Is this song appropriate?

geminimama16 · June 2015

Ok, a little BG here because, it matters. My FH is divorced. He married young, felt it was the next step and feels now that he was pressured into doing what was "right" at the time (no, she wasn't pregnant, her father was a pastor). Things were never great between them, soon after the wedding she began to show signs of mental illness and refused to get any help. After 2 kids, she went into a tailspin. Neglected the kids, was violent towards FH, and spoke of "ending them all". He decided that he had to take action, got a PFA, got her into a hospital, and filed for divorce. It's been a few years since then, he and I reconnected 2 years ago and have been together since. In case you're wondering, his ex has gotten the help she needs and is healthy and doing well now. However, his parents are very nervous about this wedding. His mother in particular has a big fear that the same thing will happen and their family will be in shambles again. This leads me to asking about this song that I like for the mother/son dance.... "Anyway" by Martina McBride. I'll paste the lyrics below, but it briefly mentions lost love/ended relationship. At first I thought, "oh no big deal, the point is that nothing is guaranteed but you do it anyway" but now I'm not sure that given I know this fear.. if she listens to all of the lyrics is it tasteful to use it anway? In a way, I feel it's relevant but I don't know if its bad luck or even just meh taste to dance to a song that mentions this at a wedding?

You can spend your whole life building
Something from nothin'
One storm can come and blow it all away
Build it anyway

You can chase a dream that seems so out of reach
And you know it might not ever come your way
Dream it anyway

God is great, but sometimes life ain't good
When I pray it doesn't always turn out like I think it should
But I do it anyway
I do it anyway

This world's gone crazy and it's hard to believe
That tomorrow will be better than today
Believe it anyway

You can love someone with all your heart
For all the right reasons
In a moment they can choose to walk away
Love 'em anyway

God is great, but sometimes life ain't good
When I pray it doesn't always turn out like I think it should
But I do it anyway
Yeah, I do it anyway

You can pour your soul out singing a song you believe in
That tomorrow they'll forget you ever sang
Sing it anyway
Yeah, sing it anyway

I sing, I dream
I love
Anyway

aliwis000 · June 2015

Your FMIL and your FH should pick the song they dance to. Or if they do not want to dance at all that is ok too. If someone asks your opinion you should probably just say "whatever you guys want, this is your song." Rinse and repeat.

photokitty · June 2015

Yep. They should pick the song not you...unless you and your dad will be dancing to the same song. We did that to cut down on spotlight daneed. Otherwise, you and your dad pick your song and fi and fmil pick theirs.

climbingsingle · June 2015

Let them pick out their own song. Also, are you sure they want to do a spotlight dance?

Knottie1430965129 · June 2015

Agreed with PP, mother and son should pick what they dance to, it should have meaning for the relationship they have. FI chose a surprise song for he and his mom, Lynyrd Skynyrd "Simple Man" because his dad left when he was 3 and it was just the two of them until she met his step-dad when he was a teenager.

geminimama16 · July 2015

The plan is to do a combined mother/son and father/daughter type thing for both dances. This meaning, that while FI is dancing with his mother I will be dancing with my son. While I am dancing with my father, FI will be dancing with his two daughters. FI and his mother have both said they do not care what the song is for either dance (and plainly, neither of them care either way if they dance or not but I feel like it's stupid for me to dance with my father and my son while FI does not dance at all - and these two things are very important to me). FI asked me to just choose since they can't seem to think of any songs with particular meaning to them... but I don't want to possibly offend his mother or other family who might pick up on it and fuss.

I do also love "Simple Man"... but I know that's not really their style. Much more of a country music family.

KnottieBoots · July 2015

I wouldn't touch it with a ten foot barge pole. Emphasize the positive all day long instead, IMO. Don't needlessly provoke or trigger emotional reactions in anyone. The wedding ought to be about looking ahead to the future, not looking back at a train wreck that didn't even involve you.

Is this song appropriate?

Re: Is this song appropriate?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards