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Large wedding, small reception?

Knottie61578916Knottie61578916 member
in Wedding Vows & Ceremony Discussions
What my fiancé and I are facing is that our church for our ceremony is very very large. 400 people looks less than half full. While the reception space we decided on holds around 100 people maybe a few more. We are having trouble with this and wondered if it would be rude to invite people to the ceremony and have a small reception. One option we thought of was that we could have an informal party a few months later for those that weren't able to attend the reception. Opinions please?
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Re: Large wedding, small reception?

  • KatWAGKatWAG member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited April 2015
    Knottie61578916 said:

    What my fiancé and I are facing is that our church for our ceremony is very very large. 400 people looks less than half full. While the reception space we decided on holds around 100 people maybe a few more. We are having trouble with this and wondered if it would be rude to invite people to the ceremony and have a small reception. One option we thought of was that we could have an informal party a few months later for those that weren't able to attend the reception. Opinions please?



    This would be horribly rude.

    A wedding is one event. However is invited o the ceremony must be invited to the reception. Since your reception space can hold 100 people, that is the max number of people you an invite.

    And why do you care if the church looks empty? You are not required to fill every pew. And if you really want to invite 400 people, find a new reception space.

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  • ashley8918ashley8918 member
    First Comment First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its
    image

    Do not even consider doing this, please.
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  • chibiyuichibiyui member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    There is nothing hard about this. Whoever is invited to the wedding must be invited to the reception. If your reception venue holds less than your ceremony venue, you invite the number of guests your reception venue can hold.

    But I think this is mud.
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  • mikenbergermikenberger member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Knottie61578916 said:

    What my fiancé and I are facing is that our church for our ceremony is very very large. 400 people looks less than half full. While the reception space we decided on holds around 100 people maybe a few more. We are having trouble with this and wondered if it would be rude to invite people to the ceremony and have a small reception. One option we thought of was that we could have an informal party a few months later for those that weren't able to attend the reception. Opinions please?

    Hire some movie extras. Spring for the ridiculously good looking ones and line the aisle with them so your pictures have nothing but pretty people in them.

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  • ShesSoColdShesSoCold mod
    First Answer First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its
    mikenberger said:

    Knottie61578916 said:

    What my fiancé and I are facing is that our church for our ceremony is very very large. 400 people looks less than half full. While the reception space we decided on holds around 100 people maybe a few more. We are having trouble with this and wondered if it would be rude to invite people to the ceremony and have a small reception. One option we thought of was that we could have an informal party a few months later for those that weren't able to attend the reception. Opinions please?

    Hire some movie extras. Spring for the ridiculously good looking ones and line the aisle with them so your pictures have nothing but pretty people in them.
    See I'd go for the ugliest ones I could find. Can't have anyone looking better than me!
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  • southernbelle0915southernbelle0915 mod
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    Anyone invited to the ceremony should be invited to the reception. The reception is where you thank people for attending the ceremony and host them. So it's super rude to only thank/host some people and not others. Or to host some guests one way and some guests a "better" way. 

    If your church holds 800+ people, you're never going to have it look full or even close to full anyway. As long as the people you love are there, who cares? If you'd rather see a sea of strangers, get married on a public beach.
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  • artbyallieartbyallie mod
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Because you chose a smallish reception space, you have predetermined your own guest list. 100 people. Pare down your list or find a new venue.
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  • levioosalevioosa member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    So what if the "church doesn't look full?"  That is seriously one of the most ridiculous reasons ever for trying to justify inviting a ton of people to the ceremony and not the reception (which, as PPs have stated, is horrifically rude). 


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  • climbingsingleclimbingsingle member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    No! This is so rude! Anyone invited to the ceremony needs to be invited to the reception too. And not some party months later. How would you feel if someone did that to you?
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  • tojaitojai member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    I think you worded it very kindly, but there's a big difference between guests who "weren't able to attend the reception" and guests who were deliberately excluded because they were just there to make the church look full. 

    I don't think the size of the church should be a big problem.  Everyone will just fill up toward the front and it will be fine. 
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  • hellohkbhellohkb mod
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    tojai said:

    I think you worded it very kindly, but there's a big difference between guests who "weren't able to attend the reception" and guests who were deliberately excluded because they were just there to make the church look full. 

    I don't think the size of the church should be a big problem.  Everyone will just fill up toward the front and it will be fine. 

    Exactly, this isn't a big deal at all. It will just make it look like an intimate, private event- Which it is!


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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its First Comment
    Don't worry about the size of your guest list to the size of the church. You won't even realize it as you walk down the isle as your eyes will be focused on your groom. Also during the whole ceremony, you'll be focused on him. Your photographer may get one or two shots that show your guests in their seats, but the majority of the photos will be of you and your wedding party & not of your guests at the ceremony. Think of it this way, most of your guests will get isle seats to see you coming down the isle and they can easily move around in their pews to get the best view in case they end up with someone tall in front of them. So everyone will get a great view of the ceremony.
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  • fitveganfitvegan member
    5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper First Anniversary
    The size of the guest list is ALWAYS determined by how many you want/can afford at the reception. And if people aren't invited to the reception, they aren't going to come to your wedding.
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