Wedding Woes

How do I confront an ignorant (or possibly racist) co-worker?

Dear Prudie,
I work in our small, mostly family-owned company. The other day when I was in a casual conversation with another employee who directly reports to a non-family partner, she used the phrase “Jewed him down” to describe how she negotiated with a street vendor on a trip to New York. I was too stunned to say anything and so changed the topic of conversation to work-related matters. While we have different bosses and even work out of different locations, we are currently working together on a project and need to be corresponding. I’m uncomfortable with her antiquated views. What’s the best way to let her know that those kinds of views aren’t acceptable in the workplace (to say nothing of decent society) without coming off as the bratty relative of the owners? I don’t want to give her the impression I’ve shared this or that her job’s on the line. I just want her to know that there’s no room for that phrase in the 21st century.

—Concerned Co-Worker

Re: How do I confront an ignorant (or possibly racist) co-worker?

  • Too late. 

    The time to say something was in that moment. Since this is the only example given, I have to wonder if the coworker is really a racist, or just a garden-variety jerk who's never thought about the expression. If it happens again, Mrs. Conn, you can say something right that minute, but there's no graceful way to be all, "Hey, you know that expression you used once? It's gross, and I think you're a total racist now, and I feel it's my place to lecture you about proper behavior in the workplace." 

    So you can say something as it's happening, or you can report her to HR, I guess, but no, you can't bring this specific instance up without looking like you're unable to let things go until you've put yourself into scolding teacher mode. 

    **I do want to say I think coworker's an asshole, just in general, and not right in any way. But the letter-writer will just make things more difficult if she lectures after-the-fact. 
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  • hmonkeyhmonkey member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    just godwin it and give her a framed picture of hitler for her desk.
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