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Selecting Bridesmaids

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Re: Selecting Bridesmaids

  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
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    TrixieJess said:
    Jen4948 said:
    KatWAG said:
     
    Jen4948 said:
    TrixieJess said:
    Jen4948 said:
    TrixieJess said:
    My favourite saying that someone wrote on these boards was: your bridal party should consist of people who would help you hide and dispose of a body. 

    Sorry I don't remember who to attribute that to.
    I wouldn't use the bolded criteria.  People who would help you hide and dispose of a body are not necessarily going to be into your wedding or enjoy participating-even for your sake.  I'd use instead a combination of:

    -Who do I really feel close to?
    -Among those I really feel close to, who would enjoy it within reason?
    Should I have used Comic Sans and pink? And hell ya, my BMs would help me hide and dispose of a body. If there is food and booze too, Bonus! Lighten up @Jen4948, I was trying to give an example of the closeness factor. Also, I'm sad that you don't have anyone to help you dispose of a body in your time of need.
    How the fuck would you know that, @TrixieJess? Go be sad for your own fucking self.  I don't need your bullshit projections.  I have plenty of people I would ask to help dispose of a body.  But you know what?  They hate weddings!

    I just think that "burying a body" is not the best example of "closeness."  It has nothing the fuck to do with "being close."
    Holy overreaction Jen. Cool your tits.
    No.  I don't appreciate having "bitterness" and "feeling sad for me" bullshit projected onto me by someone I merely disagreed with. Cool your own tits.
    Calm down, I wasn't projecting anything on you. I'm sorry that you don't speak sarcasm and that your sense of humour is not in gear.

    Today it's not because I live in an area which already flooded the day after Memorial Day and is about to get hit with a tropical storm.  I can't get to work today.

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  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost member
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  • southernbelle0915southernbelle0915 mod
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    Yea, I also don't get the all of a sudden drama... 

    This analogy is used all. the. time. on these boards. Especially the wedding party board. All of the regs have been around those threads and I've never seen a melt down over it. Color me confused.
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  • southernbelle0915southernbelle0915 mod
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    VulgarGirl said:
    southernbelle0915 said:
    Yea, I also don't get the all of a sudden drama... 

    This analogy is used all. the. time. on these boards. Especially the wedding party board. All of the regs have been around those threads and I've never seen a melt down over it. Color me confused.
    Well Jen can't get to work today so there is no room for joking. Not today. NO BEING FUNNY.
    Ah, I missed that. Ok everyone..
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  • KatWAGKatWAG member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    TrixieJess said:
    Jen4948 said:
    KatWAG said:
     
    Jen4948 said:
    TrixieJess said:
    Jen4948 said:
    TrixieJess said:
    My favourite saying that someone wrote on these boards was: your bridal party should consist of people who would help you hide and dispose of a body. 

    Sorry I don't remember who to attribute that to.
    I wouldn't use the bolded criteria.  People who would help you hide and dispose of a body are not necessarily going to be into your wedding or enjoy participating-even for your sake.  I'd use instead a combination of:

    -Who do I really feel close to?
    -Among those I really feel close to, who would enjoy it within reason?
    Should I have used Comic Sans and pink? And hell ya, my BMs would help me hide and dispose of a body. If there is food and booze too, Bonus! Lighten up @Jen4948, I was trying to give an example of the closeness factor. Also, I'm sad that you don't have anyone to help you dispose of a body in your time of need.
    How the fuck would you know that, @TrixieJess? Go be sad for your own fucking self.  I don't need your bullshit projections.  I have plenty of people I would ask to help dispose of a body.  But you know what?  They hate weddings!

    I just think that "burying a body" is not the best example of "closeness."  It has nothing the fuck to do with "being close."
    Holy overreaction Jen. Cool your tits.
    No.  I don't appreciate having "bitterness" and "feeling sad for me" bullshit projected onto me by someone I merely disagreed with. Cool your own tits.
    Calm down, I wasn't projecting anything on you. I'm sorry that you don't speak sarcasm and that your sense of humour is not in gear.

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  • ViczaesarViczaesar member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    VulgarGirl said:
    southernbelle0915 said:
    Yea, I also don't get the all of a sudden drama... 

    This analogy is used all. the. time. on these boards. Especially the wedding party board. All of the regs have been around those threads and I've never seen a melt down over it. Color me confused.
    Well Jen can't get to work today so there is no room for joking. Not today. NO BEING FUNNY.
    Which makes me wonder what the excuse is on all the other days that Jen overreacts and escalates things quickly...



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  • SP29SP29 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Also- just because you ask someone to be in your WP doesn't mean that they have to accept if weddings are SO not their thing. 

    OP- I wouldn't ask this friend just because you *feel* like you should. 

    I also agree not to ask your WP too early in advance. Relationships can change quickly. 

    There have been a few instances on here where brides have posted about how they picked their BMs a year + in advance and now 2 months before the wedding are having "issues" with one of the BMs "that they didn't even really want to ask in the first place". Not saying this is you OP (because you seem cool and reasonable), just that it seems when someone chooses someone out of obligation and that person isn't as invested as the bride would have hoped (probably because the two aren't super close), feelings get hurt on both sides. 
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  • LabLove86LabLove86 member
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  • scoettoscoetto member
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    My two cents? Don't have a bridal party and let everyone enjoy themselves as a guest.
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  • justsiejustsie member
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    Someone beat me to the tits gif. I vow that cannot happen again.

    OP I agree with most PP, don't ask until you are at most 9 months out of your wedding and ask people that you know you couldn't get married without them there. Don't ask just because someone else asked you.
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  • stephanie59hickmanstephanie59hickman member
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    I can't give you any advice on who to choose as they are your friends and family and only you can choose who you want standing with you on your wedding day. However, I will say that from my personal experience, you should not ask someone who you know is unreliable or constantly stirring up trouble to be in your WP. I asked a now former friend from high school, whom I had been friends with for a little longer than my FI and I have known each other, to be a BM and she was more than upset about the fact that she wasn't the MOH. Essentially, she wanted to be the most important person at my wedding and the role of bride was already taken so anything less than MOH was not acceptable to her. I tried to explain to her that I still wanted her to be in the WP and it would mean a lot to me to have her there but she wasn't having it. After a lot of re-evaluation of our friendship, I realized that she had never treated me like a friend so much as her personal cheerleader and ego-booster (plus my FI has known her for as long as I have and he can barely stand her). She eventually declined to be in the WP which in the long run was probably for the best. We haven't spoken since then. So my word of caution is to be very careful in who you choose and not just base it off of who you've known the longest or any other arbitrary reason.
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