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Daughter wants to call fiance dad

My 6 year old asked me yesterday if she can call my fiance dad. Her biological father is still in her life but only on an every other weekend basis. No contact between and she has already stopped asking to call him before bed because in a year he has answered the phone one time and doesn't return calls. For awhile I still had her call but it upset her to tears when he didnt pick up... cue a pissed off momma. Anyways, would it be more confusing for her to call him dad at her age though? I've told her that doesn't mean that J*** isn't her dad anymore and fiance will be her step dad. After we told her we were getting married the first thing she asked is when she would get a baby brother or sister. He's okay with being called dad, her father I haven't gotten to talk to. So who's had to deal with this already?
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Re: Daughter wants to call fiance dad

  • My 6 year old asked me yesterday if she can call my fiance dad. Her biological father is still in her life but only on an every other weekend basis. No contact between and she has already stopped asking to call him before bed because in a year he has answered the phone one time and doesn't return calls. For awhile I still had her call but it upset her to tears when he didnt pick up... cue a pissed off momma. Anyways, would it be more confusing for her to call him dad at her age though? I've told her that doesn't mean that J*** isn't her dad anymore and fiance will be her step dad. After we told her we were getting married the first thing she asked is when she would get a baby brother or sister. He's okay with being called dad, her father I haven't gotten to talk to. So who's had to deal with this already?

    Why shouldn't she call him dad? I honestly don't get the issue here.
  • I think it's fine for her to call him that if that's what she wants. Kids, I think, tend to look for a sense of normalcy and stable adults they can connect to. Let her connect. 

    (And I'm not a child psychologist, or parent, or any kind of authority on this. This is just my gut reaction) 
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  • I think it's fine for her to call him that if that's what she wants. Kids, I think, tend to look for a sense of normalcy and stable adults they can connect to. Let her connect. 


    (And I'm not a child psychologist, or parent, or any kind of authority on this. This is just my gut reaction) 
    Agreed. I think it's a sign she feels comfortable with him, not a sign that she's looking to replace her biological father. I wouldn't freak out or tell her "You already have a dad." She's six, not dumb.
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  • If your FI is cool with it, and she wants to call him Dad, I don't see why she can't.  Being a sperm donor doesn't make you a dad.  If he's more of a dad to her then her bio dad is, I think it's awesome that they have bonded so well. 


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  • I agree with PPs here. I think she obviously feels connected to him and if she wants to call him dad, there's nothing wrong with it. 
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  • This is between her and him. If they're both cool with it, I think it's great. 

    Father is biology, but Dad is a title. It sounds like your FI has earned it.

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  • My 6 year old asked me yesterday if she can call my fiance dad. Her biological father is still in her life but only on an every other weekend basis. No contact between and she has already stopped asking to call him before bed because in a year he has answered the phone one time and doesn't return calls. For awhile I still had her call but it upset her to tears when he didnt pick up... cue a pissed off momma. Anyways, would it be more confusing for her to call him dad at her age though? I've told her that doesn't mean that J*** isn't her dad anymore and fiance will be her step dad. After we told her we were getting married the first thing she asked is when she would get a baby brother or sister. He's okay with being called dad, her father I haven't gotten to talk to. So who's had to deal with this already?

    Why shouldn't she call him dad? I honestly don't get the issue here.



    Some people are psycho lunatics. When my brother divorced and started dating his now-wife, his 2 year old called her mommy. Ex-wife found out and LOST her fucking shit saying that he was not allowed to call her mommy, and she's the only mom, and she doesn't want the kid to get confused as to who his "real" mom is.

    I think that's pretty ridiculous, and that the kid should be able to call the parent whatever the heck they want. It's really up to you and your family- her dad doesn't sound very in the picture so I wouldn't really care about his opinion on the matter at all.

                                                                     

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  • jenna8984 said:

    My 6 year old asked me yesterday if she can call my fiance dad. Her biological father is still in her life but only on an every other weekend basis. No contact between and she has already stopped asking to call him before bed because in a year he has answered the phone one time and doesn't return calls. For awhile I still had her call but it upset her to tears when he didnt pick up... cue a pissed off momma. Anyways, would it be more confusing for her to call him dad at her age though? I've told her that doesn't mean that J*** isn't her dad anymore and fiance will be her step dad. After we told her we were getting married the first thing she asked is when she would get a baby brother or sister. He's okay with being called dad, her father I haven't gotten to talk to. So who's had to deal with this already?

    Why shouldn't she call him dad? I honestly don't get the issue here.



    Some people are psycho lunatics. When my brother divorced and started dating his now-wife, his 2 year old called her mommy. Ex-wife found out and LOST her fucking shit saying that he was not allowed to call her mommy, and she's the only mom, and she doesn't want the kid to get confused as to who his "real" mom is.

    I think that's pretty ridiculous, and that the kid should be able to call the parent whatever the heck they want. It's really up to you and your family- her dad doesn't sound very in the picture so I wouldn't really care about his opinion on the matter at all.

    Okay, but even if her bio-dad was in the picture, it doesn't really matter. This is between her and OP's FI.
  • This is between her and him. If they're both cool with it, I think it's great. 


    Father is biology, but Dad is a title. It sounds like your FI has earned it.
    So much this. You don't have to be related to have someone be a dad to you. 
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  • I am in the same kind of situation with my daughter and my fiance. Her bio dad is not in the picture. After we had been together for over a year my kiddo asked him ( fiance ) if she could call him dad. It was a very personal decision between them and i stayed out of it. The only involvment i had was to support her and let her know that i was ok with her decision.
  • Honestly, that's between her and your FI. He, after all, will most likely be the father figure in her life, providing that her bio father isn't around. 

    Mom and Dad isn't who donated the DNA, it's who raises you as a parent.
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  • Were you married to her bio dad ever?  If you were, you might want to check the divorce papers.  I know with my ex, in his divorce papers it explicitly said that their kids couldn't call anyone else "mom" or "dad" or anything like that.

    If not though, I dont' see a problem with it as long as both of them want it!
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  • jenna8984 said:

    My 6 year old asked me yesterday if she can call my fiance dad. Her biological father is still in her life but only on an every other weekend basis. No contact between and she has already stopped asking to call him before bed because in a year he has answered the phone one time and doesn't return calls. For awhile I still had her call but it upset her to tears when he didnt pick up... cue a pissed off momma. Anyways, would it be more confusing for her to call him dad at her age though? I've told her that doesn't mean that J*** isn't her dad anymore and fiance will be her step dad. After we told her we were getting married the first thing she asked is when she would get a baby brother or sister. He's okay with being called dad, her father I haven't gotten to talk to. So who's had to deal with this already?

    Why shouldn't she call him dad? I honestly don't get the issue here.



    Some people are psycho lunatics. When my brother divorced and started dating his now-wife, his 2 year old called her mommy. Ex-wife found out and LOST her fucking shit saying that he was not allowed to call her mommy, and she's the only mom, and she doesn't want the kid to get confused as to who his "real" mom is.

    I think that's pretty ridiculous, and that the kid should be able to call the parent whatever the heck they want. It's really up to you and your family- her dad doesn't sound very in the picture so I wouldn't really care about his opinion on the matter at all.


    Yeah I worry bout her bio going psycho about it and causing a shitload of trouble. At one point he told her not to tell mommy about his new friend whom she met the day after we split because I would get very mad. We were driving home and said that's where the girl lived by accident then started bawling because she wasn't supposed to tell and kept asking if I was mad. I didn't react other than to say I wasn't mad and it was okay for daddy to have new friends. Later I brought it up to him that if she was going to meet new girlfriends make sure they were gonna stay in the picture first... a week later they stopped seeing each other and my daughter still asks what happened to the girl and if she die. Her uncle passed away 6 months before that so she went through a stage of not seeing people for a few days she thought it was because they were dead. I was told to mind my own f***king business and that he could do whatever he wanted.
  • Were you married to her bio dad ever?  If you were, you might want to check the divorce papers.  I know with my ex, in his divorce papers it explicitly said that their kids couldn't call anyone else "mom" or "dad" or anything like that.


    If not though, I dont' see a problem with it as long as both of them want it!
    What! That's crazy!


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  • Were you married to her bio dad ever?  If you were, you might want to check the divorce papers.  I know with my ex, in his divorce papers it explicitly said that their kids couldn't call anyone else "mom" or "dad" or anything like that.


    If not though, I dont' see a problem with it as long as both of them want it!
    Wow, really? That is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard. I am positive that it is not standard or common.
  • jenna8984 said:

    My 6 year old asked me yesterday if she can call my fiance dad. Her biological father is still in her life but only on an every other weekend basis. No contact between and she has already stopped asking to call him before bed because in a year he has answered the phone one time and doesn't return calls. For awhile I still had her call but it upset her to tears when he didnt pick up... cue a pissed off momma. Anyways, would it be more confusing for her to call him dad at her age though? I've told her that doesn't mean that J*** isn't her dad anymore and fiance will be her step dad. After we told her we were getting married the first thing she asked is when she would get a baby brother or sister. He's okay with being called dad, her father I haven't gotten to talk to. So who's had to deal with this already?

    Why shouldn't she call him dad? I honestly don't get the issue here.



    Some people are psycho lunatics. When my brother divorced and started dating his now-wife, his 2 year old called her mommy. Ex-wife found out and LOST her fucking shit saying that he was not allowed to call her mommy, and she's the only mom, and she doesn't want the kid to get confused as to who his "real" mom is.

    I think that's pretty ridiculous, and that the kid should be able to call the parent whatever the heck they want. It's really up to you and your family- her dad doesn't sound very in the picture so I wouldn't really care about his opinion on the matter at all.


    Yeah I worry bout her bio going psycho about it and causing a shitload of trouble. At one point he told her not to tell mommy about his new friend whom she met the day after we split because I would get very mad. We were driving home and said that's where the girl lived by accident then started bawling because she wasn't supposed to tell and kept asking if I was mad. I didn't react other than to say I wasn't mad and it was okay for daddy to have new friends. Later I brought it up to him that if she was going to meet new girlfriends make sure they were gonna stay in the picture first... a week later they stopped seeing each other and my daughter still asks what happened to the girl and if she die. Her uncle passed away 6 months before that so she went through a stage of not seeing people for a few days she thought it was because they were dead. I was told to mind my own f***king business and that he could do whatever he wanted.
    I actually have to agree with him. The bolded is not your business, and it is not your place. I understand why you would WANT this, but you don't get to make these kind of demands.
  • jenna8984 said:

    My 6 year old asked me yesterday if she can call my fiance dad. Her biological father is still in her life but only on an every other weekend basis. No contact between and she has already stopped asking to call him before bed because in a year he has answered the phone one time and doesn't return calls. For awhile I still had her call but it upset her to tears when he didnt pick up... cue a pissed off momma. Anyways, would it be more confusing for her to call him dad at her age though? I've told her that doesn't mean that J*** isn't her dad anymore and fiance will be her step dad. After we told her we were getting married the first thing she asked is when she would get a baby brother or sister. He's okay with being called dad, her father I haven't gotten to talk to. So who's had to deal with this already?

    Why shouldn't she call him dad? I honestly don't get the issue here.



    Some people are psycho lunatics. When my brother divorced and started dating his now-wife, his 2 year old called her mommy. Ex-wife found out and LOST her fucking shit saying that he was not allowed to call her mommy, and she's the only mom, and she doesn't want the kid to get confused as to who his "real" mom is.

    I think that's pretty ridiculous, and that the kid should be able to call the parent whatever the heck they want. It's really up to you and your family- her dad doesn't sound very in the picture so I wouldn't really care about his opinion on the matter at all.


    Yeah I worry bout her bio going psycho about it and causing a shitload of trouble. At one point he told her not to tell mommy about his new friend whom she met the day after we split because I would get very mad. We were driving home and said that's where the girl lived by accident then started bawling because she wasn't supposed to tell and kept asking if I was mad. I didn't react other than to say I wasn't mad and it was okay for daddy to have new friends. Later I brought it up to him that if she was going to meet new girlfriends make sure they were gonna stay in the picture first... a week later they stopped seeing each other and my daughter still asks what happened to the girl and if she die. Her uncle passed away 6 months before that so she went through a stage of not seeing people for a few days she thought it was because they were dead. I was told to mind my own f***king business and that he could do whatever he wanted.
    Yeah....fuck him.  The title of Dad is a right, not a given.  He hasn't remotely acted like a parent. 


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  • I agree with PP's that this is about the relationship your daughter and your FI have and if they are okay with it then it is a non-issue. My cousin from my mother's side came to live with my family when we were both in high school and my dad became a dad to her, she calls him dad to this day and she has a biological father with whom she has a relationship with, he pops into her life sporadically.
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  • actually in the state of NJ where they were divorced, it was standard in divorce papers when you have kids and both parents are actively involved.  The kids had nicknames for both me and their step-dad that wasn't "mom" or "dad" based and it was fine with everyone.  They also co-parented well and it wasn't an issue but just something to keep in mind if the OP was divorced that this might be in the papers.
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  • actually in the state of NJ where they were divorced, it was standard in divorce papers when you have kids and both parents are actively involved.  The kids had nicknames for both me and their step-dad that wasn't "mom" or "dad" based and it was fine with everyone.  They also co-parented well and it wasn't an issue but just something to keep in mind if the OP was divorced that this might be in the papers.

    We were never married just together for 15 years... stupidity on my part for sure. But ya live and learn.
  • actually in the state of NJ where they were divorced, it was standard in divorce papers when you have kids and both parents are actively involved.  The kids had nicknames for both me and their step-dad that wasn't "mom" or "dad" based and it was fine with everyone.  They also co-parented well and it wasn't an issue but just something to keep in mind if the OP was divorced that this might be in the papers.

    Eesh. Well in that case, New Jersey is ridiculous.
  • I think it's fine. My sister divorced her kids' dad and married another. They call him dad and because their biological father is absent the majority of the time they call him daddy John* when they refer to him.
    My "dad" is my step father. He raised me. I have no recollection of my bio dad. He was in my parents Rolodex as "asshole" and I only associate him as a sperm donor. When I was being introduced at a new school my dad was taking me around and he introduced himself as my step father. I corrected him and said "no, this is my dad". He may be an asshole sometimes, but his bark is bigger than his bite and he was there for me growing up.
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  • jenna8984 said:

    My 6 year old asked me yesterday if she can call my fiance dad. Her biological father is still in her life but only on an every other weekend basis. No contact between and she has already stopped asking to call him before bed because in a year he has answered the phone one time and doesn't return calls. For awhile I still had her call but it upset her to tears when he didnt pick up... cue a pissed off momma. Anyways, would it be more confusing for her to call him dad at her age though? I've told her that doesn't mean that J*** isn't her dad anymore and fiance will be her step dad. After we told her we were getting married the first thing she asked is when she would get a baby brother or sister. He's okay with being called dad, her father I haven't gotten to talk to. So who's had to deal with this already?

    Why shouldn't she call him dad? I honestly don't get the issue here.



    Some people are psycho lunatics. When my brother divorced and started dating his now-wife, his 2 year old called her mommy. Ex-wife found out and LOST her fucking shit saying that he was not allowed to call her mommy, and she's the only mom, and she doesn't want the kid to get confused as to who his "real" mom is.

    I think that's pretty ridiculous, and that the kid should be able to call the parent whatever the heck they want. It's really up to you and your family- her dad doesn't sound very in the picture so I wouldn't really care about his opinion on the matter at all.


    Yeah I worry bout her bio going psycho about it and causing a shitload of trouble. At one point he told her not to tell mommy about his new friend whom she met the day after we split because I would get very mad. We were driving home and said that's where the girl lived by accident then started bawling because she wasn't supposed to tell and kept asking if I was mad. I didn't react other than to say I wasn't mad and it was okay for daddy to have new friends. Later I brought it up to him that if she was going to meet new girlfriends make sure they were gonna stay in the picture first... a week later they stopped seeing each other and my daughter still asks what happened to the girl and if she die. Her uncle passed away 6 months before that so she went through a stage of not seeing people for a few days she thought it was because they were dead. I was told to mind my own f***king business and that he could do whatever he wanted.
    I actually have to agree with him. The bolded is not your business, and it is not your place. I understand why you would WANT this, but you don't get to make these kind of demands.
    Yeah I don't think it's as damaging as people think, for kids to meet their parents' s/o's.

    When my parents got divorced, my dad made my mother agree that neither of them would introduce me or my sister to new significant others unless they had been dating at least six months. My mom had come out during their separation so he was worried that if he didn't impose that rule, she would "corrupt" us or something with her lesbian ways. Guess which one of my parents followed the rule? I'll give you a hint. I've met one of my mom's girlfriends (now her wife). I've met at least six of my dad's girlfriends.

    So that was a dick move on his part, but in the end, it really didn't affect me long term. Sure, I was bummed when he broke up with that one chick I really liked, but I never once thought these ladies were going to be my new mommies. Just explain to your daughter what boyfriends/girlfriends are and how they work. I guarantee her whole "asking if the girlfriend was dead" is really not as big a deal as you think.
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  • actually in the state of NJ where they were divorced, it was standard in divorce papers when you have kids and both parents are actively involved.  The kids had nicknames for both me and their step-dad that wasn't "mom" or "dad" based and it was fine with everyone.  They also co-parented well and it wasn't an issue but just something to keep in mind if the OP was divorced that this might be in the papers.

    We were never married just together for 15 years... stupidity on my part for sure. But ya live and learn.
    Ok well then legally it's not an issue.  However if you want to successfully coparent with your ex, I would tell him and talk to him before telling her it's ok.  Explain that she asked and you told her that he is still her dad but since the male figure she is around most is your fiance, she wants to call him dad too.  If it's majorly an issue, maybe you can come up with an agreement like she will call him "papa" or some other form of the word dad to just keep the peace between the adults.

    People get weird and territorial about names like that and you said she still spends every other weekend with him so it's not like there is no father in the picture, he's just shitty unless she's physically with him.  I'd just give him a heads up so there isn't a huge fight one day when she refers to your fiance as "dad" in front of him and he flips a shit.
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  • jenna8984 said:

    My 6 year old asked me yesterday if she can call my fiance dad. Her biological father is still in her life but only on an every other weekend basis. No contact between and she has already stopped asking to call him before bed because in a year he has answered the phone one time and doesn't return calls. For awhile I still had her call but it upset her to tears when he didnt pick up... cue a pissed off momma. Anyways, would it be more confusing for her to call him dad at her age though? I've told her that doesn't mean that J*** isn't her dad anymore and fiance will be her step dad. After we told her we were getting married the first thing she asked is when she would get a baby brother or sister. He's okay with being called dad, her father I haven't gotten to talk to. So who's had to deal with this already?

    Why shouldn't she call him dad? I honestly don't get the issue here.



    Some people are psycho lunatics. When my brother divorced and started dating his now-wife, his 2 year old called her mommy. Ex-wife found out and LOST her fucking shit saying that he was not allowed to call her mommy, and she's the only mom, and she doesn't want the kid to get confused as to who his "real" mom is.

    I think that's pretty ridiculous, and that the kid should be able to call the parent whatever the heck they want. It's really up to you and your family- her dad doesn't sound very in the picture so I wouldn't really care about his opinion on the matter at all.


    Yeah I worry bout her bio going psycho about it and causing a shitload of trouble. At one point he told her not to tell mommy about his new friend whom she met the day after we split because I would get very mad. We were driving home and said that's where the girl lived by accident then started bawling because she wasn't supposed to tell and kept asking if I was mad. I didn't react other than to say I wasn't mad and it was okay for daddy to have new friends. Later I brought it up to him that if she was going to meet new girlfriends make sure they were gonna stay in the picture first... a week later they stopped seeing each other and my daughter still asks what happened to the girl and if she die. Her uncle passed away 6 months before that so she went through a stage of not seeing people for a few days she thought it was because they were dead. I was told to mind my own f***king business and that he could do whatever he wanted.
    I actually have to agree with him. The bolded is not your business, and it is not your place. I understand why you would WANT this, but you don't get to make these kind of demands.
    actually a lot of agreements say just that. 


    I have a friend who's wife divorced him. They have a son.  She started seeing someone else (and got married) and starting telling the son to start calling him 'daddy'.  She told the kid flat out that the new guy was his new daddy.  Then then she was not following custody orders.  Then she was demanding my friend to give up his rights so the new daddy can adopt.  She actually used not having to pay child support as a reason why he should do that.   It was a pretty fucked up situation.  

    Of course, the OP's situation is different.  The daughter WANTS to call him dad.  But there are some pretty fucked up parents out there who will anything to alienate their ex's from their children.    Things like having the child call someone else mommy/daddy is one of those ways.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • actually in the state of NJ where they were divorced, it was standard in divorce papers when you have kids and both parents are actively involved.  The kids had nicknames for both me and their step-dad that wasn't "mom" or "dad" based and it was fine with everyone.  They also co-parented well and it wasn't an issue but just something to keep in mind if the OP was divorced that this might be in the papers.

    Eesh. Well in that case, New Jersey is ridiculous.
    Haha I don't think anyone needs divorce papers to prove that  (I kid, I kid, NJ is just easy to tease.)
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  • Were you married to her bio dad ever?  If you were, you might want to check the divorce papers.  I know with my ex, in his divorce papers it explicitly said that their kids couldn't call anyone else "mom" or "dad" or anything like that.


    If not though, I dont' see a problem with it as long as both of them want it!
    Wow, really? That is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard. I am positive that it is not standard or common.
    And how in the world would the courts enforce this?  

    I think it should be up to the child (obviously at an age they can understand) how they want to label the relationship with a step-parent.
  • lyndausvi said:

    jenna8984 said:

    My 6 year old asked me yesterday if she can call my fiance dad. Her biological father is still in her life but only on an every other weekend basis. No contact between and she has already stopped asking to call him before bed because in a year he has answered the phone one time and doesn't return calls. For awhile I still had her call but it upset her to tears when he didnt pick up... cue a pissed off momma. Anyways, would it be more confusing for her to call him dad at her age though? I've told her that doesn't mean that J*** isn't her dad anymore and fiance will be her step dad. After we told her we were getting married the first thing she asked is when she would get a baby brother or sister. He's okay with being called dad, her father I haven't gotten to talk to. So who's had to deal with this already?

    Why shouldn't she call him dad? I honestly don't get the issue here.



    Some people are psycho lunatics. When my brother divorced and started dating his now-wife, his 2 year old called her mommy. Ex-wife found out and LOST her fucking shit saying that he was not allowed to call her mommy, and she's the only mom, and she doesn't want the kid to get confused as to who his "real" mom is.

    I think that's pretty ridiculous, and that the kid should be able to call the parent whatever the heck they want. It's really up to you and your family- her dad doesn't sound very in the picture so I wouldn't really care about his opinion on the matter at all.


    Yeah I worry bout her bio going psycho about it and causing a shitload of trouble. At one point he told her not to tell mommy about his new friend whom she met the day after we split because I would get very mad. We were driving home and said that's where the girl lived by accident then started bawling because she wasn't supposed to tell and kept asking if I was mad. I didn't react other than to say I wasn't mad and it was okay for daddy to have new friends. Later I brought it up to him that if she was going to meet new girlfriends make sure they were gonna stay in the picture first... a week later they stopped seeing each other and my daughter still asks what happened to the girl and if she die. Her uncle passed away 6 months before that so she went through a stage of not seeing people for a few days she thought it was because they were dead. I was told to mind my own f***king business and that he could do whatever he wanted.
    I actually have to agree with him. The bolded is not your business, and it is not your place. I understand why you would WANT this, but you don't get to make these kind of demands.
    actually a lot of agreements say just that. 


    I have a friend who's wife divorced him. They have a son.  She started seeing someone else (and got married) and starting telling the son to start calling him 'daddy'.  She told the kid flat out that the new guy was his new daddy.  Then then she was not following custody orders.  Then she was demanding my friend to give up his rights so the new daddy can adopt.  She actually used not having to pay child support as a reason why he should do that.   It was a pretty fucked up situation.  

    Of course, the OP's situation is different.  The daughter WANTS to call him dad.  But there are some pretty fucked up parents out there who will anything to alienate their ex's from their children.    Things like having the child call someone else mommy/daddy is one of those ways.
    Okay, so one example=a lot? 

    That is a super fucked up situation, but that was one situation. In general, one parent doesn't get to dictate who the other parent sees, and when they introduce them to the child (barring things like sex crime convictions, etc).


  • lyndausvi said:

    jenna8984 said:

    My 6 year old asked me yesterday if she can call my fiance dad. Her biological father is still in her life but only on an every other weekend basis. No contact between and she has already stopped asking to call him before bed because in a year he has answered the phone one time and doesn't return calls. For awhile I still had her call but it upset her to tears when he didnt pick up... cue a pissed off momma. Anyways, would it be more confusing for her to call him dad at her age though? I've told her that doesn't mean that J*** isn't her dad anymore and fiance will be her step dad. After we told her we were getting married the first thing she asked is when she would get a baby brother or sister. He's okay with being called dad, her father I haven't gotten to talk to. So who's had to deal with this already?

    Why shouldn't she call him dad? I honestly don't get the issue here.



    Some people are psycho lunatics. When my brother divorced and started dating his now-wife, his 2 year old called her mommy. Ex-wife found out and LOST her fucking shit saying that he was not allowed to call her mommy, and she's the only mom, and she doesn't want the kid to get confused as to who his "real" mom is.

    I think that's pretty ridiculous, and that the kid should be able to call the parent whatever the heck they want. It's really up to you and your family- her dad doesn't sound very in the picture so I wouldn't really care about his opinion on the matter at all.


    Yeah I worry bout her bio going psycho about it and causing a shitload of trouble. At one point he told her not to tell mommy about his new friend whom she met the day after we split because I would get very mad. We were driving home and said that's where the girl lived by accident then started bawling because she wasn't supposed to tell and kept asking if I was mad. I didn't react other than to say I wasn't mad and it was okay for daddy to have new friends. Later I brought it up to him that if she was going to meet new girlfriends make sure they were gonna stay in the picture first... a week later they stopped seeing each other and my daughter still asks what happened to the girl and if she die. Her uncle passed away 6 months before that so she went through a stage of not seeing people for a few days she thought it was because they were dead. I was told to mind my own f***king business and that he could do whatever he wanted.
    I actually have to agree with him. The bolded is not your business, and it is not your place. I understand why you would WANT this, but you don't get to make these kind of demands.
    actually a lot of agreements say just that. 


    I have a friend who's wife divorced him. They have a son.  She started seeing someone else (and got married) and starting telling the son to start calling him 'daddy'.  She told the kid flat out that the new guy was his new daddy.  Then then she was not following custody orders.  Then she was demanding my friend to give up his rights so the new daddy can adopt.  She actually used not having to pay child support as a reason why he should do that.   It was a pretty fucked up situation.  

    Of course, the OP's situation is different.  The daughter WANTS to call him dad.  But there are some pretty fucked up parents out there who will anything to alienate their ex's from their children.    Things like having the child call someone else mommy/daddy is one of those ways.
    Okay, so one example=a lot? 

    That is a super fucked up situation, but that was one situation. In general, one parent doesn't get to dictate who the other parent sees, and when they introduce them to the child (barring things like sex crime convictions, etc).


    I didn't say my example is the only one out there.   Just providing an example how some parents are pretty fucked up about alienating the other parent is why some people feel the need to put these types of clauses in an agreement.


    And yes, some courts think there should be stipulations who who can be around their child or not.    






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
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