I also posted this under the Etiquette section:
My parents have generously offered to foot the bill for my wedding despite my assumption that I would be paying for it myself. They are divorced and my father's only request was to make sure he could bring a date. I asked my mother what she wanted just to get that out of the way now well in advance of my planning. Her requests were (1) for us to have a minister, (2) for her to walk me down the aisle too, (3) for her to invite a list of her friends. I have already told her that (1) will not be happening as neither my FI or I are very religious, that I would think about (2) and consult with my father. For (3) she sent me a list of 24 guests. I have expressed my interest in having a small wedding but understand the reality when between my FI and I, our parents have about 23 siblings. Realistically I think we will end up inviting 175 and expect about 120 people and even though this still seems large to me I can accept this. She is already talking about the assumption that extended relatives (cousins of hers or my fathers) would be invited in addition to her friends list. I told her that I preferred not to invite people that I didn't know or in terms of the extended family, wasn't close with. She was very upset with me about the idea that I might not want to invite a friend of hers that I used as an example of someone I didn't know. She made a point in saying that "this is a celebration and I want my close friends to be there." I want to nip this in the bud because I know if I let her have an inch she will generally take a mile so my question is, if she is paying for a large part of the wedding does that mean she gets what she wants in this case and I should just accept the strings attached? Or do I put my foot down on what I want or am comfortable with? I just have a feeling this is only the beginning...