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Standing or sitting?

spglspspglsp member
First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
in Wedding Party
I didn't think I would be close close to the date without resolving this but here we are. One of our groomsmen is an 11 year old who doesn't do so well with standing around for extended periods (who does?). He can act out a bit and FI and I would rather not put him in the position of standing through the ceremony. Would the solution be to have the entire wedding party sit through the ceremony or just the kids? I'm not even sure if wedding parties are supposed to stand or sit in the first place so any guidance here would be appreciated.
Just Married!

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Re: Standing or sitting?

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    Jen4948Jen4948 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    I don't think it's usual for wedding party members to sit, but it probably isn't unusual either. But if you allow this kid to sit, it seems reasonable to me to let everyone sit and not single anyone out.
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    Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    Why not leave it up to the kid to decide when and if he wants to sit?  Have a seat open for him in the first row and if he gets tired of standing then he can go take a seat.

    The only wedding I have been in where I sat was a Catholic wedding that was an hour long.  We sat, we stood, we sat, we stood, over and over again until the ceremony was finally over with.  But as someone who hates standing in a pair of heels in one spot without moving for more then 10 minutes, if your ceremony is longer then say 15 minutes, have your wedding party sit.  No one will be wanting to look at them during the ceremony anyways.

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    MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot member
    First Comment First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its
    I've never seen kids in the wedding stand through the entire ceremony.  I went to a wedding this spring where the ceremony was literally 5 minutes. The children walked up the aisle and then sat in the first row with their parents. The adults in the WP stood. 

    If your ceremony is longer than about 15 minutes, I would have the whole wedding party sit except during the vows. Either way, I would probably tell the 11 year old to sit in the front row if he got tired of standing. As a guest, I wouldn't side eye an 11 year old sitting down in the middle of the ceremony even while the adults remained standing. 
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    novella1186novella1186 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    I was in a wedding where one of the BMs needed to walk away and sit down in the middle of the vows because she was ill. It wasn't a big deal. 

    I agree with PP, if you ceremony is longer than around 15 minutes, just have everyone sit. It's not such a weird thing that your guests will be all "Omg why are they sitting?!!! This is absurd!" 

    Or have the kid sit as soon as he gets down the aisle and have everyone else stand. 

    Or offer him the chance to go sit if he decides to. 

    I think any of these options are totally fine and won't be a big deal. 
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    jacques27jacques27 member
    First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    spglsp said:
    I didn't think I would be close close to the date without resolving this but here we are. One of our groomsmen is an 11 year old who doesn't do so well with standing around for extended periods (who does?). He can act out a bit and FI and I would rather not put him in the position of standing through the ceremony. Would the solution be to have the entire wedding party sit through the ceremony or just the kids? I'm not even sure if wedding parties are supposed to stand or sit in the first place so any guidance here would be appreciated.


    I think this is one of those situations where who cares what wedding parties are "supposed" to do - do what you feel is best for the ultimate comfort of the people you love and care about.  You know he doesn't do well with it, so have it as an option for him to sit.  If your ceremony is long, then it would be a nice gesture to allow them all to sit.

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    spglspspglsp member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    Thank you, everyone. We're going to confirm the ceremony length with our officiant, check in with our groomsman, and depending on the answers we get we're comfortable just have everyone sit. It's a real weight off my mind
    Just Married!

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