Wedding 911

Walk down the isle alone? SO CONFLICTED!

To be blunt both of my parents are dead beats, I really don't have a relationship with either one. They are attending the wedding but I don't feel that they deserve the privilege of walking me down the isle. I was tossed back in forth between my grandparents who all played a roll in raising me. I don't want to hurt any of their feelings by just choosing one to walk me down the others. Plus they don't really like each other. I thought of having my sister walk me down the isle. Or my nephew who is 4 and I helped raise. But my sister is not married yet, and will be getting married shortly after me and I don't want to over step any boundaries or take away any special moments from her by having him walk me. Should I walk alone? Should I have my sister walk me? Should I have my nephew walk me? Or should I have my fiance meet me half way and walk together?

Re: Walk down the isle alone? SO CONFLICTED!

  • To be blunt both of my parents are dead beats, I really don't have a relationship with either one. They are attending the wedding but I don't feel that they deserve the privilege of walking me down the isle. I was tossed back in forth between my grandparents who all played a roll in raising me. I don't want to hurt any of their feelings by just choosing one to walk me down the others. Plus they don't really like each other. I thought of having my sister walk me down the isle. Or my nephew who is 4 and I helped raise. But my sister is not married yet, and will be getting married shortly after me and I don't want to over step any boundaries or take away any special moments from her by having him walk me. Should I walk alone? Should I have my sister walk me? Should I have my nephew walk me? Or should I have my fiance meet me half way and walk together?
    You can do whatever you want, honestly. But you definitely don't have to walk with someone you don't like or can't behave themselves. If you want your nephew to walk you, that doesn't take away from him walking your sister down the aisle as well. Everybody gets ONE day. What happens on your day doesn't affect the outcome of what happens on someone else's day. 

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  • You can walk alone. Or have both your sister and nephew walk down with you. Or maybe you can walk the whole way with your FI. 
    Oh man. This is suggested in Catholic weddings because the couple should be coming together out of their own free will to enter into this thing called marriage. The reason we didn't is because FI wanted the "other end of the aisle" moment and I didn't want to hurt my dad's feelings because my dad is great. If you have the opportunity to come in with your FI, I'd take advantage of it.
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    Every time some asks about walking down the isle I think, boy that's going to be a long walk.

    OP, I have bad anxiety and it was particularly bad before the ceremony. Walking down that aisle to my soon-to-be husband while all these people were looking at me was, well, terrifying. I was so glad to have my dad's arm to cling to.

    Who would you want to cling to? Your FI? Your sister? An uncle or something? Or you can always hold your head high and walk down the aisle by yourself.



    Anniversary
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  • I would vote either walking in with your Fiance (and schedule "first look" photos for sure!) or with your sister. 

    When I had to walk into the ceremony space I felt like a deer in the headlights. I'm very glad I had someone escorting me and for all my "independent woman" behavior on a normal basis, that walk was not something I wanted to do alone. 
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  • Fiance and I are walking the whole way together.  I'm not "going" to him, he's not "coming" to me.  We're taking our final steps as an engaged couple together and we'll take our first steps as a married couple together.

    Ultimately, do what you would feel most comfortable with.  Traditional things that mean nothing to you don't have to be followed, unless they're a breach of etiquette. 

    Before we agreed to walk together my fiance was like, "why does the bride get a special song to come down the aisle to?"  I said, "you want a special song of your own?  Go for it."  Just because it's not traditional doesn't mean it automatically can't be done.
  • How many grandparents do you have? If you want them to walk you, but they don't like each other, they can deal with it for one day or even say no, if they're really that much against the others. I also think having your sister walk you down the aisle, or your sister and nephew together, is a great option. If you're okay with your FI escorting you, that is also a sweet option.

    I feel lucky, to be honest, because my choice wasn't that hard. I am getting my grandma to walk me, but she is the only living grandmother between my FI and me, so there is no worry of other grandparents being jealous (pretty sure my grandfather will understand and if he did actually have an issue, I would be fine with having him join us). 
    Some traditions are made to be broken if they don't fit the individual couple! 
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