Wedding Reception Forum
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Is it Acceptable to Forgo the Dance?

Lane2910Lane2910 member
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edited April 2015 in Wedding Reception Forum
My fiance and I are trying to save money and not go into more debt from our wedding this summer ( we have to think about getting student loans paid back soon!) We are getting married at the church we go to together and are going to have a small afternoon reception in the church social hall. We are having a variety of desserts and iced tea/lemonade. Also the reception isn't going to be that long, just enough time for people to eat, mingle, and participate in some other small things we have planned. There is not enough space down there to hold a dance, and plus my fiance and I don't want to worry about dancing in front of everyone. We knew that the space would be too small, and I am glad we aren't having one because I have so much on my plate right now that one more aspect of planning would be too much. My only concern is that people will be disappointed. A lot of my family and friends really love to dance, and I feel like that's one part of a wedding they look forward to most. I have just been obsessing over disappointing my guests who are going to show up thinking they are going to dance. (There are also some people who look forward to open bar) 
Is it acceptable for me to just have a simple, summertime wedding that is laid back? I feel guilty for not putting on a dance for people, but that would've required us to rent a new venue and a DJ which would've cost a lot more. 

I should admit that I am a people pleaser. We do have other things planned to keep the guests busy. 

Re: Is it Acceptable to Forgo the Dance?

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    Dancing is not required.
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    Lane2910 said:

    My fiance and I are trying to save money and not go into more debt from our wedding this summer ( we have to think about getting student loans paid back soon!) We are getting married at the church we go to together and are going to have a small afternoon reception in the church social hall. We are having a variety of desserts and iced tea/lemonade. Also the reception isn't going to be that long, just enough time for people to eat, mingle, and participate in some other small things we have planned. There is not enough space down there to hold a dance, and plus my fiance and I don't want to worry about dancing in front of everyone. We knew that the space would be too small, and I am glad we aren't having one because I have so much on my plate right now that one more aspect of planning would be too much. My only concern is that people will be disappointed. A lot of my family and friends really love to dance, and I feel like that's one part of a wedding they look forward to most. I have just been obsessing over disappointing my guests who are going to show up thinking they are going to dance. (There are also some people who look forward to open bar) 

    Is it acceptable for me to just have a simple, summertime wedding that is laid back? I feel guilty for not putting on a dance for people, but that would've required us to rent a new venue and a DJ which would've cost a lot more. 

    I should admit that I am a people pleaser. We do have other things planned to keep the guests busy. 
    You plans sound really nice. 

    H and I didn't have a dance floor or DJ at our wedding. Everyone ate, drank and hung out for a few hours. It was exactly what we wanted and no one seemed upset that there wasn't any dancing. 

    Honestly I think trying to get a dance party vibe in a church hall in the afternoon with no alcohol would be kind of odd. I'd think most people would just be chatting. 

    What do you mean by "other things planned to keep guests busy"? 
    Image result for someecard betting someone half your shit youll love them forever
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    ElcaBElcaB member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    I love dancing at weddings, but I wouldn't be inclined to bust a move at an afternoon church wedding. 

    Regardless of the time & setting, dancing is totally up to you. If you & FI aren't comfortable, skip it! 
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    Did you say what time your ceremony is? Just make sure the reception isn't happening during meal time.
    BabyFruit Ticker
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    Yes, you can forgo the dance.  However, you can't forgo the meal if you're having your wedding over a meal time.  If you're having your wedding at 2 and it will be done by 5, then you're fine only serving lemonade and cake.  But much earlier or any later and you have to serve real food.  And don't make up things to do to keep your guests busy.  You don't need to invent games; just let them talk and eat then get up and leave.
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    Ceremony starts at 2, will go for about 30 minutes or so. Reception should be wrapping up around 4. So everything should be done by meal time.
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    Lane2910 said:

    Ceremony starts at 2, will go for about 30 minutes or so. Reception should be wrapping up around 4. So everything should be done by meal time.

    In that case you're fine to forgo the dance, and you're fine to only serve cake and lemonade.  I'd probably have an iPod with speakers or something else on at a low volume; like Frank Sinatra and Michael Buble.  Something so it's not just sounds of sipping and chewing and people who want to talk don't feel like if they do everyone in the whole room will hear them since it's so quiet.
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    Since you're not doing everything at a meal time, everything you have planned sounds lovely. Dancing is not required. 


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