Wedding Etiquette Forum

My Friend Insists on Doing My Hair - Help!

Background: a close friend of mine is a stylist who used to be very talented. Nothing that particularly blew me away, but always did a great job on cuts/colors with my hair. When she offered to do my hair for my wedding (which my fiancé and I are paying for unassisted), I said yes.

Dilemma: Since then, she stopped working at her salon and moved on to a barber shop because she found women's hair salons too catty and female clients too needy/exhausting - very understandable in my opinion. However, since this move, I have seen a major decline in focus and quality. She has dyed my hair twice since she moved salons and both times were disappointing. More notably, I want to move towards a very deep brown/purple hue for my wedding and in the process of stripping my hair and dying over it, large portions of my hair were an unsightly greenish-turqoise color. She said she had NO idea how it happened, charged me more than my normal salon charges me, and did not offer to fix it.

Now, I know that hair color and hair styling are not the same, but I don't want to rely on her for my hair on such a special occasion - how do I tell her I no longer want her to do my hair for the wedding?

Re: My Friend Insists on Doing My Hair - Help!

  • Have you had your hair trial yet? I might wait and see how she operates with you telling her exactly what you're looking for, and more importantly: telling her what you don't like. I'm shy and hate telling a hair stylist or someone similar if I don't like something, but you have to speak up about this kind of stuff.

    Regarding the dye job, that sucks.. and it doesn't sound like coloring is your friend's specialty. I would just go to your regular stylist to have your hair cut and colored the way you like it before your wedding. Your friend is only responsible for styling your hair on your wedding day, and as long as she does a great job at the trial with your guidance, I think you can have great wedding hair and avoid an awkward situation.
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers


  • What Addie said.  Honesty is the best policy.

  • I agree that honesty is the best policy, but any suggestions of HOW to say it though? I feel like there is no nice way to say it
  • Admittedly, any way you say it is gonna hurt. That sucks, but it is what it is. I would just tell her like I said. "Friend, I know you want to do my hair, but after the experience with the color last time, I just think I want to go with someone else. I would hate a mishap to cause trouble in our friendship."
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • "Since you dyed my hair green, I'm not comfortable having you do my hair for my wedding and I've hired someone else. I look forward to celebrating with you at the reception."
  • spglspspglsp member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    adk19 said:
    AddieCake said:
    Admittedly, any way you say it is gonna hurt. That sucks, but it is what it is. I would just tell her like I said. "Friend, I know you want to do my hair, but after the experience with the color last time, I just think I want to go with someone else. I would hate a mishap to cause trouble in our friendship."
    That plus... "On my wedding day I will likely be one of those catty, needy, and exhausting women you hate.  In order to save our friendship, I'm going to have someone else do my hair."
    This plus something about wanting her to enjoy the day as a guest.
    Just Married!

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  • Background: a close friend of mine is a stylist who used to be very talented. Nothing that particularly blew me away, but always did a great job on cuts/colors with my hair. When she offered to do my hair for my wedding (which my fiancé and I are paying for unassisted), I said yes.

    Dilemma: Since then, she stopped working at her salon and moved on to a barber shop because she found women's hair salons too catty and female clients too needy/exhausting - very understandable in my opinion. However, since this move, I have seen a major decline in focus and quality. She has dyed my hair twice since she moved salons and both times were disappointing. More notably, I want to move towards a very deep brown/purple hue for my wedding and in the process of stripping my hair and dying over it, large portions of my hair were an unsightly greenish-turqoise color. She said she had NO idea how it happened, charged me more than my normal salon charges me, and did not offer to fix it.

    Now, I know that hair color and hair styling are not the same, but I don't want to rely on her for my hair on such a special occasion - how do I tell her I no longer want her to do my hair for the wedding?
    PP gave great wording on how to tell her.  She may be relieved to not have to do it anymore. 
  • I agree that honesty is the best policy, but any suggestions of HOW to say it though? I feel like there is no nice way to say it
    "I appreciate the offer, but I booked my appointment with someone else.... how's that sandwich?"
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