Pre-wedding Parties

Work showers

Hi everyone,
 
I recently learned that my boss is planning to throw a work shower for me. She is inviting our department but asked me to let her know if there are other people she should invite -- I work at a college which is also my alma mater, so I know a lot of faculty etc. 

(1) Just for the sake of checking: I am not really planning to invite coworkers to the wedding (other than my boss, who doesn't know I'm inviting her yet), and I don't think I've given anyone a different impression as I've really hammed up the "small mostly-family wedding" line.Typically you would never have a shower for folks not invited to the wedding but my office has done this for other brides before and my understanding is that work showers are different -- is that true? 

(2) My boss seems really interested in inviting faculty I have worked with, particularly maybe some of the ones that I have a good relationship with from my student years. I hope to invite a very small number of these people to the actual wedding, but we are still figuring this out (originally we couldn't manage it, but we've recently gotten new space/funds that might allow expanding the guest list by 4-5 people plus spouses. Invites are still about 3 weeks away). My officiant is also a professor here (priest). Is it appropriate to include the officiant? What about others? 

I am not 100% clear on whether this is just a celebration or a true shower -- my boss called it a shower to me, and asked for my registries, but what I saw of the e-vite referenced nothing and I don't really see how I can ask for clarification without it coming out wrong. Obviously if I were clear that it was just a celebration this would be easier! I want to be inclusive, but not gift-grabby. I'd appreciate any thoughts you knotties have. 

Re: Work showers

  • Hi everyone,
     

    I recently learned that my boss is planning to throw a work shower for me. She is inviting our department but asked me to let her know if there are other people she should invite -- I work at a college which is also my alma mater, so I know a lot of faculty etc. 

    (1) Just for the sake of checking: I am not really planning to invite coworkers to the wedding (other than my boss, who doesn't know I'm inviting her yet), and I don't think I've given anyone a different impression as I've really hammed up the "small mostly-family wedding" line.Typically you would never have a shower for folks not invited to the wedding but my office has done this for other brides before and my understanding is that work showers are different -- is that true? 

    (2) My boss seems really interested in inviting faculty I have worked with, particularly maybe some of the ones that I have a good relationship with from my student years. I hope to invite a very small number of these people to the actual wedding, but we are still figuring this out (originally we couldn't manage it, but we've recently gotten new space/funds that might allow expanding the guest list by 4-5 people plus spouses. Invites are still about 3 weeks away). My officiant is also a professor here (priest). Is it appropriate to include the officiant? What about others? 

    I am not 100% clear on whether this is just a celebration or a true shower -- my boss called it a shower to me, and asked for my registries, but what I saw of the e-vite referenced nothing and I don't really see how I can ask for clarification without it coming out wrong. Obviously if I were clear that it was just a celebration this would be easier! I want to be inclusive, but not gift-grabby. I'd appreciate any thoughts you knotties have. 
    Work showers and church showers are the exception to the rule.  Most invitees understand they're not invited to the wedding and that it's just a group getting together to celebrate with their co-worker/ church member who is getting married.  I wouldn't worry about it.  Mostly because whether it's just a celebration or if it is indeed a shower, the same rules apply.  I think you're fine.
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