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A Wedding Party for "Destination" wedding vs "Home" Reception

JackieH2016JackieH2016 member
First Anniversary
in Destination Weddings Discussions

I know there is no “right” or “wrong” way to do any wedding
but I am curious to what other people think. My finance and I are getting
married next year in Jamaica. We have a wedding party of 6, however we have two
sisters and a brother who are unable to attend. Could I have them as bridesmaid/groomsman
also, would just at the reception, parties, etc. pretty much everything except
the actual wedding? We will be taking most of our wedding photos at the
reception anyways because we are not having any children go with us. What do
you think?

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Re: A Wedding Party for "Destination" wedding vs "Home" Reception

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    Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited April 2015
    A wedding party should only be for the actual wedding, not the marriage celebration party.

    You can certainly take pictures at your party, but they will not be your wedding photos.  Those photos will be the ones taken in Jamaica when you get married.

    ETA:  JIC

    JackieH2016 said:

    I know there is no “right” or “wrong” way to do any wedding
    but I am curious to what other people think. My finance and I are getting
    married next year in Jamaica. We have a wedding party of 6, however we have two
    sisters and a brother who are unable to attend. Could I have them as bridesmaid/groomsman
    also, would just at the reception, parties, etc. pretty much everything except
    the actual wedding? We will be taking most of our wedding photos at the
    reception anyways because we are not having any children go with us. What do
    you think?



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    kaos16kaos16 member
    First Answer First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    JackieH2016 said:

    I know there is no “right” or “wrong” way to do any wedding
    but I am curious to what other people think. My finance and I are getting
    married next year in Jamaica. We have a wedding party of 6, however we have two
    sisters and a brother who are unable to attend. Could I have them as bridesmaid/groomsman
    also, would just at the reception, parties, etc. pretty much everything except
    the actual wedding? We will be taking most of our wedding photos at the
    reception anyways because we are not having any children go with us. What do
    you think?

    Maybe your terminology is what is confusing me, but let me answer how it is coming across to me.  The wedding in Jamaica is your wedding.  Any pre-wedding parties would happen before that event.  The people you invite to those parties must be invited to Jamaica.  It doesn't seem to make sense to ask your sisters and brother to be in the wedding party because they will be missing the wedding.  Once you are declared married in Jamaica and sign your paperwork, you are married. . . .you are no longer a bride, you are a wife.  If you choose to have a party when you return (what you are calling an at home reception) is separate from the wedding.  You MUST properly host those who come to see you in Jamaica with a reception there, even if it is just cake and punch.

    Your at home reception is more of a "hey, sorry you couldn't get to Jamaica, come party with us now that we are married."  That's all well and good, but there are no vows, no parties beforehand, no bridal party, etc.  Some ladies here don't think a wedding dress should even be worn at this event (i'm not as bothered by that).

    Any wedding photos you want to take should be taken at your wedding.  Photos taken at the at home reception are just photos taken at a party.  It's perfectly fine to take family photos and photos with the children when everyone is dressed up at a party. . . .but those aren't wedding photos.
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    msuprincess04msuprincess04 member
    5 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper First Comment
    I'm confused. Your reception is immediately after the wedding, so if they aren't going to the wedding, it doesn't sound like they will be at the reception. If you are having a post-wedding party, then there'd be nothing wedding-realted for them to do, because at that point their role as wedding attendants would be over since the wedding is over. You can ask them to be attendants even if they aren't going, but I'm not sue I see the point.
    "There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness." -Friedrich Nietzsche, "On Reading and Writing"
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    southernbelle0915southernbelle0915 mod
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    You wedding party's role is to stand up with you while you get married. If that's in Jamaica, then they'll stand up with you on the beach. The actual wedding is also where you'd take wedding photos. That's your wedding day so it only makes sense.

    Immediately after your actual wedding, you'll host people to thank them for attending your wedding ceremony. Especially since people are going all the way to Jamaica. That's your reception.

    It sounds like you're also having a party when you come home. That's just a party, so it doesn't make any sense to have attendants or "wedding" photos. KWIM?
    *********************************************************************************

    image
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    CMGragainCMGragain member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited April 2015
    JackieH2016 said:

    I know there is no “right” or “wrong” way to do any wedding
    but I am curious to what other people think. My finance and I are getting
    married next year in Jamaica. We have a wedding party of 6, however we have two
    sisters and a brother who are unable to attend. Could I have them as bridesmaid/groomsman
    also, would just at the reception, parties, etc. pretty much everything except
    the actual wedding? We will be taking most of our wedding photos at the
    reception anyways because we are not having any children go with us. What do
    you think?

    What?  Where did you hear that?  There certainly are rules for having a wedding!  Just read a book of Wedding Etiquette and you will learn this.

    Wedding = two single people who desire to be married, marriage license, officiant, witnesses.

    Bridesmaids and groomsmen:  (optional) these are the people who stand up with you while you say your wedding vows during your wedding ceremony.  Fancy dress is not required.  Once the ceremony is over, you cannot add wanna-be attendants.

    Reception = Newly married couple and hosts greet the guests (if there are any) and thank them for coming to the ceremony.  The guests are offered food and drink.  This must be held on the wedding day.

    At home reception = married couple invites friends and family for a party to celebrate their marriage.  Food and drink is served, and wedding pictures are shared. 
    This event is NOT a part of the wedding.  If you dress up in your wedding clothes and try to recreate any part of your wedding day, it becomes rude and gift grabby.  ("I'm sorry you weren't invited to our REAL wedding, so this is a consolation prize party.")  Ugh!
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
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    saric83saric83 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    CMGragain said:

    JackieH2016 said:


    At home reception = married couple invites friends and family for a party to celebrate their marriage.  Food and drink is served, and wedding pictures are shared. 
    This event is NOT a part of the wedding.  If you dress up in your wedding clothes and try to recreate any part of your wedding day, it becomes rude and gift grabby.  ("I'm sorry you weren't invited to our REAL wedding, so this is a consolation prize party.")  Ugh!
    I'm not personally a fan of the AHR, but each one I've been invited to is one where I was invited to the wedding as well.  
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    Jells2dot0Jells2dot0 mod
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited April 2015
    saric83 said:

    JackieH2016 said:


    At home reception = married couple invites friends and family for a party to celebrate their marriage.  Food and drink is served, and wedding pictures are shared. 
    This event is NOT a part of the wedding.  If you dress up in your wedding clothes and try to recreate any part of your wedding day, it becomes rude and gift grabby.  ("I'm sorry you weren't invited to our REAL wedding, so this is a consolation prize party.")  Ugh!


    I'm not personally a fan of the AHR, but each one I've been invited to is one where I was invited to the wedding as well.      
    saric83 said:

    SIB

    saric83 said:

    AHRs are for the people who were invited to the DW but could not attend. So, @saric83's AHRs were within etiquette. I am personally not a fan either. If you wanted those people to be at your reception so badly, then you should have had a traditional wedding closer to home. But, what @CMGragain mentioned is considered to be super rude. 

     







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