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Sorry for the Vent...

CajunBride102817CajunBride102817 member
5 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper First Comment
in Wedding Woes
Has anyone else felt unsupported in the planning process? I mean FH puts his opinion in on some things (the things he cares about and he's quick to tell me when he doesn't like something) and I'm fine with that. Just every time I bring up something about the wedding to my mom she just brushes it off, rolls her eyes and changes the subject. When my step dad is around it's even worse. He'll start lecturing me and telling me to quit rushing…FH and I will have been together 4 years come the wedding and engaged for 2. I don't think that's rushing. Then, he'll start telling me how he's not paying for anything until I have my degree (Going for my BSN). FH and I never once asked them to help. Yet, this man still expects to give me away along with my biological dad (who has offered to help). We have pushed our date back once already to suit my mom and step dad and I really don't want to do it AGAIN. Every time I show my mom a dress and talk about dress shopping, she rolls her eyes. Her answer is "I don't want to talk about that right now". I'm just bummed bc my mom is like my Best Friend yet I don't even feel that smallest bit of support from her and damn sure don't feel it from my step dad. Any words of advice? Sorry for the vent ladies just having a hard time right now :(   
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Re: Sorry for the Vent...

  • MollyandDMollyandD member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    edited March 2015
    That would make me sad too, but you should take their not so subtle hints and stop talking about it to them.

    As far as step-dad walking you down the aisle, that's totally your choice. You can have your dad walk you alone, you can have your dad walk you with your step-dad, or you can walk down alone. That's a personal choice, and wedding help aside, is completely up to you. I had my dad walk me down. I NEVER considered having my mom's husband walk me. He married my mom when I was 20, and he and I don't mesh well, to say the least. Your situation is different, but it's your decision.
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  • karinaesco24karinaesco24 member
    First Comment Name Dropper First Anniversary
    I definitely have had a similar situation with my mom. For a while she would do the same things: roll her eyes, change the subject when it came to wedding planning, etc. I would always bring up wedding details with her. After a few months I couldn't take it anymore and asked her directly why she was being so dismissive about my wedding. She was pretty shocked at first (I'm not the type of person to get in someone's face like that), but then revealed to me that she didn't really know what to say or how to help me in terms of wedding planning and was embarrassed about it. She had had a small wedding ceremony in the Philippines and had no clue how to plan a wedding here in the US. Since then, things have definitely improved

    For me, a really direct approach worked surprisingly. Maybe you can sit down and talk with your mother. She also may be able to tell you why your step-dad is acting the way he is. Good luck with everything! :)
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  • HeffalumpHeffalump member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    Honestly, if you and FI are paying for this wedding, I would stop talking to your mom and stepdad about it and plan whatever works best for you and your FI (no more pushing your date back to try to please other people).  It would be great if they weren't so negative, but since they are, the best thing you can do is not give them the opportunity to rain on your parade.
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  • MesmrEweMesmrEwe member
    First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    Heffalump said:

    Honestly, if you and FI are paying for this wedding, I would stop talking to your mom and stepdad about it and plan whatever works best for you and your FI (no more pushing your date back to try to please other people).  It would be great if they weren't so negative, but since they are, the best thing you can do is not give them the opportunity to rain on your parade.



    This!!  It's what you've got the boards for to AW when necessary!  I know it's not the same as IRL, but still...

    Also, no more postponing for other people's convenience!

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  • CajunBride102817CajunBride102817 member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper First Comment
    Thank you ladies for your answers. I guess the easiest thing for me to do is to just not talk to them about it anymore. I just hope my mom comes around at least a little before August or September bc that's when I want to go dress shopping. If not, FH's mom, my grandmother and MOH will be more than happy to join me. I just really want her there for that and idk what I would do if she wasn't. Thank you for the encouragement! 
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  • *Barbie**Barbie* member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    If you're so early in the planning process that you're not even shopping for dresses for another 5 or so months, you're probably just annoying your mom talking about something that's so far off. (Remember, nobody is excited about the wedding as you and your FI.) I'd honestly limit the wedding talk for now. 

    When you're a few  weeks out from dress shopping, give your mom a call, invite her to go dress shopping with you ("I'd love to have your opinion on dresses, and maybe we could get lunch/dinner/drinks afterwards - my treat.") and see what her schedule looks like. 
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