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Bride Requiring Bridal Party & Family To Help Clean Up After Wedding

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Re: Bride Requiring Bridal Party & Family To Help Clean Up After Wedding

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    lyndausvilyndausvi mod
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    whovianstark said:

    huskypuppy14 said:

    whovianstark said:

    MnHGirl said:

    The venue we booked requires that our items (gifts, cp, flowers, etc) are removed by 1:30 AM but the venue staff will be doing the other cleaning. The venue is also doing most of the decorating so that will also big a big help. 


    We have asked some family to help but I would never demand someone to do it especially the bridal party. We expect the dance to finish around 11:15-11:30 (that is late for me!) and we will have an enclosed trailer at the venue that our items can be shoved into and stored locked overnight. 
    Honestly, I bet you know some teenagers that you weren't going to invite but would be happy to help if you paid them. When I was a teenager I would have loved that.
    I wouldn't trust some random people with my wedding gifts though. Our venue was awesome and packed everything and put it in the van my parents rented for the weekend. My husband or my dad took our card box, I think, because we had that in our hotel room that night. I think I carried a couple things when the venue manager told me they would take care of it, and to go to greet my guests at the after party. 

    I did help my sister and her husband with her gifts at their wedding. They had a lot of boxed gifts. After that, I will never bring a boxed gift to a wedding (I usually give a card with money anyway). It was a lot of work. 
    Oh good point! I wouldn't trust anyone with my gifts. I just meant like centerpieces and stuff that is no longer that important to me.
    Where are you going to find teenagers to show up at 11:30 a night to help more CP, flowers, gifts and other random stuff?   Clean up of that stuff takes only a few minutes, not hours.

    My family and friends help us gather that kind of stuff too.  We were the last shuttle.  Whoever was left just pitched in while waiting for the trolley to come back.   We didn't ask, then just did.   

    I've helped at other weddings too.  Never asked, seemed weird not to help when you see bride grabbing CP and putting them in a pile.  This took very little time.

    Now if you want my clearing tables of dishes and glasses.  Stripping linens?  Breaking down tables.  Yeah, no.  That is real work that takes a long time.   






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
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    whovianstarkwhovianstark member
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    lyndausvi said:

    whovianstark said:

    huskypuppy14 said:

    whovianstark said:

    MnHGirl said:

    The venue we booked requires that our items (gifts, cp, flowers, etc) are removed by 1:30 AM but the venue staff will be doing the other cleaning. The venue is also doing most of the decorating so that will also big a big help. 


    We have asked some family to help but I would never demand someone to do it especially the bridal party. We expect the dance to finish around 11:15-11:30 (that is late for me!) and we will have an enclosed trailer at the venue that our items can be shoved into and stored locked overnight. 
    Honestly, I bet you know some teenagers that you weren't going to invite but would be happy to help if you paid them. When I was a teenager I would have loved that.
    I wouldn't trust some random people with my wedding gifts though. Our venue was awesome and packed everything and put it in the van my parents rented for the weekend. My husband or my dad took our card box, I think, because we had that in our hotel room that night. I think I carried a couple things when the venue manager told me they would take care of it, and to go to greet my guests at the after party. 

    I did help my sister and her husband with her gifts at their wedding. They had a lot of boxed gifts. After that, I will never bring a boxed gift to a wedding (I usually give a card with money anyway). It was a lot of work. 
    Oh good point! I wouldn't trust anyone with my gifts. I just meant like centerpieces and stuff that is no longer that important to me.
    Where are you going to find teenagers to show up at 11:30 a night to help more CP, flowers, gifts and other random stuff?   Clean up of that stuff takes only a few minutes, not hours.

    My family and friends help us gather that kind of stuff too.  We were the last shuttle.  Whoever was left just pitched in while waiting for the trolley to come back.   We didn't ask, then just did.   

    I've helped at other weddings too.  Never asked, seemed weird not to help when you see bride grabbing CP and putting them in a pile.  This took very little time.

    Now if you want my clearing tables of dishes and glasses.  Stripping linens?  Breaking down tables.  Yeah, no.  That is real work that takes a long time.   
    I guess I didn't think about it too much because I'm sure someone will help us grab the gifts but my venue is handling everything else. I would just rather hire someone than ask people to stay after the wedding when they have already been there all day and I doubt even I would want to clean up after my own wedding.
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    whovianstarkwhovianstark member
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    Actually I thought of an example. My coworker has two responsible, hard working teenage boys. If my wedding weren't OOT and I needed the cleanup help just to gather up the decorations not scrub floors or anything. I would offer them $100 each. It should only take them an hour to gather everything, they can have leftover cake and boom they just made $100 for an hours work. Yes, that sounds expensive but compared to the cost of everything else in my wedding it would be a minimal cost and I just helped two kids save for college. And then I don't have to ask guest to stay until the end of my wedding or stay sober enough to be able to help.
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    lyndausvilyndausvi mod
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    whovianstark said:

    Actually I thought of an example. My coworker has two responsible, hard working teenage boys. If my wedding weren't OOT and I needed the cleanup help just to gather up the decorations not scrub floors or anything. I would offer them $100 each. It should only take them an hour to gather everything, they can have leftover cake and boom they just made $100 for an hours work. Yes, that sounds expensive but compared to the cost of everything else in my wedding it would be a minimal cost and I just helped two kids save for college. And then I don't have to ask guest to stay until the end of my wedding or stay sober enough to be able to help.

    I like  money as much as the next person.  Showing up for an hour's worth of work at 11:30 pm would not happen.    If I was a parent of a teenager in HS I would not even allow them to show up for work at that hour.   

    Now if you are taking about an afternoon wedding.  Sure.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
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    OwningAHome1981OwningAHome1981 member
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    huskypuppy14 said:

    OwningAHome1981 said:

    whovianstark said:

    MnHGirl said:

    The venue we booked requires that our items (gifts, cp, flowers, etc) are removed by 1:30 AM but the venue staff will be doing the other cleaning. The venue is also doing most of the decorating so that will also big a big help. 


    We have asked some family to help but I would never demand someone to do it especially the bridal party. We expect the dance to finish around 11:15-11:30 (that is late for me!) and we will have an enclosed trailer at the venue that our items can be shoved into and stored locked overnight. 
    Honestly, I bet you know some teenagers that you weren't going to invite but would be happy to help if you paid them. When I was a teenager I would have loved that.
    I wouldn't trust some random people with my wedding gifts though. Our venue was awesome and packed everything and put it in the van my parents rented for the weekend. My husband or my dad took our card box, I think, because we had that in our hotel room that night. I think I carried a couple things when the venue manager told me they would take care of it, and to go to greet my guests at the after party. 

    I did help my sister and her husband with her gifts at their wedding. They had a lot of boxed gifts. After that, I will never bring a boxed gift to a wedding (I usually give a card with money anyway). It was a lot of work. 
    See the thing is here it is only cash gifts mostly so all the shit we'd be packing up is their own personal shit, which the venue should help with. It's wrong of this couple whether it's a lot of things or not.
    Yeah, no. Take care of your own shit. Where are they going immediately after the wedding? 

    "Home to enjoy their lives together"
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
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    drunkenwitchdrunkenwitch member
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    OwningAHome1981 said:

    huskypuppy14 said:

    OwningAHome1981 said:

    whovianstark said:

    MnHGirl said:

    The venue we booked requires that our items (gifts, cp, flowers, etc) are removed by 1:30 AM but the venue staff will be doing the other cleaning. The venue is also doing most of the decorating so that will also big a big help. 


    We have asked some family to help but I would never demand someone to do it especially the bridal party. We expect the dance to finish around 11:15-11:30 (that is late for me!) and we will have an enclosed trailer at the venue that our items can be shoved into and stored locked overnight. 
    Honestly, I bet you know some teenagers that you weren't going to invite but would be happy to help if you paid them. When I was a teenager I would have loved that.
    I wouldn't trust some random people with my wedding gifts though. Our venue was awesome and packed everything and put it in the van my parents rented for the weekend. My husband or my dad took our card box, I think, because we had that in our hotel room that night. I think I carried a couple things when the venue manager told me they would take care of it, and to go to greet my guests at the after party. 

    I did help my sister and her husband with her gifts at their wedding. They had a lot of boxed gifts. After that, I will never bring a boxed gift to a wedding (I usually give a card with money anyway). It was a lot of work. 
    See the thing is here it is only cash gifts mostly so all the shit we'd be packing up is their own personal shit, which the venue should help with. It's wrong of this couple whether it's a lot of things or not.
    Yeah, no. Take care of your own shit. Where are they going immediately after the wedding? 
    "Home to enjoy their lives together"

    Part of married life is learnung to compromise when it comes to household chores. Tell them a great way to start their lives together is learning just that and taking care of their own shit.

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    monkeysipmonkeysip member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    Our venue was a restaurant, so they did most of the clean-up.  The only thing that needed to be done was to gather the table runners we brought, the guestbook, and all the vases with flowers.  I should mention we only had *7* tables at our wedding, so there really wasn't much to get.

    We were going to do it, but my sister and H's mom & sisters insisted upon getting it and letting us leave first.  I wouldn't have even asked, let alone DEMAND them to do that.  UGH.

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    aphrodite0869aphrodite0869 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment

    My venue requires that we clean everything.  I ASKED my family and friends to help but didn't demand.  If they said no, they I would be leaving after clean up and just turn around and come back after the "big send off" pictures.  I have a lot of family and friends who have a 2 or more hour drive after the wedding also, and I would never ask those people to clean unless they asked me. 


    Why won't you talk to your bride and explain that you have a long drive and will be unable to help with take up but maybe you could help with set up or something.  Don't ruin a friendship over a Bridezilla action.  Planning a wedding is stressful and you never know what was told to her about clean up and now she doesn't know what to do.

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    flantasticflantastic member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    aphrodite0869 said:

    My venue requires that we clean everything.  I ASKED my family and friends to help but didn't demand.  If they said no, they I would be leaving after clean up and just turn around and come back after the "big send off" pictures.  I have a lot of family and friends who have a 2 or more hour drive after the wedding also, and I would never ask those people to clean unless they asked me. 


    Why won't you talk to your bride and explain that you have a long drive and will be unable to help with take up but maybe you could help with set up or something.  Don't ruin a friendship over a Bridezilla action.  Planning a wedding is stressful and you never know what was told to her about clean up and now she doesn't know what to do.



    You shouldn't have asked. It was your responsibility. Now if you had mentioned that the venue needed you to clean up and were figuring out logistics for that, and then family offered, that would have been okay.

    OP doesn't have to offer to do work to replace the work she shouldn't have been told to do in the first place. If that ruins the friendship, I don't think she needs this girl in her life.

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    KatWAGKatWAG member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    aphrodite0869 said:

    My venue requires that we clean everything.  I ASKED my family and friends to help but didn't demand.  If they said no, they I would be leaving after clean up and just turn around and come back after the "big send off" pictures.  I have a lot of family and friends who have a 2 or more hour drive after the wedding also, and I would never ask those people to clean unless they asked me. 


    Why won't you talk to your bride and explain that you have a long drive and will be unable to help with take up but maybe you could help with set up or something.  Don't ruin a friendship over a Bridezilla action.  Planning a wedding is stressful and you never know what was told to her about clean up and now she doesn't know what to do.



    You should not have asked because then people feel obligated.

    Hire someone or you and your H do it after your pictures.

    BabyFruit Ticker
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