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I cracked (why I have been missing) :s

Im out of the psych ward smile emoticon I feel better. 5 days in the ward and lots of reflection later I feel better and much more calm. I am on medication and psychiatric treatment.

My parents were driving me crazy with their BS and going behind our back and not taking no for an answer. 2 "adults" who act like fucking teenagers are a bit too much. On top of everything my mother's safety is/was at risk with her douche of a BF who did not allow her to go out of the house other than for work or talk to her best friend. 

It wasn't just my parents, our former decorator threw a bomb at us. I called her on Friday to let her know we had found someone else (she had been postponing our talks since the first week of May "after Mother's day" "I want you to be calm, we'll talk after you are done with school"). Well when I called her, she cut me off and didn't let me talk. She started to tell me since we were so close to the wedding she had ordered everything and she had paid for everything and she NEEDED us to pay her.

We never signed a contract nor gave her a deposit because she kept postponing stuff and she kept pushing off sending me the contract and last time I spoke to her she had told me there were things missing from the quote she had sent me months ago....

Why would she do that I have no idea, but it put a immense amount of stress and anxiety on me on top of everything else with my parents and I didn't do well on my last exam.

So I couldn't deal and I needed help. But now I am better and more organized. Fi has been great with everything and he dealt with a ton of shit he really didn't have to, but he did. He stuck up for me and told my parents off on their BS as well as the decorator, who might try to sue us. 


So almost a week later I am back, stronger, and more confident, calm and organized. 


Just wanted to let you guys know since you have been such a great guide and support system. 


Re: I cracked (why I have been missing) :s

  • Glad to see you are doing better!  Sending you tons of positive thoughts!
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  • Wow.  That is a lot to take in within a short amount of time.  Glad that your FI is there for support and is completely on your side!

    As for decorator lady.  Compile all the emails and records of phone calls you might have had with her.  Document everything now, so on the chance that she does try to sue, you already have everything gathered and ready to combat her. 

    I'm sorry you are going through such trying time right now, but I hope that everything starts looking up for you soon.  And that you have a very uneventful lead up to your wedding!

  • JaniV123 said:

    Im out of the psych ward smile emoticon I feel better. 5 days in the ward and lots of reflection later I feel better and much more calm. I am on medication and psychiatric treatment.

    My parents were driving me crazy with their BS and going behind our back and not taking no for an answer. 2 "adults" who act like fucking teenagers are a bit too much. On top of everything my mother's safety is/was at risk with her douche of a BF who did not allow her to go out of the house other than for work or talk to her best friend. 

    It wasn't just my parents, our former decorator threw a bomb at us. I called her on Friday to let her know we had found someone else (she had been postponing our talks since the first week of May "after Mother's day" "I want you to be calm, we'll talk after you are done with school"). Well when I called her, she cut me off and didn't let me talk. She started to tell me since we were so close to the wedding she had ordered everything and she had paid for everything and she NEEDED us to pay her.

    We never signed a contract nor gave her a deposit because she kept postponing stuff and she kept pushing off sending me the contract and last time I spoke to her she had told me there were things missing from the quote she had sent me months ago....

    Why would she do that I have no idea, but it put a immense amount of stress and anxiety on me on top of everything else with my parents and I didn't do well on my last exam.

    So I couldn't deal and I needed help. But now I am better and more organized. Fi has been great with everything and he dealt with a ton of shit he really didn't have to, but he did. He stuck up for me and told my parents off on their BS as well as the decorator, who might try to sue us


    So almost a week later I am back, stronger, and more confident, calm and organized. 


    Just wanted to let you guys know since you have been such a great guide and support system. 

    So you never had a contract or gave a deposit, but she might sue you.

    I'm not a lawyer, but I don't think she'll get very far. It's her own fault, she should have gotten back to you. Do you have emails of your correspondence with her?


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  • @huskypuppy14

    I have some on text message, we didn't do much over email. Most of our conversations were over text or over the phone. 

    We are thinking of the worst case scenario that she will sue us over a "verbal" contract so we are preparing for the worst. 

    She is claiming this is taking a toll on her health and shit but I have my counter argument, I am ordering a copy of my record at the psych ward I was at so we have it JIC. 


  • I'm really glad you're feeling better now. Hugs! I'm sorry you had to go through all that. 

    I agree with PPs. If you weren't under contract with that woman, on what grounds could she sue you? Someone tried to do that to us (not wedding related). We HAD a contract, but it had expired. Our lawyer suggested that if she were actually dumb enough to try to sue us on an expired contract, we would counter-sue for a frivolous lawsuit. 

    I honestly wouldn't worry about her at all. She's a moron. Maybe send her this definition, and let her know you'll be more than happy to counter-sue her for wasting your time: 

    In law, frivolous litigation is the practice of starting or carrying onlawsuits that, due to their lack of legal merit, have little to no chance of being won.
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  • I'm so sorry everything happened all at once, but I am really proud of you for taking care of yourself! I really hope that woman isn't stupid enough to try to sue you, but if she does, as PP's have said, she essentially has no case.
  • Tell her to bring it on!  I've learned most people just threaten lawsuits to get what they want.  Happens all the time in my business, I've only ever seen it actually get that far one time, but I hear threats of it almost weekly.  It's her fucking fault for buying a bunch of stuff without a contract or any money from you. 

    I'm glad you're taking care of yourself, and that you're feeling better! 

    Married 9.12.15
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  • Tell her to bring it on!  I've learned most people just threaten lawsuits to get what they want.  Happens all the time in my business, I've only ever seen it actually get that far one time, but I hear threats of it almost weekly.  It's her fucking fault for buying a bunch of stuff without a contract or any money from you. 

    I'm glad you're taking care of yourself, and that you're feeling better! 



    This is exactly what I said after I was out of my state of shock. 


  • anjemonanjemon member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment Name Dropper
    @JaniV123 I would look and see how long your phone keeps call logs for. You might be able to make a list of all the times you tried to call or talked to her. More evidence that you were trying to schedule things but that she was unresponsive.

    But holy crap, that's super crazy to put money into a wedding you don't have a deposit or contract for. And I'm sorry you were having such a hard time, but it's super good that you are taking care of yourself. And how much your FI has your back.
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  • We've had a lot of people threaten to sue our tattoo shop. We've had 2 actually follow through. We've had 0 win their lawsuits. Cause we cover our asses.

    Also if it actually goes to trial (and not just mediation) and you enter your psychiatric records in as evidence those do become a matter of public record. Just something to keep in mind.
  • doeydodoeydo member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    *Hugs* I'm glad you are back and feeling/doing better. 
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  • @MagicInk thanks I didn't know that. 

    At the moment we are trying to look into negotiation even if it will cost us money that we didn't plan on spending. 

    I went in because of a lot of anxiety and panic attacks over the whole situation. We only want to have the records at hand in case she tries to use her own health as part of the lawsuit if she sues us. (she is claiming she had to go twice to the Dr bc of high blood pressure because of the situation)


  • FiancBFiancB member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    It sounds extremely strange to bring up health problems. Like yes, stress can exacerbate health problems, but to blame what she perceives to be a bad customer for high blood pressure is ridiculous. Likewise, it is similarly ridiculous to bring up your stint in the hospital. Either can be the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back in either situation, but it is plainly not the sole cause. 

    Most people can handle doing their jobs without having a hypertensive emergency, and most people can handle wedding stress without having to commit themselves. I wouldn't sweat that too much and I would not bring up your health history unless for some reason that I can't imagine, it's recommended by a lawyer or something. It's not going to come to that. 

    I'm glad that you sought help. That is a great and important first step. 
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  • That sucks, I'm sorry.

    FWIW, I think a lot of people get pissed off and throw around the word "lawsuit" because it scares people. If you stand up for yourself, she may back down if she realizes she has no leg to stand on.

    Happy you are taking care of yourself.
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  • RezIpsaRezIpsa member
    5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    MagicInk said:

    We've had a lot of people threaten to sue our tattoo shop. We've had 2 actually follow through. We've had 0 win their lawsuits. Cause we cover our asses.


    Also if it actually goes to trial (and not just mediation) and you enter your psychiatric records in as evidence those do become a matter of public record. Just something to keep in mind.
    You can request they be sealed, and most courts do that almost automatically. I wouldn't bring it up unless advised to by a civil lawyer. It won't get to that point. If it is worrying you, go to a good lawyer and have a talk about it. This is one of those "one sternly worded letter on lawyer letterhead and problem disappears" situations.
  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its

    <<<hugs>>>

    Welcome back.  I'm sorry about all the bs you've been going through.

    Hopefully you have retained copies of all your correspondence and communications with this decorator as evidence against her lawsuit.  I think that once it becomes clear that she had no contract and no deposit from you, she'll have no case.

    Also, glad to hear that your FI has your back with what passes for your parents.

    Hang tough!  

  • *Hugs*  I'm glad you were able to get help.  I'm sorry about everything that has been happening.

    I'm not a lawyer, but I don't think she'll get very far without any sort of documentation.  


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  • I am a lawyer, and while this isn't official legal advice, JaniV, im of the private opinion you're in a good spot for dealing with the decorator.

    Unless you live in one of the two states with their laws based on the French napoleanic code, your state laws are based on English common law. One of the central tenets of contract common law is the statute of frauds, which states certain activities must be outlined in a written legal contract to be enforceable. One of those activities is "goods (ie decorations) valued over $500." Another is "services" or "contracts" that take a year or more to complete.

    Provided she claims she spent more than 500 on decorations, her suit is DOA for the purpose of recovering their cost. Have someone help you comb through all your emals, messages, and other correspondence and note every time this decorator cancelled or postponed your meeting. If she goes after you in small claims court, I'd consider a countersuit for the legal fees you may have from her suit, the costs of finding another decorator (include any increases in fees and decoration prices) and if she's badmouthing you, claim libel. If she tries to screw with your new decorator and or your wedding, that's tortious interference with your contract, and a good lawyer can sue the be jeezus out of her.


    Otherwise, glad you are doing better, hugs and positive vibes heading your way!
  • Thanks @Chipmunk415!!

    Fi sent her a message with our negotiation strategy and its been 2 days and still no response. We have no idea what her plans are (we are speculating she will try a legal approach since she has been so insistent). 

    We have her blocked on our phones (well FI unblocked her for the negotiation) and we are avoiding phone conversations that can't be recorded. 

    Thank you and I will look into the legal codes (idk where Puerto Rico stands).  


  • My heart goes out to you.  I hope everything gets cleared up, soon, and you can put this mess behind you. Hugs <3
  • JaniV123 said:
    Thanks @Chipmunk415!!

    Fi sent her a message with our negotiation strategy and its been 2 days and still no response. We have no idea what her plans are (we are speculating she will try a legal approach since she has been so insistent). 

    We have her blocked on our phones (well FI unblocked her for the negotiation) and we are avoiding phone conversations that can't be recorded. 

    Thank you and I will look into the legal codes (idk where Puerto Rico stands). 

    _________________________________________

    My understanding is that Puerto Rico is a mixed jurisdiction, due to its Spanish heritage and subsequent take over by the U.S. SO both common law and civil law are used. Contractual law is governed by civil law.



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