Night Ceremony/Reception Timing Help

Re: Night Ceremony/Reception Timing Help

• artbyallie mod

  

  May 2015

  Knottie46608343 said:

  Hi all!

  
  

  My FI and I are getting married 7/29/16 on a Friday evening. We're having the ceremony and reception at the same venue. This venue has a beautiful alley with globe lights strung across it and beautiful brick that lines it. I want to take advantage of this romantic/italian-esque scenery by having our ceremony AT NIGHT (which summertime in ohio would mean about 8pm or 830). 

  
  

  I realize that's incredibly late, so we are opting to have a cocktail hour starting at 7pm where we will serve drinks and a good portion of our appetizers/food to fill guests up. With this, I'd like to do a first look earlier in the evening and get a lot of pictures out of the way so we can both make appearances at the cocktail hour to mingle with our guests.

  
  

  Then the guests will be guided to the alley for the ceremony which will be short and sweet (30 min) and then back into the venue for the reception 9pm-12am. I think we will serve a pizza bar (or something like that) with a dessert there. 

  
  

  So this all seems like a good plan up until the guests getting into the reception. I definitely want to have enough seating for everyone to sit if they want but would this even require assigned seating? How does timing work with the food stations/speeches/etc? Will people just instantly want to dance? How can we make the transition from ceremony to reception seemless? I'm open to any ideas!!

  
  

  Additionally-- If I make an appearance at the cocktail hour before-- should I wear something other than my wedding dress to keep the shock factor for my guests at the ceremony or what? so many thoughts.

  Okay, so there's a lot going on here, but I want to ask first: will there be seating for every guest in the alley for the ceremony? If not, you're going to have to go with a different location for the ceremony because everyone needs a seat.

  
  

  Secondly, it would be fine to just have the ceremony at 8pm with the reception immediately following. You would not even have to serve a full meal (though you certainly still could, if you wished) with that timeline.

  
  

  I just feel like it's really awkward to let people start partying and then interrupt that to drag them all to the ceremony. Ideally you shouldn't break up the reception like that.

  

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• Nymeru member

  

  May 2015

  As a guest, I would prefer to start with the ceremony at 7, and then have the cocktails, appetizers, and pizza.  Breaking up the festivities to have a ceremony ruins the flow for me, even though I realize you won't have the dark alley to achieve the effect you want for the ceremony.
  
  I would say that assigning seating is entirely up to you, but personally I really like having an assigned table to be my home base.  This ensures that I will get to sit with my partner and we won't spend a long time trying to find two seats together since many people will leave a seat between themselves and other guests at the table if seating isn't handled.  We also won't be surrounded by strangers this way.
  
  Because you're having your wedding so late at night, I wouldn't bother with having a separate dress for before the wedding.  Otherwise you'll be getting dressed three times--once in the real dress for pictures, again for your cocktail hour dress, and then a third time to put the real wedding dress on again.  Trust me on this, that many changes will drive you insane and cramp you for time.  If you really want your dress to be a surprise, then save the cocktail hour for after the ceremony, or don't attend your own cocktail hour.
  
  Seating question: does the venue have/are you renting enough chairs to have seating inside AND outside at the same time, or are they planning on moving chairs between locations?  If you're planning on shuffling chairs around, that would be awkward and not seamless at all.
  
  I'm a little confused with your vision for the reception itself. When you say a "pizza bar", are you planning on a pizza buffet as a sit-down dinner?  Will there be toasts and spotlight dances?  I'll assume that you will have these things, so correct me if I'm wrong about your schedule, but I envision it something like this:
  
  7:00-8:00 Cocktails and appetizers
  8:00-8:10 Guests get situated for the ceremony (it can take a while for everyone to move)
  8:15-8:45 Ceremony (try not to make this be too late)
  8:45-9:00 Cake cutting and toasts
  8:45-9:45 Dinner
  9:45-10:00 Spotlight dances
  10:00-12:00 Dancing the night away
  
  Personally, as a guest who has worked all day and is going to this very-late Friday night wedding, I'm most likely going to be exhausted.  I'm not going to want to sit around waiting for things to get started, and I'll most likely be leaving directly after dinner if things take too long to get going.  I love dancing at weddings, but if my participation at the reception really only gets to happen after 10 p.m., I'm probably going to leave unless I get a second wind or you're one of my nearest and dearest.  This is a know-your-crowd type of thing, but I can tell you that grandparents, etc. usually leave as soon as the cake is cut/dinner is over. 
  
  I think you need to give a few more details to get constructive feedback.
  

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• aliwis000 member

  

  June 2015 edited June 2015

  As some of the PP have stated I think having the cocktail hour before is very confusing. How would that even be communicated to the guests on an invite? I suppose you could just put 7pm as you would on any invite but I would be really confused if I got there and then stood around for an hour waiting on the ceremony. Especially if you were not mingling before hand. If you were out and about I would think I had missed the ceremony. The whole thing just seems logistically awkward.
  
  Have your ceremony start at the time on the invite and have it be the first thing. If you need to move it to 7 that is good, if you still want it at 8pm, that is fine too. The party can continue as usual after that no matter which time you pick.
  
  Also you might want to ask your photographer about how the ceremony pictures will look at night with the string lights. They might have some preferences to get the best lighting for their shots. I know pros can make almost anything look good but it would be worth asking so they could form a game plan.
  

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• donethat member

  

  June 2015

  I think you can do a non-traditional timing, just let your guests in on it.  Including, wording the invitation something like, "Please join us for pre-wedding cocktails and hors d'oeuvres beginning at 7 PM.  The wedding ceremony will begin at 8:00, followed by dinner and dancing."  

  
  

  With the wedding next summer, you've still got lots of time to brainstorm, and toss around some different ideas to get it just right.

  
  

  Here are a few more thoughts on the evening's flow;

  
  

  7 - 8  Cocktails Socializing Hors D'oeuvres Music

  *  thought ... if the music is fun and portable like a guitarist or two ... when it's time for the guests to go outside to find their seats for dinner, they can follow the guitarists, and the music can now be wedding music, and everyone can be part of the processional.  :-)

  
  

  8 - 8:30 PM Wedding Ceremony

  
  

  8:30 Guests back inside, where music, drinks, and food awaits them.  (IF it's stations, for example, the food is available for them to start helping themselves as they arrive back inside.  Hence - no "dismissing" etc...   Guests can then find a seat, OR you can have escort cards and assigned seats.  

  
  

  9:30 ish   After about an hour or so of eating and socializing, your MC gets everyone's attention for toasts, cake, and then into dancing .....

  
  

  ~~~~~~

  
  

  Again,. you have lots of time to imagine some possibilities, but I think it all sounds lovely.  

  
  

  Good Luck

  
  

  
  

   

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• poodledoodleooo member

  

  June 2015

  I've been to several weddings that have a similar format and didn't find the cocktail hour before the ceremony to be confusing or awkward at all. Drinks are available - go get the drinks, ya know?! The only thing is that you have to be 100% okay with folks eating and drinking during your ceremony. It'd be rude to ask them to put their half-drunk glass of beer down to start the ceremony.
  
  For the first one I went to, the couple was literally greeting us as we walked in the door (so well before the ceremony started). My family and I grabbed our beverages and munched on a few passed apps, mingled with other guests, before the DJ, or someone i can't remember who specifically, announced that the ceremony was to begin. It was obvious that it wasn't time for fist-pumping dance riots, which definitely came later, because the house lights were still mostly on and the DJ wasn't playing music that said "get down with your bad self" more like mellow jams.
  
  The second, the wedding was on a boat. They didn't have a true "cocktail hour" but beverages and snacks were available as people were boarding the boat, and some boarded as much as an hour before the ceremony was starting, so it was nice for those folks to have pre-ceremony refreshments. This one was during the day though, the timeline was similar, and the Bride and Groom didn't join for their cocktail hour.
  
  I think it's fine to start the ceremony at 8. I also think it's fine to offer refreshments before the ceremony. I wouldn't call this a true cocktail hour, however, and definitely give you're guests some kind of heads up on how this will proceed, either on the invite itself or through an insert.
  

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