Attire and Accessories

FOB attire?!

rmprather4rmprather4
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edited June 2015 in Attire and Accessories
My fiance will be wearing this, plus a vest, in our wedding. Groomsmen will wear same thing, but minus the jacket (so basically gray pants, white button down, gray vest, burgundy tie). What should my dad wear? I don't want him to look identical, but I do want him to coordinate. The wedding ceremony will be held at a lodge in January, by a beautiful outdoor fireplace. The reception will be at the same location in their reception hall. Think rustic elegance. Thanks in advance for your help guys!

Re: FOB attire?!

  • emmaaaemmaaa North Carolina
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    Your dad can wear whatever he likes. I think a classic black suit or a dark gray suit would look good.

  • mikenbergermikenberger In a f'n cornfield
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    My fiance will be wearing this, plus a vest, in our wedding. Groomsmen will wear same thing, but minus the jacket (so basically gray pants, white button down, gray vest, burgundy tie). What should my dad wear? I don't want him to look identical, but I do want him to coordinate. The wedding ceremony will be held at a lodge in January, by a beautiful outdoor fireplace. The reception will be at the same location in their reception hall. Think rustic elegance. Thanks in advance for your help guys!
    Your Dad can wear whatever he wants to wear. He can wear whatever color he wants. 

    I would recommend maintaining the same level of "formality" amongst your groom and groomsmen. So they would also need a jacket or your fiance should wear a jacket as well. But to each their own. But your Dad can wear whatever. 

    And rustic elegance is NOT a thing. It doesn't even make sense.

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  • Since your dad is not part of the wedding party, it would be rude for you to dictate his attire. If he asks you what you want him to wear (as my MIL did a million times), just say "I'm sure anything you pick out would be fine."

    He's a grown man and can dress himself for his daughter's wedding.
    *********************************************************************************

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    doeydo
  • NowIamMrsKleinNowIamMrsKlein Cold Canadian North (British Columbia)
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    What does your dad want to wear? Just like you can't dictate what the MOB and MOG wear, you can't dictate what your dad wears.

    That being said, perhaps show him what the guys are wearing 'Hey dad, this is what the guys are wearing, in case you needed an idea of what to wear' and then leave it be.

    My dad asked me what I wanted him to wear, I told him to wear whatever he wanted, whatever he felt comfortable in. He came along when the guys went suit shopping and really liked what they picked out. He decided that he wanted to wear something similar so he booked an appointment to rent something similar to theirs. This was fully his decision and he was fully aware that he could have worn something he already owned.

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  • rmprather4rmprather4
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    edited June 2015

    I totally agree that my dad can wear whatever he wants!  I didn't tell him to wear anything in particular; he asked me because he wants to coordinate and needs fashion advice haha.

    Mikenberger, "rustic elegance" would make sense if you saw the venue. It's all semantics anyways! :) My fiance is choosing what he wants he and his guys to wear - so the suit for himself and vest-only for the groomsmen is all his idea.

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  • kvrunskvruns
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
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    my dad wanted to match (more or less) and the groom and groomsmen were all in black suits.  I told my dad that and said if he had a black suit that would be great but if he had another color already that would be ok too no need to buy anything.  He had a lighter gray and a charcoal gray (that was basically black) and asked me which to do and I had him wear the darker one.  H told his dad they were all going to be in black and if he had a black suit that would be great.

    Your dad would be fine in a gray suit similar to the others or if he already has a black one I'd let him wear that, it will go just fine.

  • CMGragainCMGragain
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
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    edited June 2015
    Your Dad should wear a suit - any suit. 
    Your groomsmen should also wear suits because that is what your groom will be wearing. He chose this. Shirtsleeves are not proper.  How are they going to wear boutonnieres without a lapel to pin them on?  Vests are accessories, not a substitute for proper jackets.  They are also hot and uncomfortable.
    "Rustic elegance" is not a dress code.  Your wedding is formal, semi-formal, or informal, and the men should dress accordingly.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
  • VulgarGirlVulgarGirl Desert Oasis
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    CMGragain said:
    Your Dad should wear a suit - any suit. 
    Your groomsmen should also wear suits because that is what your groom will be wearing.  Shirtsleeves are not proper.  How are they going to wear boutonnieres without a lapel to pin them on?  Vests are accessories, not a substitute for proper jackets.  They are also hot and uncomfortable.
    "Rustic elegance" is not a dress code.
    Maybe they aren't going to wear boutonnieres. I know. It's just wacky!
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  • VulgarGirlVulgarGirl Desert Oasis
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    I totally agree that my dad can wear whatever he wants!  I didn't tell him to wear anything in particular; he asked me because he wants to coordinate and needs fashion advice haha.

    Mikenberger, "rustic elegance" would make sense if you saw the venue. It's all semantics anyways! :) My fiance is choosing what he wants he and his guys to wear - so the suit for himself and vest-only for the groomsmen is all his idea.

    Well...what color do you like your dad best in? I love my dad in blue. So even though all our guys were in red/black, my dad wore a black suit with a blue shirt and blue tie. And my wife's step-dad wore purple, because he does look good in purple. A purple shirt, not a whole purple suit, but her dad wore black/red. 

    If you're up for it maybe you can offer to go shopping with him? Make a father/daughter of it?
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  • Just have your father wear a suit, and if you really want him to compliment, match, you can buy him a tie that coordinates or matches.
  • lovesclimbinglovesclimbing Alaska
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    CMGragain said:
    Your Dad should wear a suit - any suit. 
    Your groomsmen should also wear suits because that is what your groom will be wearing. He chose this. Shirtsleeves are not proper.  How are they going to wear boutonnieres without a lapel to pin them on?  Vests are accessories, not a substitute for proper jackets.  They are also hot and uncomfortable.
    "Rustic elegance" is not a dress code.  Your wedding is formal, semi-formal, or informal, and the men should dress accordingly.
    Most people who go the sans jacket route pin them to the dress shirt. Google "groomsmen without jackets" and you'll get a lot of results.

  • I am also having a January wedding! My dad was nervous about what to wear as well. He kept asking FH and I what we should wear and we kept telling him, "Whatever you want! We want you to feel comfortable! It's your choice!" But he wasn't satisfied with that answer. This past week I noticed Men's Warehouse was having a sale so we all went together (My dad, FH, and myself). He got measured, the consultant pulled out a jacket, he put it on, it looked great. He asked what color shirt he should wear, I said it didn't matter. He pushed, and I suggested a white shirt. He wound up picking blue because that's what he prefers. I entirely let him pick out what he wanted but I think he needed support.

    Also, I don't think my groomsmen will be wearing bouts. I'm just not a fan of them. Did OP even mention the GM were wearing them? She may skip them altogether or just pin them on the shirt.


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    rmprather4
  • Why wouldn't they all wear jackets if it's outside in January?
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's
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    edited June 2015

    CMGragain said:
    Your Dad should wear a suit - any suit. 
    Your groomsmen should also wear suits because that is what your groom will be wearing. He chose this. Shirtsleeves are not proper.  How are they going to wear boutonnieres without a lapel to pin them on?  Vests are accessories, not a substitute for proper jackets.  They are also hot and uncomfortable.
    "Rustic elegance" is not a dress code.  Your wedding is formal, semi-formal, or informal, and the men should dress accordingly.
    Most people who go the sans jacket route pin them to the dress shirt. Google "groomsmen without jackets" and you'll get a lot of results.
    Yeah and it looks completely ridiculous.  If you don't wear a jacket then you shouldn't wear a bout.

    STARMOON44southernbelle0915CMGragain
  • lovesclimbinglovesclimbing Alaska
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    edited June 2015

    CMGragain said:
    Your Dad should wear a suit - any suit. 
    Your groomsmen should also wear suits because that is what your groom will be wearing. He chose this. Shirtsleeves are not proper.  How are they going to wear boutonnieres without a lapel to pin them on?  Vests are accessories, not a substitute for proper jackets.  They are also hot and uncomfortable.
    "Rustic elegance" is not a dress code.  Your wedding is formal, semi-formal, or informal, and the men should dress accordingly.
    Most people who go the sans jacket route pin them to the dress shirt. Google "groomsmen without jackets" and you'll get a lot of results.
    Yeah and it looks completely ridiculous.  If you don't wear a jacket then you shouldn't wear a bout.
    Oh, I know it's not the perfectly proper way to wear it; I'm just saying how people generally do it. And, I honestly don't mind the look that much. I guess I'm just used to it.


























    That's what I had at my wedding.

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    hellohkbpinupbride6189
  • I like the idea of a father daughter date to help him out!

    Thank for being undertanding hellohkb, that's exactly how my dad has been. I promise I'm not controlling! Haha.


  • I would have him wear a black or gray suit with a dark tie.
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