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  • ViczaesarViczaesar member
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    nsho4 said:
    Hello,

    I am hoping you experienced and smart knotties can proof these invitations and provide any feedback. I want to convey casual vibe, but want to give everyone the info they need. I know adding registry info is highly controversial - etiquette vs personal preference. I've been teetering on it, too.

    Let me know if you think these are okay. I modified the wording on the RSVP card (both front and back pics are attached) since we don't need RSVPs by a certain date and are not offering food options. We are doing food trucks and the price is the same after a certain # of folks. In addition, the back of the RSVP card originally listed the bridal party names, but I would prefer to not waste paper if it's reasonable to add the hotel and maybe the registry info to the back.

    If I take out the registry info, is there anything else you see I'm missing that could go in that space? We are not doing a separate ceremony so won't need that name or location info. I'm planning to work out a plan to do the ceremony during the reception.

    Thank you!
    Registry information on the invitation is not controversial, it's straight up wrong.  You never say anything about presents in any way on a wedding invitation, period.  It is not okay to indicate that you are expecting gifts.



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  • nsho4nsho4 member
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    edited July 2015
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  • CMGragainCMGragain member
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    "You are invited to celebrate the union of..."  What?  Is this supposed to be a wedding invitation, or is it an invitation to a party celebrating a marriage that has already taken place?  Informal wording is fine, but it must be clear.  I would be very confused with this wording.

    How about "You are invited to the wedding of.......", instead?  Is there going to be a reception?  Your invitation does not make this clear.

    The others are correct.  Never, ever put registry information anywhere within a wedding invitation.  Ewww!

    Personally, I dislike the "Eat, drink and be married"  It is a very old and tired joke, but if this is what you really want, go ahead.

    You need a date on your RSVP for receiving final responses.  Actually, you don't need the RSVP card at all.  Just put R.s.v.p. e-mail/phone number at the bottom of the invitation.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
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  • libride2015libride2015 member
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    nsho4 I think your invitation is adorable! - I understand why you might have put union of in that line- maybe because it says "be married" at the top? 

    Because you arent asking them to mail their responses back I agree with @CMGragain - just place it at the bottom of the invitation - you have plenty of room and when you guide them to your website hopefully your registry information will be on there as well as your accommodations! 

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  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
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    With the "eat, drink and be married" - you're not inviting anyone else to get married at your wedding, so I wouldn't use this line.

    Also lose the registry information.  Nothing whatsoever about gifts should ever be included in an invitation.

    I also wouldn't use the RSVP card.  I'd just put that at the bottom of your invitation with your phone number, email address, and a deadline date.

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  • frenchiekinfrenchiekin member
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    Ditto PPs on the registry info.  I also agree you don't need a separate RSVP card if you are only taking emails/phone calls/website for RSVPs.  I believe the point of the RSVP card is for when the guests need to fill them out and mail them back.  Save the money.

    I do think you should have an RSVP-by date.  The food trucks may not need an exact hard count once you reach a certain number, but how will you know how many chairs/tables/place settings to set up, etc?  What date would you start following up with guests to see whether they are coming if they haven't responded already?  I would maybe put a week before or something.

    I also find the "to verify attendance" a little off-putting for some reason... it almost sounds too business-like or something?  


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  • nsho4nsho4 member
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    edited July 2015
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  • nsho4nsho4 member
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    edited July 2015
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  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot member
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    nsho4 said:
    Good advice - thank you everyone! I will cut it down to one card.

    On a side question... for you who etiquette buffs... is it ever appropriate to request no gifts? Or best practice to have one/two registry options? Asking for cash for a house or honeymoon seems wrong but I really haven't researched it yet.
    It's never acceptable to bring up gifts in any way, shape or form, even to ask for no gifts. This rule applies the same to walking up to someone as it does on an invitation. 

    If you want to register for physical gifts, that's fine. If you'd prefer cash or no gifts, skip the registry. Again, you never ask for anything. When someone asks you where you're registered, you simply say "we don't need anything, so we didn't register" or "we didn't need anything around our home, but we're saving for a down payment." 

    I also have to say that the invitation reads like it isn't to a wedding. It strikes me that this is a party to celebrate a wedding that already happened. I get that you don't want to have the traditional ceremony, but you should still communicate what you are inviting people to. If you'll be getting married, it's a wedding. 
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  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
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    edited June 2015
    nsho4 said:
    We are planning to get married mid-reception, and I like the idea of it being a union versus a ceremony, so I was trying to incorporate that idea. We won't be having a formal aisle, a wedding party entrance, parents handing off, etc. Right now I'm thinking my FI and I will walk together to the stage and get er done in a few minutes, our friend marrying us, and then play a favorite song of ours and continue mingling. NO formal dance.

    The bolded isn't what's happening.  Making whatever declaration is required for your officiant to pronounce you legally married is a "ceremony," not a "union."  The "union" is what exists once you are actually married.  There doesn't have to be an aisle walk, wedding party, parents handing you off, etc. for the "ceremony" to actually constitute a "ceremony." Your invitation needs to make clear that what your guests are being asked to witness is, in fact, the act of you and your FI actually getting married.

    As PPs have mentioned, you never mention gifts at all in a wedding invitation.  This includes registry information and "no gifts" requests. 

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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
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    How are you going to know how many chairs you need if you don't have an RSVP by date and aren't asking people to contact you?  You need a chair for every butt.  If you plan on having extras, fine.  But you NEED a chair for EVERY butt.
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  • CMGragainCMGragain member
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    edited June 2015
    nsho4 said:
    We are planning to get married mid-reception, and I like the idea of it being a union versus a ceremony, so I was trying to incorporate that idea. We won't be having a formal aisle, a wedding party entrance, parents handing off, etc. Right now I'm thinking my FI and I will walk together to the stage and get er done in a few minutes, our friend marrying us, and then play a favorite song of ours and continue mingling. NO formal dance.
    When my husband saw your wording, he said "WTF!  Are they inviting people to witness their honeymoon (consumation)?"
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
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  • CMGragainCMGragain member
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    edited June 2015
    nsho4 said:
    Good advice - thank you everyone! I will cut it down to one card.

    On a side question... for you who etiquette buffs... is it ever appropriate to request no gifts? Or best practice to have one/two registry options? Asking for cash for a house or honeymoon seems wrong but I really haven't researched it yet.
    You NEVER mention gifts of any kind within your invitation.  Honeymoon and house registries are considered to be very rude - like asking for money.  Saying "no gifts" indicates that you are expecting gifts, so this is also rude.
    You may put your registry information on your wedding website.  Nowhere else!
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
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  • nsho4nsho4 member
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    edited July 2015
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  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
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    nsho4 said:
    So I can put the registry info on my wedding website, and it has to be a store like Target or Bed Bath and Beyond? No honeymoon/house registries even there?

    Thanks for your help! I'm working on a new invitation and have scrapped the initial one uploaded here :)

    I don't know what you mean by "house registries", but we don't recommend those "honeyfunds."  First of all, they don't actually pay for your honeymoon.  They are merely a way to forward cash to you, and it is not appropriate to request cash.  Second, those funds collect a percentage of the take as their "fee" so you don't even get 100% of the contributions.  On top of the rudeness of asking for cash, many people don't want to pay some third party to give you a gift that they could give directly to you if they choose to give you cash.

    It is okay to have registry links on your wedding website, but I am personally not a fan of this.  To me at least it still comes off as anticipating that you should receive gifts and telling people about your preferences before they ask you.  There are those that disagree, though.

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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
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    nsho4 said:
    So I can put the registry info on my wedding website, and it has to be a store like Target or Bed Bath and Beyond? No honeymoon/house registries even there?

    Thanks for your help! I'm working on a new invitation and have scrapped the initial one uploaded here :)
    Even before the internets and wedding websites existed, people knew how to find your registry.  And they know how to ask you what color towels you'd prefer.  People will ask (you, your mom, your future father-in-law, your best friend) if they want to know where you're registered and can't find it.   No honeymoon/house registries because those are requests for cash and you don't even get the entire amount.  No, grandma isn't getting you a swim with dolphins, she's giving you $150 cash minus the 7% fee the honeyfund takes.
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  • nsho4nsho4 member
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    edited July 2015
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  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot member
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    nsho4 said:
    So I can put the registry info on my wedding website, and it has to be a store like Target or Bed Bath and Beyond? No honeymoon/house registries even there?

    Thanks for your help! I'm working on a new invitation and have scrapped the initial one uploaded here :)
    It's generally acceptable to put registries on you website, although a lot of people are uncomfortable with even that.

    It's rude to have a cash/honeymoon registry at all. It doesn't matter whether you post it or not. 
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  • Knottie56088643Knottie56088643 member
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    Hi! I agree with some of the other posters that it should spell out if there is a reception, dinner, etc on the invitation.

    For the RSVP card and back, here's my suggestion: 
    Side 1: List wedding website link (link to your registry on your wedding website, since it seems like that's what you want to do) 
    Give RSVP info and deadline
    Side 2: Hotel accommodations info (maybe you could even add info about your room block, reservation date, etc)


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  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
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    Knottie56088643 said:

    Hi! I agree with some of the other posters that it should spell out if there is a reception, dinner, etc on the invitation.


    For the RSVP card and back, here's my suggestion: 
    Side 1: List wedding website link (link to your registry on your wedding website, since it seems like that's what you want to do) 
    Give RSVP info and deadline
    Side 2: Hotel accommodations info (maybe you could even add info about your room block, reservation date, etc)


    Since there always needs to be a reception following the ceremony no matter what, all that is necessary is either one line reading "Reception to follow" at the bottom of the invitation if it's at the ceremony venue, or a separate insert that reads "Reception/Immediately following the ceremony/Venue Name/Venue Address/City, State" if it's at another location. But there is no description of the hospitality provided at the reception, such as "dinner and dancing."
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