriage (service? adventure? challenging each other intellectually? creativity?), or imagery that is important to you (poetry about a favorite place, a symbol that matters to you?). They don't have to be about love or marriage. and you might find something that feels more "you" if you branch out.

novella1186 · March 2015

RosieC18 said:
Not having readings is totally fine. If that's what you want, run with it!

But if you do decide you want a reading (or more), maybe it would help to think about what it is you want to say and then look for readings that fit that, rather than trying to look at traditional wedding readings and picking one. Are there values that you both want to bring to your marriage (service? adventure? challenging each other intellectually? creativity?), or imagery that is important to you (poetry about a favorite place, a symbol that matters to you?). They don't have to be about love or marriage. and you might find something that feels more "you" if you branch out.

This is really great advice. Thank you!

KnotRiley · March 2015

Thanks for bringing these to my attention @KatieinBkln! I'll send this over to tech now.

KatieinBkln · March 2015

KnotRiley said:
Thanks for bringing these to my attention @KatieinBkln! I'll send this over to tech now.

I got the notification this time. Maybe it's an intermittent glitch.

theartistformerlyknownas · March 2015

KatieinBkln said:

KnotRiley said:
Thanks for bringing these to my attention @KatieinBkln! I'll send this over to tech now.
I got the notification this time. Maybe it's an intermittent glitch.

We talked about this before, where if people are copy/pasting in your name it doesn't work but typing it in does work. Or something.

badbnagdway · March 2015

Our ceremony will not be religious. Btw, I love the Dr. Suess quote one poster suggested. There are two readings we are planning on. One is Pablo Neruda's Sonnet XVII from One Hundred Love Sonnets. The other is from the Velveteen Rabbit. A couple years ago I was in a yoga class and the instructor did this Velveteen Rabbit reading right before shavasana. I loved loved loved the Velveteen Rabbit as a kid but hadn't heard it in years and years. It made me cry:

"What is REAL?" the Velveteen rabbit asked the Skin Horse one day. "Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?"

“Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. "It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real."

"Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit.
"Sometimes," said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. "When you are Real you don't mind being hurt."
"Does it happen all at once, like being wound up," he asked, "or bit by bit?"
"It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse. "You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand."

KatieinBkln · March 2015

badbnagdway said:
Our ceremony will not be religious. Btw, I love the Dr. Suess quote one poster suggested. There are two readings we are planning on. One is Pablo Neruda's Sonnet XVII from One Hundred Love Sonnets. The other is from the Velveteen Rabbit. A couple years ago I was in a yoga class and the instructor did this Velveteen Rabbit reading right before shavasana. I loved loved loved the Velveteen Rabbit as a kid but hadn't heard it in years and years. It made me cry:

"What is REAL?" the Velveteen rabbit asked the Skin Horse one day. "Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?"
“Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. "It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real."
"Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit.
"Sometimes," said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. "When you are Real you don't mind being hurt."
"Does it happen all at once, like being wound up," he asked, "or bit by bit?"
"It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse. "You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand."

I read the Velveteen Rabbit to my little babysitting charge the other month and I seriously choked up when I was reading that passage. I had completely forgotten what a lovely book it is, but it really is great.

Readings

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Love is a temporary madness, it erupts like volcanoes and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your root was so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is.

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