Destination Weddings Discussions

Questions for someone who has attended/had a DW (HELP!)

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Re: Questions for someone who has attended/had a DW (HELP!)

  • It sounds like the fee is solely for doing the extra "wedding-related" work. So, that makes sense. Yes, most resorts have onsite wedding coordinators that you can work with directly. However, some people probably wouldn't mind passing it off to the travel agent. I imagine her services would be working directly with wedding coordinator, instead of you having to work directly with them. That could be a pro or a con depending on how much control you want. I would ask what services you get with the extra fee and it might be that they can negotiate different things when they work directly with the resort.

     







  • So far I've been to 3 DW's in Bali (Indonesia), Jamaica (Sandals), and Costa Rica (Riu resort). Plus other "destinations" in Arizona and Lake Louise (Fairmont hotel).

    Two of them were two of my best friends, and one was my fiance's best friend. At all three of them we had a blast. I wish I could have done a DW, but it didn't work for our situation/family. 

    All inclusive makes it a lot easier for guests, not having to worry about food, things to do, etc. 

    Personally, we didn't end up going with a DW because my fiance's mom has Alzheimer's and it would just be too difficult to get her traveling. Plus with some elderly relatives same thing, and we were worried if someone had a stroke or something in a foreign country it would really put a damper on our wedding (and everyone would remember forever that grandma had a stroke at shelikespink's wedding!).. plus the costs ended up being pretty steep for a minimal amount of guests (travel, dress, DJ, decor, flowers, hair and makeup, cake, extra fees, gratuities, upgrades, etc.). It ended up being much cheaper (per person attending) to do it at home.
  • Everyone!!! Thank you for your reply's!!! Sorry I did not get back sooner!!! Your input was very helpful and I'm booked! I will reply to each comment -- let me just figure out how to do so.

    Also, does anyone know how to fix this so I get notifications when people reply? 
  • OK so it's not really letting me reply to each individual person without being a pain.  Long story short I REALLY Appreciate your feedback!!  

    We did end up booking our wedding for next May '16 in the Bahamas!!! The beginning stages of research and picking a location/resort I felt was pretty awful. I can imagine similar to the endless research on vendors for weddings in the States. However, since then it has been pretty seamless.

    So to answer my own questions and add some color:

    1. We did choose an all inclusive resort. We don't want people to worry about having money once away. People are free to stay somewhere else, but I'm happy that most people are staying on site to spend more time with us. 
    2. Nassau, Bahamas is where we chose. It's easy enough for people to get to for a long weekend, if they choose. Also, people can not be confined to just the resort as it's safe enough to leave. 
    3. "Free Wedding" -- I know this was a VERY opinionated topic. I appreciate the good, bad and indifferent. To have a private wedding ceremony, cocktail hour and reception they need to hire additional staff to kick this off, but I would rather pay more for private than a reception with random people. if we book a certain amount of rooms (20+) the private dinner for guests staying at the resort is comped, but we pay per person for everything else - apps, open bar, tables, desserts, plus the other standard stuff like gift bags, DJ, steel drum band  at cocktail hour, photographer, flowers, décor etc. Guests staying off of the resort we pay per person for dinner and all the above. 
    4. We did get a travel agent and it has been a huge life saver. We do not pay a fee for her services and neither do our guests - the resort does. I wouldn't use someone that charged people MORE. 
    5. Recommend -- that is TBD. So far, no regrets. A couple times I have thought oh man this person can't make it - but you have to go into it knowing some can't! and then some who you don't think will come do!! We have 44 guests booked so far and will likely have another 20-40. On this topic, most people I tell about having a DW all say "that is definitely the way to go," or " I wish i did that." Then there are people that say, "I wish I didn't spend money on a huge wedding and had that experience instead." 

    Some other notes commenting on what people mentioned:

    --VIP's: I spoke with all of my immediate family: in laws, siblings etc on them being able to come. Once they were on board (and very excited -- after our siblings were able to iron out child care from their in laws) I spoke with all of our best friends. They were all on board. After that, there was no turning back as those were the people who were important to us being there. 
    -- I sent the Save the Dates out a year in advance - after speaking with most everyone invited. I wanted to give them all the information I could to help them make a decision. Like most said, some people need to know for finances, and some need to know to plan vacation time. 

    We are very excited. 

    Now the next things we must figure out (you might see a post from me asking for advice).

    -How to get your wedding dress there?!?!? What airline. 
    -How to get RSVP's for  ALL the events that take place (welcome dinner, reception, etc).
    -Advice on the at home Welcome get together (cookout) we are throwing for those closer to us who can't come
    -How to get welcome bag items down there etc.
  • ejohnsonk said:
    OK so it's not really letting me reply to each individual person without being a pain.  Long story short I REALLY Appreciate your feedback!!  

    We did end up booking our wedding for next May '16 in the Bahamas!!! The beginning stages of research and picking a location/resort I felt was pretty awful. I can imagine similar to the endless research on vendors for weddings in the States. However, since then it has been pretty seamless.

    So to answer my own questions and add some color:

    1. We did choose an all inclusive resort. We don't want people to worry about having money once away. People are free to stay somewhere else, but I'm happy that most people are staying on site to spend more time with us. 
    2. Nassau, Bahamas is where we chose. It's easy enough for people to get to for a long weekend, if they choose. Also, people can not be confined to just the resort as it's safe enough to leave. 
    3. "Free Wedding" -- I know this was a VERY opinionated topic. I appreciate the good, bad and indifferent. To have a private wedding ceremony, cocktail hour and reception they need to hire additional staff to kick this off, but I would rather pay more for private than a reception with random people. if we book a certain amount of rooms (20+) the private dinner for guests staying at the resort is comped, but we pay per person for everything else - apps, open bar, tables, desserts, plus the other standard stuff like gift bags, DJ, steel drum band  at cocktail hour, photographer, flowers, décor etc. Guests staying off of the resort we pay per person for dinner and all the above. 
    4. We did get a travel agent and it has been a huge life saver. We do not pay a fee for her services and neither do our guests - the resort does. I wouldn't use someone that charged people MORE. 
    5. Recommend -- that is TBD. So far, no regrets. A couple times I have thought oh man this person can't make it - but you have to go into it knowing some can't! and then some who you don't think will come do!! We have 44 guests booked so far and will likely have another 20-40. On this topic, most people I tell about having a DW all say "that is definitely the way to go," or " I wish i did that." Then there are people that say, "I wish I didn't spend money on a huge wedding and had that experience instead." 

    Some other notes commenting on what people mentioned:

    --VIP's: I spoke with all of my immediate family: in laws, siblings etc on them being able to come. Once they were on board (and very excited -- after our siblings were able to iron out child care from their in laws) I spoke with all of our best friends. They were all on board. After that, there was no turning back as those were the people who were important to us being there. 
    -- I sent the Save the Dates out a year in advance - after speaking with most everyone invited. I wanted to give them all the information I could to help them make a decision. Like most said, some people need to know for finances, and some need to know to plan vacation time. 

    We are very excited. 

    Now the next things we must figure out (you might see a post from me asking for advice).

    -How to get your wedding dress there?!?!? What airline. 
    -How to get RSVP's for  ALL the events that take place (welcome dinner, reception, etc).
    -Advice on the at home Welcome get together (cookout) we are throwing for those closer to us who can't come
    -How to get welcome bag items down there etc.

    I flew WestJet to Hawaii.  No first class, so mine came onboard with me and lay flat in the overhead.  No problems whatsoever.  But those suckers are stupidly heavy to carry through the airport, so get something better than a little metal coat hanger.  Your fingers will thank you.  

    We only did RSVP's to the ceremony.  Any other events were optional.  I'd include your welcome dinner on the RSVP card, or on a separate care in the invite.  

    My Mom threw us an AHR.  It was a low key, open house in the backyard thing.  Come when you want and stay as long as you want.  She provided snacks, bevies, I did Cake Pops.  Advice - do what you can afford, have seats for all and don't make people pay for anything.  If it's over a meal time, feed them too.  Don't try to re-do your wedding for those who couldn't make it, it'll just be awkward.  

    Welcome bags, we did down there.  We brought cards, welcome letters, itinerary down with us.  Everything else, we bought in Hawaii as we included Honolulu Cookie Company samples, macadamia nuts and beach mats.  Actually, we had 1 suitcase for us, checked and 1 suitcase for wedding stuff (we had very little though).  I think we used a carry on.  If you don't mind losing stuff, check it.  If it's important, use a carry on.  Depending on how much stuff you have, pack it in your carry on bag

  • How to get your wedding dress there?!?!? What airline. - I flew Delta and carried it as a carry on. The flight attendant put it in the first class closet on the first flight, but since the second flight was so short, there was no closet and it was just laid flat on top of other's carry-ons. I've also heard of people just rolling it into a carry-on suitcase. Since you'll want it steamed and pressed when you get there, it doesn't matter if it travels and gets wrinkly. I just recommend carrying it with you instead of checking.

    -How to get RSVP's for  ALL the events that take place (welcome dinner, reception, etc). - We didn't get RSVPs for the welcome cocktails. We paid per person the week before, so it really didn't matter. As for the rehearsal, since it was just the wedding party, we did it via phone and e-mail. Everyone else who elected to come to the pirate cruise paid for themselves directly through the boat, so again, RSVPs weren't necessary. For the wedding reception, we did RSVPs like anyone else did. An RSVP card with dinner choices on it.

    -Advice on the at home Welcome get together (cookout) we are throwing for those closer to us who can't come - My parents did this after the wedding. They sent seperate invitations to a Summer BBQ (that a clipart of pigs in wedding attire). It noted it was for the fun of summer and to celebrate their expanding family. We had a cool cake, the decorations were fiesta style (we got married in Mexico), and there was a slide show of photos on laptop, but there was nothing else "wedding" about it.

    -How to get welcome bag items down there etc. - We skipped these. Extra expense we used instead to upgrade other things, and way too much hastle as the hotel wasn't accomodating with them.
    "There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness." -Friedrich Nietzsche, "On Reading and Writing"
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