Wedding Vows & Ceremony Discussions

Just go to the court house?

My fiancé and I have been together for several years, have a baby girl, live together, and have been engaged officially since November. We just this past week decided to get married in July. Fiancé lost his civilian job a few months ago, and we both want to do this without spending thousands.

I have never wanted a huge wedding. He doesn't either, since it's his second wedding and was thinking maybe a totL of 20 people. My fiancé has been married before, and they did a destination wedding in Vegas. We are both dual military, with him in the reserves and me in the National Guard. Now in my state there is a beautiful, century old house on National Guard property that is used for banquets, awards, etc. Since I am in the guard, I would be able to have the venue for free (yay!!). I was thinking of just cake and punch reception, with a short ceremony beforehand. No bridal party, no groomsmen, no dances, no flowers. Just vows at 2pm, and then everyone eats cake, drinks punch and we all go about our merry day.

Well I called the venue and apparently renovations are starting on the house that will last six months. So that's out of the question. Now I'm bummed and just wondering if I really want to do the whole ceremony thing anyways. it will be too hot to get married outside, and we don't want to get married in a church. He doesn't want a big wedding, which we both fear is what it will turn into. I know how things snowball. I don't want to spend copious amounts of time planning either, to be frankly honest. Our family doesn't care what we do.

Is there anyone who said, "to heck with it" and just signed papers at the courthouse? Is there anyone who almost did that but decided against it?

Re: Just go to the court house?

  • edited April 2015
    Both myself and my H were married previously. We had large, traditional weddings the first time around. I had a larger wedding against my own wishes (appeasing family) and knew it was something I'd never want to do again. When we got engaged, we both immediately agreed there was no chance that we'd have a traditional wedding. We decided that we wanted to have a destination wedding, which made sense for us because we travel often (3-4 vacations a year) and we knew we would not be inviting anyone to our wedding. We ended up keeping our plans to ourselves and eloped. We had a civil wedding on a beach in Australia with no guests. We told everyone about our marriage after the fact. The entire process, including the ceremony itself, was so stress free. It was a very personal, intimate experience that we wouldn't trade for anything. Our wedding was truly about us and no one else.

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  • I almost eloped because of feuding families.  I am glad I stuck it out, even though my wedding day memories are not completely serene.
    Your plans sound perfectly lovely.  All you need is a venue.  Check out meeting halls, fraternal organizations like Elks and  Masons, even fire halls.
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  • My H and I knew we wanted a small, no frills type wedding. We ended up getting married in a restaurant with 31 guests. My brother got officiated online and performed the ceremony. 5 minute ceremony then a few hours of eating and drinking with our closest family and friends. Boom. Bam. Done. We loved it. 
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  • As long as you are going to be happy with a courthouse wedding, go for it.
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  • We had a very intimate wedding (5 guests), but we also did a lot of planning for it.

    So as you can see, there are a WIDE range of options between eloping in the courthouse and have a lavish huge affair. Do what makes sense for you and what makes you happy. If you want to go to the courthouse with a few people and do some cake and punch after then that's totally cool! You could even just take everyone out to a restaurant (it doesn't even have to be fancy!).

  • There is nothing wrong with a courthouse wedding. Could you host a little cake and punch reception at your home? It doesn't need to be fancy, as long as you and your FI are happy.
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  • What about renting the party room at your favorite restaurant and hosting your favorite 20 people for dinner after the ceremony (also in the party room of your favorite restaurant)?
  • Are there any parks in your area that have buildings or shelter areas that you use/rent? There is nothing wrong with a court house wedding. All that matters is that you're happy with whatever decision you make it's one that you are happy with. What you originally planned sounded lovely. Maybe give yourself a certain budget & time frame for looking for other venues where you could pull off the same type of event. If you don't find anything you can still go to the courthouse.
  • esstee33esstee33 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    edited July 2015
    If you want to get married at the courthouse, do it! But there are lots of options for a very small ceremony that aren't the courthouse if that's not what you want. 

    My FI and I are driving down to New Orleans to marry at the courthouse there and spend a week traveling around together. No guests, just our photographers. We've both been married before and both had big weddings that were mostly the whims of our exes and parents, so we're doing what we really want this time. 
  •    I wanted to just go to the county clerks office and sign the papers. My husband wanted a ceremony and reception, which I thought was odd since he's been married before (This is my first wedding). 

       We compromised and did a very small immediate family only wedding at Disneyland. I didn't have to plan anything and he still got his ceremony. I know I would have been perfectly happy with a courthouse wedding, but it's his wedding too so we compromised :)
  • RezIpsaRezIpsa member
    5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    Fairyjen1 said:

       I wanted to just go to the county clerks office and sign the papers. My husband wanted a ceremony and reception, which I thought was odd since he's been married before (This is my first wedding). 


       We compromised and did a very small immediate family only wedding at Disneyland. I didn't have to plan anything and he still got his ceremony. I know I would have been perfectly happy with a courthouse wedding, but it's his wedding too so we compromised :)
    Very similar to what we are discussing doing right now, and for the same reasons. I still haven't given up on an elopement, he hasn't given up on the ceremony and reception.

    Nice to know it can work out!

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