Wedding Etiquette Forum

invite to wedding only

Is it rude to invite someone to the ceremony and not reception. I dont have a lot of room at the reception. But the church does have a lot of seating. ??

Re: invite to wedding only

  • Yes, it's super rude, don't do it!
  • Extremely rude.  It's called a tiered wedding or tiered reception and is probably one of the worst etiquette blunders out there.

    It's basically saying "You're good enough to come to the church and in all likelihood bring me a gift even though it's not required because let's face it most people give gifts, but you're not good enough for me to receive you properly afterwards and spend money to feed you."

    Your options are:
    1) Find a new reception venue to accommodate everyone, or
    2) Learn to be okay with the fact that most of the church will be empty due to your small guest list.
  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited March 2015
    It's very rude. The reception is a thank-you to your guests for taking the time, energy, and resources out of their lives to get dressed up, travel to your ceremony, and perhaps give you a gift. To not provide any hospitality to them after the ceremony is to indicate a lack of concern for them as well as to take them for granted. And inviting some guests, but not all, to the reception is even ruder. Do. Not. Do. This.
  • Yes, it's super rude.  This happened to me as a third-grader (teacher invited her whole class to the church but not the reception) and even then I felt really hurt by it.  My mom explained that receptions are expensive as if that was supposed to make me feel better.

    Either invite a smaller group to the entire thing, or find a different reception venue which can handle the total size you'd like to invite.  Each guest must be invited to the entire wedding.
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    "I'm not a rude bitch.  I'm ten rude bitches in a large coat."

  • novella1186novella1186 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited March 2015
    Put yourself in the guests' place. How would you feel if you only got to go to the ceremony, but most of the other people there also got invited to the reception, and they were all talking about it and excited to go party with the bride and groom, while you were heading home. 

    You'd probably feel hurt and left out. And you'd probably realize that the bride and groom didn't think you were as important as their other guests. 
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  • Yes, it's very rude!
  • Rude and greedy.

  • I think PPs covered it.

    There are also plenty of larger open spaces in which you can hold your reception if you are looking for somewhere that can better accommodate a larger group: parks, city rec centers, even some restaurants (perk, then you don't have to pay a rental for tables/chairs/serving ware/etc).

  • You invite them to the reception or you don't invite them at all. The end.
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  • Incredibly rude. 


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