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Let them get upset...they're out of line

mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its First Comment
in Wedding Woes

Dear Prudence,
I am a male pediatrician in a small group practice. I have two female employees, one in her 60s and one in her 40s, who are great with patients but who are both are in the habit of coming up behind me and either playfully scratching my back or rubbing my shoulders. I know it’s meant in a purely friendly way but I hate being touched (I never go for massages, etc.). I don’t want to make this a big deal because I know they will both be upset and embarrassed. But if I were the one doing the unwanted touching, I would have long ago been told not only to stop, but threatened with a harassment suit. I know it should work both ways but I’m not sure it does. We have a parent corporation with an HR department that will address this if I push it, but I’m not sure I want to. Any suggestions?

—Hands Off, Please

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Re: Let them get upset...they're out of line

  • *Barbie**Barbie* member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    "Please don't do that, I don't like to be touched." 

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  • mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its First Comment
    That meme is my everything today. 
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  • HeffalumpHeffalump member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    mrs.conn23 said:

    Dear Prudence,
    I don’t want to make this a big deal because I know they will both be upset and embarrassed. But if I were the one doing the unwanted touching, I would have long ago been told not only to stop, but threatened with a harassment suit. I know it should work both ways but I’m not sure it does. We have a parent corporation with an HR department that will address this if I push it, but I’m not sure I want to. Any suggestions?

    —Hands Off, Please

    This guy sounds like (to quote Liz Lemon), a dum-dum.  1) They don't have to be upset and embarrassed if he handles it with some amount of tact--i.e. like a grown-up, 2) I'm pretty sure he would only be threatened with a harassment suit if they asked him to stop and he didn't, whereas he hasn't said a word to them so far--apples and oranges, dude, and 3) he's not sure he wants to send it to corporate HR before he so much as says "I don't like to be touched?"  Duh.

    The only awkward thing here is that they're going to wonder why he hasn't said anything before, but not much to be done about that now.
    �
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  • MesmrEweMesmrEwe member
    First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper

    Book smart - reality dumb....  What would he tell a patient to do!?!?!? 

    The simple "hey, I'm not a touchy-feely kind of guy, can you knock it off with the touching!"..  Something tells me he never learned the basics of establishing his own personal space...

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