Attire and Accessories

Everyone hates my dress!

After a while searching for 'the dress', and going shopping with a few different friends, I realised that I was trying to unify a lot of diverse opinions. I was becoming more and more confused! In the end I went dress shopping with my FMIL and bought a dress there and then. That is very unlike me as I am usually very indecisive, especially about clothes! I felt so happy in it, it's the first time I have felt genuinely relaxed and 'myself' in a wedding dress since I started looking. Its not a traditional bridal gown and I suppose it's a bit more informal than I first intended to look for. Anyway I was so excited that I had finally decided on a dress that I showed some of the friends that I had originally shopped with and the reception has been cool to say the least! A couple said they sort of 'like' maybe the back of the dress and a couple said they weren't so keen on it at all. I know it sounds like compliment fishing but I didn't intend to come across like that, these are close friends who have been really enthusiastic about dress shopping and were super keen for me to show them the dress I chose. I suppose I just feel a bit bummed out by the response as I don't have a lot of confidence about clothes and my appearance. I know there are lots of opinions (as many as there are people)! ,I'm also really kicking myself for showing them as it has made me feel less excited about the dress, even though of course it is not the most important thing. I guess I should have kept it to myself but I was really excited. Sorry for the offloading...
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Re: Everyone hates my dress!

  • I agree with Maggie. Also try it back on and if you feel the same way in it you know its the right dress. If you do feel too informal you can always wear some kick butt jewelry or get a beaded belt.  No matter what I'm sure you look breath taking and I know your fiance will love it! 
    junebug6368
  • emmaaaemmaaa North Carolina
    Moderator 2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary
    mod
    Are they the ones wearing your dress? Are your friends paying for you dress? Nope. You are wearing it. It sounds like you love it and feel comfortable and beautiful in it! That's what matters. 

    CJandRyanKnottie3135957
  • I love to see photos of you in the dress, I'm sure it's lovely!
    Knottie3135957
  • If I had seen my dress in pictures before I bought it, I would have been like "meh".  But wearing it, wow, it's awesome.  If you love the dress, you'll be confident wearing it, and I bet they'll change their minds about it once they see you in it. 

    And, as PPs have already mentioned, they're not paying for your dress, they're not wearing your dress, they're not the ones getting married in said dress, so who really cares if they don't like YOUR dress.

    Married 9.12.15
    image
  • I ended up getting a dress way more formal than everyone expected for my wedding. And, I certainly got a few side eyes from people who saw it. But, in the end, I really didn't care. It's my dress. I loved it and looked amazing, and DH thought it was beautiful. That's all that really matters.

    Have some confidence! You know what you like better than anyone. How you felt when you put it on is something that can't be taken away, so don't worry about what others think. I'm sure you look amazing. Which dress was it? Just curious.  

    "There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness." -Friedrich Nietzsche, "On Reading and Writing"
  • Thank you everyone for your kind replies and for the reassurance. I got an email to say that my dress came in and I'm really looking forward to trying it on again, which I suppose tells me that I still like it and that the general indifference/ dislike for it hasn't put me off completely!

    I also happened to be watching an episode of Don't Tell the Bride and FI came in and said that he didn't like the girl's dress because it was 'too traditional weddingy' (?!) so I guess that helped to reinforce my decision....? For a wedding dress, I suppose the one I've chosen is not very weddingy at all, which surprised me as I thought I knew I wanted a big ballgown!

    Msuprinncess04 it's an ivory chiffon halter neck dress, natural waist, very simple. I'm going to wear it with a veil and a sort of gold-colored belt (sounds awful, hopefully nicer in real life than description!). Now to find a bra with no back, and no straps!
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    Knottie3135957
  • justsiejustsie
    Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    member
    Depending on your breast size, these may work for you OP!

     Also, I know many women on here would suggest getting cups sewn into your dress when you do your alterations as an option. 
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    Knottie3135957 Knottie1431649503switSwoo00
  • If YOU like it, then it's the dress for you!
    It's your big day--not theirs.
    I'm making my own dress. Only the men in my family have said they liked it. The women in my family have all stated how they don't like it and I "should've bought one." Well guess what?! I'm in LOVE with it! I feel amazing in it. It makes me look amazing! So screw anyone that thinks otherwise :-)
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    Knottie1431649503BrinkyDink16switSwoo00
  • This is less about the dress and more about negative reactions in general but ... what my FH and I have decided is to stop showing things to the people who gives us "mleh" reactions.  At this point this list is small and includes my grandmother, his mother, and one of my aunts.  His mother was so "mleh" about everything it was really bringing him down and then was making us second guess ourselves.  We get that we're not doing a traditional wedding and that she's probably disappointed about that because he's her only son.  We get that but he's a grown man, we're paying for it ourselves, and ultimately it our decision to make. 

    If your dress makes you feel confident and beautiful then it's the dress for you.  End of story.  Let those reactions roll right off your back.  Be a duck. :)
    switSwoo00haleyk620
  • Thanks everyone. I really appreciate your advice and it made me feel more confident about my decision. I went back and tried on my dress with my MOH and another good friend and they both really liked it. And so did I! I'm really happy with my choice - thank you for the reassurance.

    I also found a great strapless, super low back bra from Ultimo. It was more than I've ever spent on underwear but it's perfect for the dress and it's actually quite sexy! (For a functional piece of underwear!)
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    Maggie0829
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