Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum

Unity Candle (Fiance's parents are divorced, only his dad is remarried)

I am trying to figure out who would lite the unity candle. My parents are still married, so I know how that will work. But my fiances parents are divorced. They are all friendly with each other. His dad has been remarried for almost 30 years (his stepmom is the one who introduced us) and his bio mom has been dating the same man for several years and he is like a stepfather to my fiance. Someone told me that even though they are divorced, his bio mom and bio dad should light the candle. Does anyone know what the etiquette is for this? Or does anyone have any previous experience with this?

Re: Unity Candle (Fiance's parents are divorced, only his dad is remarried)

  • I am trying to figure out who would lite the unity candle. My parents are still married, so I know how that will work. But my fiances parents are divorced. They are all friendly with each other. His dad has been remarried for almost 30 years (his stepmom is the one who introduced us) and his bio mom has been dating the same man for several years and he is like a stepfather to my fiance. Someone told me that even though they are divorced, his bio mom and bio dad should light the candle. Does anyone know what the etiquette is for this? Or does anyone have any previous experience with this?

    I don't think there's any etiquette with this, but I've only seen moms light the unity candle, never the Dads. 

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  • Agreed, I thought it was just a mom's thing....
  • BrinkyDink16BrinkyDink16 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    edited May 2015
    My cousin and his wife both have divorced parents, one of whom is remarried and one of whom isn't.  At their wedding it was the biological parents who lit the unity candle.  At ours, our parents are not lighting them.  We're each lighting our own individual candle before lighting the center one.  Gives us a chance to Flick our Bics!
  • I don't know who generally lights the candle. I think when my mom and step dad got married, they each lit their own candle then together lit the large candle. My fiance and I are doing the sand :)
    Daisypath Wedding tickers
  • I have also seen the bride and groom light their own individual candles and then use those to light the middle unity candle together.
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