Ceromony date problems.

Yuri_34 · July 2010

My boyfriend and i are not engaged yet because we are still in college and dont want a 2 year engagment. We have been talking about it and feel it is alright to start looking into things as we do know, it will happen in the next 3 years. Heres my problem.

We are looking at the date of May 7th 2013 because it seems everything in our lives center around it. Is very important to us. It is when he first asked me out when i was 15, and it seems it is always a lucky day for us no matter what. (we are some what religious about it haha.) The only problem is that is falls on a Tuesday.

My mother said that alot of people might not be able to go because it is simi in the middle of the week and i have consitered changing it to the 10th.But everything i mention it to my BF he says he is strongly against it, and he doesnt care if alot of people might not be able to come, it will lower our bill.

It is important for my family and friends to be there, and i would like to have everyone there as I would be the first grandchild on my fathers side to get married. I love the date of may 7th and have never thought about any other date.

So im asking, do you think alot of people might skip out on it because it is on a tuesday, and is it a better day to change it to a Friday?

melliott09 · July 2010

If it's that important to you guys, then do it, but don't be surprised when a lot of family and friends don't show because it's on a weekday.

I am having a weekday destination wedding. My family and FI's family will be on vacation with us, so we scheduled it then.

Unless you do something similar to that, I think your guests would be hesitant. It will be cheaper for you, but many people may not show.

trix1223 · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_ceromony-date-problems?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:43be7182-038d-42fb-9615-b2f45aa6f50aPost:fbcd0192-45c4-409b-8ad1-e719c42e3cd8">Ceromony date problems.</a>:
[QUOTE]My boyfriend and i are not engaged yet because we are still in college and dont want a 2 year engagment. We have been talking about it and feel it is alright to start looking into things as we do know, it will happen in the next 3 years. Heres my problem. We are looking at the date of May 7th 2013 because it seems everything in our lives center around it. Is very important to us. It is when he first asked me out when i was 15, and it seems it is always a lucky day for us no matter what. (we are some what religious about it haha.) The only problem is that is falls on a Tuesday. My mother said that alot of people might not be able to go because it is simi in the middle of the week and i have consitered changing it to the 10th.But everything i mention it to my BF he says he is strongly against it, and he doesnt care if alot of people might not be able to come, it will lower our bill. It is important for my family and friends to be there, and i would like to have everyone there as I would be the first grandchild on my fathers side to get married. I love the date of may 7th and have never thought about any other date. So im asking, do you think alot of people might skip out on it because it is on a tuesday, and is it a better day to change it to a Friday?
Posted by Yuri_34[/QUOTE]

You're so completely putting the cart before the horse here that it's hard to write a serious response. But I'll try.

#1: Why are you worrying about choosing a date before you're engaged?

#2: Why are you choosing a date that's at least 3 years away?

#3: Why are you choosing a date before you know that a church and/or reception venue are even available?

#4: You're stuck on a random date from something that happened when you were 15 years old, and because it's "lucky"? Really? Won't the date you get married also be special and a "lucky" day for you both?

#5: If you consider a date ona calendar more important to you than having guests at your wedding, then I really have nothing for you. Because chances are pretty overwhelming that you won't have both: a Tuesday wedding and a good turn-out of your family and friends to share your wedding with you.

#6: Did I mention that you're not engaged yet?

Lisa8888 · July 2010

I agree with trix.

Ashes_3 · July 2010

I think that he is right, many people won't be able to make it. But as PP said, it is a little early to be choosing. Maybe something else will happen that will make another day "lucky" & then you won't have to worry about changing it!

twilight.rose · July 2010

Agree with PP that you're thinking about this way too far ahead of time.

Although, if you and your BF select a date that you agree to be married on, you will be, for all intents and purposes, engaged, whether or not there is a ring on your finger at that time. An engagement is essentially just an agreement of two persons to be married at a specific date/time.

aerinpegadrak · July 2010

Everything in my life seems to center around the 17th of the month. Our wedding date? The 23rd. Because that's what worked best. I've never understood why people get so fixated on a particular date even when it's inconvenient for the other people involved in the wedding, it just seems kind of immature.

If the date is really that important to you, you probably wouldn't mind waiting until 2016 when it falls on a Saturday. That way you can get your family and friends and can still get the date that you want. If it's that important, surely waiting six years is a small sacrifice to make?

Yuri_34 · July 2010

Not to be rude but a lot of your posts are about me not being engaged. It is true that i do not have a ring on my finger, but in all other sense we are committed to each other and plan on getting married some time in the near future. We have discussed how far away it is and feel that we should start saving now that way we can have the wedding of our dreams. We have decided on a venue and have a tour tomorrow morning at 10.

We are in school, I am starting my second program in September that is 2 years long and my boyfriend will be finishing his program up next year. As stated above we would like to finish our program before we get hitched, but we feel it is better to get all the information now that way we are not running around last minute (as we tend to do with assignments)

Perhaps I was also wrong to say that May 7^th is a ‘lucky date” for us. What I meant to say was that it was ideal for us to have our wedding on that date, and I simply wanted to know from the outside world if you believe that it would cause problems for the guests.

trix1223 I sure you are a very nice person but perhaps you can answer the question and keep your own rude opinions to your self.Also next time you feel the need to give your non- related opinion you might want to ask for all the facts and not just go off what you think is valid. I am aware that I am not engaged but should that stop me from being able to ask a simple question? As for the “date of the wedding coming before the guests” If you read it correctly you would understand that that was a remark that my BF made and not of my self.

jenellsrevenge · July 2010

It honestly sounds like you don't want to hear the truth. No matter how you look at it, a wedding during the week is going to keep some guests from being able to attend. What is more important to you? Sharing it with those you love or a certain date?

trix1223 · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_ceromony-date-problems?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:43be7182-038d-42fb-9615-b2f45aa6f50aPost:4826090c-80f1-4d98-bf0b-8af31937e3ea">Re: Ceromony date problems.</a>:

[QUOTE]Not to be rude but a lot of your posts are about me not being engaged. Well. goodness, why would we post about your not being engaged? Could it be that it's because that was the first sentence of your OP? The one where you wrote: My boyfriend and i are not engaged yet because we are still in college and dont want a 2 year engagment.

It is true that i do not have a ring on my finger, but in all other sense we are committed to each other and plan on getting married some time in the near future. We have discussed how far away it is and feel that we should start saving now that way we can have the wedding of our dreams. We have decided on a venue and have a tour tomorrow morning at 10. We are in school, I am starting my second program in September that is 2 years long and my boyfriend will be finishing his program up next year. As stated above we would like to finish our program before we get hitched, but we feel it is better to get all the information now that way we are not running around last minute (as we tend to do with assignments)

Perhaps I was also wrong to say that May 7 th is a ‘lucky date” for us. Again, we are responding to exactly what you wrote: YOU said: and it seems it is always a lucky day for us no matter what.


What I meant to say was that it was ideal for us to have our wedding on that date, and I simply wanted to know from the outside world if you believe that it would cause problems for the guests. And you got the answer from everyone, that yes, choosing a date over guests is immature. And following that up with what you told us about your bf's opinion: But everything i mention it to my BF he says he is strongly against it, and he doesnt care if alot of people might not be able to come, it will lower our bill. What you wrote in your follow up doesn't do anything to change my mind about the maturity of the decision.


@ trix1223 I sure you are a very nice person but perhaps you can answer the question and keep your own rude opinions to your self. This is a public message board. When you put a question out, people are free to answer and to give advice, as I did. You cannot tell people how to respond or what they can say. 

Also next time you feel the need to give your non- related opinion you might want to ask for all the facts and not just go off what you think is valid. I responded to what you wrote. None of us are mind readers. We can only respond to what you actually wrote, not what you thought you meant. 

I am aware that I am not engaged but should that stop me from being able to ask a simple question? Not at all. And it doesn't stop anyone from giving you a simple answer either.

As for the “date of the wedding coming before the guests” If you read it correctly you would understand that that was a remark that my BF made and not of my self. And I was, as were other, responding to your original question: So im asking, do you think alot of people might skip out on it because it is on a tuesday, and is it a better day to change it to a Friday? You asked the question, not your bf in the post. So we responded to you and your question.
Posted by Yuri_34[/QUOTE]

People weren't rude to you. You got responses to your question. You didn't like the responses, I'm guessing, but no one was rude. And just for future reference: it's cerEmony, not ceromony.

jenn.daniel · July 2010

If you really only wanted to know what we thought about getting married on a Tuesday, you could have asked, "Do you think a lot of people would be unable to attend our wedding if we have it on a Tuesday?" No other info. To answer the short question, I would have to say unless I was local, I couldn't be able to attend a Tuesday wedding unless it were for a VERY close friend.

You don't have to have a ring to be engaged, but having a date and location does essentially make you engaged.

Trix has already written everything else I would have. Read that again. She wasn't being rude, btw.

andy71781 · July 2010

Perhaps I was also wrong to say that May 7^th is a ‘lucky date” for us. What I meant to say was that it was ideal for us to have our wedding on that date, and I simply wanted to know from the outside world if you believe that it would cause problems for the guests.

How so? How is your date ideal if your guests can come? How is it ideal if you don't know if the venue you want is acceptable? How is it ideal if you aren't 100% you'll be engaged by then?!?!?

Seriously - cart before horse. I'm not even the type to judge booking the hall before you are engaged but come on - three years?

nda_roxybabe · July 2010

Hi, I'm not engaged either (I'm thinking maybe you'll see that as a good thing?).
I can tell you though, theres no sense setting a date now for something that wont happen for a couple years. Seriously, just wait.
We would love to get married on our dating anniversary but if it falls on a week day, its not happening. We can get married that weekend before or after and just have an "anniversary week".

Weekdays are not a good time to get married, it really, really limits people from coming and honestly, it just looks kind of odd.

megk8oz · July 2010

I can't think of a single thing to say that the PPs haven't covered (Including Trix, who was not rude to you, she just didn't validate you. Big difference).

Wait until you're actually engaged to set a date. In 2 years, you could both decide that having guests attend is more important than what the calendar says, amongst many other decisions you might make between now and then.

Bistti · July 2010

I am doing a Tuesday wedding, and we expect most people not to show, But we are having the reception/celebration party on the Friday! That way people can still help us celebrate!

We picked our day because it's when we started going out as well. Dispite what others have said people that love and care for you will try to come. We are having a later ceremony and my parents and family are taking the day or afternoon off!

megan0215 · July 2010

Well... If you two really think it's a wonderful lucky day (and idk if anyone mentioned this) you could go and get the marriage license on that day and then set the ceremony for another date. When you go for the license, you have the option to get married that same day. Maybe you could look into having a JOP wedding and then having a ceremony and reception for your family and friends. I'm not sure how common it is, but it's been suggested to me by some people because of the situation I'm in with my fiance. But I agree with some of the posts I did read in that you should probably not worry so much about that particular date. You could also push the date up to year when it falls on a Saturday, next year perhaps. As you get more involved in planning your lives together and you officially become engaged, things like the guest list will become more important and you'll learn that the date is relevant for booking the venues and making sure guests can be there to see you two on your big day. I'm afraid you may be missing the concept of a wedding. It's a celebration of love and unity. You two are in love because it was meant to be, not because you agreed to date on May 7th. Give it time, your date problem will work itself out. It'll have to, or else you'll never get married.

Ceromony date problems.

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