Wedding Hair and Beauty

Bad haircut 4 weeks before wedding!!!! Help me!

I just posted this on a specifically hair-related forum too but I wanted to reach out here as well. 

I am in desperate need of some caring, friendly advice. And please please, as I am in enough pain, not advice of the "you never should have cut it" variety!! 

On Saturday, I went to a stylist who really butchered my hair. I had been there several times before, as they are friends of my family and my sister and mom still go there. They're top-notch professionals, probably the best in the area. In otherwords, not a cheap haircut... 

I brought pictures. I communicated, even rather exhaustively. The pics showed several angles, as well as the style I want to have done for my wedding. Yes, that's the kicker... My wedding is only a month away. 

They did not touch the length, thank God for small miracles(!). But the layers, omg... the layers are terrorized all the way to hell. The stylist explained to me what had to be done to achieve the look I wanted, calling it "layering up" (meaning the direction, I took it?) and "texturizing".

All weekend I have literally been losing sleep. Since 3:30 on Saturday I have felt like I wanted to puke. Half of my thickness is GONE. And with this summer weather, on top of it all, the layers are winging out like a 1980's video whore. 

I had a major meltdown yesterday morning (they aren't open on Sundays) where I sobbed for probably two hours straight, resulting in a headache and nausea. I can't go back to sleep in the middle of the night if I wake up, I keep thinking about it. It's my WEDDING, for crying out loud! These people f*cked up my wedding!!!!!!!!

Now I am going to have the added expense of extensions to save my special day. If I weren't getting married this summer, I'd just have them fix it into a cute, shorter cut and just enjoy rocking it for the rest of the summer til it grows out. But I'm getting married, so I don't have that option! 

I've even considered, seriously, postponing the wedding, but my fiance doesn't want to. So whatever it takes and whatever it costs me (and the salon!), I'm getting this fixed. First, they (a different stylist, by all means) are going to tweak my layers so they're not square with wings a la 1984. And they are strictly forbidden to take off any more length. I want it SOFTER. Soft, rounded, and feminine! *Sob*. 

It needed a shape, because I had just spent 4 months growing out a bob (it's shoulder length). But now it is so goddam THIN (usually very thick!) that I don't even think they can do anything for me with a curling iron! I asked for a shape, NOT a freaking chop job! My shortest layers now are at the nape of my neck, when I expressly told them NOT to give me shorter layers in back. They even said it "would not be short layers". I would like to know what the hell their version of short layers are! 

Please, please, PLEASE help me communicate this to them without my bawling in the salon and threatening to sue them for the cost of my wedding plus pain and suffering! PLEASE Somebody, help me save my special day! ;( 
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Re: Bad haircut 4 weeks before wedding!!!! Help me!

  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    member
    First, you need to take a deep breath.  They are going to try and fix their muck up which they should and you will need temporary hair extensions, like clip ins, which shouldn't be as expensive as a full head of extensions.

    Personally, I would tell them not to touch my hair anymore and just let it grow out as much as possible over the next 4 weeks.  During this time you should get some of your thickness back and the layers should soften by themselves.  I would go in and have a discussion of what needs to be done to achieve the look you want for your wedding, ie clip in extensions, etc.

    When are you set to have a hair trial?  I would try to set up a trial about a week out so that you and your stylist can work out/play with different ideas to get the hair style you want.

    What kind of style are you wanting for your wedding?  Depending on what it is I would also pick another style or two that you also like just in case your first choice may not work.

    But you really need to calm down.  I understand being upset when a hair cut does not go as planned but to jump to seriously considering postponing your wedding because of this is a bit dramatic.

  • climbingwifeclimbingwife NYC 'burbs
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    member
    Ok, calm down. Postponing your wedding because of your hair is an extreme reaction. 

    How are you wearing your hair for your wedding? You can easily do clip-ins for that day and it will make your hair look a lot fuller. Do you have any pictures of what your hair looks like now?

  • Silverelf2015Silverelf2015
    10 Comments 5 Love Its
    member
    edited July 2015
    Thanks guys. Yes, the "postponing" thought was the night I cut my hair as I was lying awake worrying about how the heck I was going to work this out. 

    Thankfully my hair grows crazily fast. I want to wear it down on the wedding day as I'm not an updo girl. My second choice would be half-up. Clip-in extensions sound perfect, actually especially as real woven-in ones aren't really in the budget (although as I consider this an emergency, they'd somehow have to be). 

    I know I need to chill out, and I'm trying. It's just that horrid pressure of having one shot at this, one day in my entire lifetime that I have to look absolutely PERFECT as it will be immortalized forever on film. 


    image
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    member
    Thanks guys. Yes, the "postponing" thought was the night I cut my hair as I was lying awake worrying about how the heck I was going to work this out. 

    Thankfully my hair grows crazily fast. I want to wear it down on the wedding day as I'm not an updo girl. My second choice would be half-up. Clip-in extensions sound perfect, actually especially as real woven-in ones aren't really in the budget (although as I consider this an emergency, they'd somehow have to be). 

    I know I need to chill out, and I'm trying. It's just that horrid pressure of having one shot at this, one day in my entire lifetime that I have to look absolutely PERFECT as it will be immortalized forever on film. 


    The only person who can put that kind of pressure on you, is you.  Your hair may not look exactly like you had envisioned it, but I am sure it will still look beautiful and in turn you will look beautiful.  Don't let this one little hiccup ruin the next 4 weeks.  I am sure once you have a consult with your hairstylist to try and figure out the best path forward you will feel a lot more at ease with everything.

    InLoveInQueens
  • ShesSoColdShesSoCold bend over and I'll show ya
    Moderator 5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its
    mod
    I just posted this on a specifically hair-related forum too but I wanted to reach out here as well. 

    I am in desperate need of some caring, friendly advice. And please please, as I am in enough pain, not advice of the "you never should have cut it" variety!! 

    On Saturday, I went to a stylist who really butchered my hair. I had been there several times before, as they are friends of my family and my sister and mom still go there. They're top-notch professionals, probably the best in the area. In otherwords, not a cheap haircut... 

    I brought pictures. I communicated, even rather exhaustively. The pics showed several angles, as well as the style I want to have done for my wedding. Yes, that's the kicker... My wedding is only a month away. 

    They did not touch the length, thank God for small miracles(!). But the layers, omg... the layers are terrorized all the way to hell. The stylist explained to me what had to be done to achieve the look I wanted, calling it "layering up" (meaning the direction, I took it?) and "texturizing".

    All weekend I have literally been losing sleep. Since 3:30 on Saturday I have felt like I wanted to puke. Half of my thickness is GONE. And with this summer weather, on top of it all, the layers are winging out like a 1980's video whore. 

    I had a major meltdown yesterday morning (they aren't open on Sundays) where I sobbed for probably two hours straight, resulting in a headache and nausea. I can't go back to sleep in the middle of the night if I wake up, I keep thinking about it. It's my WEDDING, for crying out loud! These people f*cked up my wedding!!!!!!!!

    Now I am going to have the added expense of extensions to save my special day. If I weren't getting married this summer, I'd just have them fix it into a cute, shorter cut and just enjoy rocking it for the rest of the summer til it grows out. But I'm getting married, so I don't have that option! 

    I've even considered, seriously, postponing the wedding, but my fiance doesn't want to. So whatever it takes and whatever it costs me (and the salon!), I'm getting this fixed. First, they (a different stylist, by all means) are going to tweak my layers so they're not square with wings a la 1984. And they are strictly forbidden to take off any more length. I want it SOFTER. Soft, rounded, and feminine! *Sob*. 

    It needed a shape, because I had just spent 4 months growing out a bob (it's shoulder length). But now it is so goddam THIN (usually very thick!) that I don't even think they can do anything for me with a curling iron! I asked for a shape, NOT a freaking chop job! My shortest layers now are at the nape of my neck, when I expressly told them NOT to give me shorter layers in back. They even said it "would not be short layers". I would like to know what the hell their version of short layers are! 

    Please, please, PLEASE help me communicate this to them without my bawling in the salon and threatening to sue them for the cost of my wedding plus pain and suffering! PLEASE Somebody, help me save my special day! ;( 

    Thanks guys. Yes, the "postponing" thought was the night I cut my hair as I was lying awake worrying about how the heck I was going to work this out. 

    Thankfully my hair grows crazily fast. I want to wear it down on the wedding day as I'm not an updo girl. My second choice would be half-up. Clip-in extensions sound perfect, actually especially as real woven-in ones aren't really in the budget (although as I consider this an emergency, they'd somehow have to be). 

    I know I need to chill out, and I'm trying. It's just that horrid pressure of having one shot at this, one day in my entire lifetime that I have to look absolutely PERFECT as it will be immortalized forever on film. 


    You need to calm down. The lines I bolded are crazy over-reactions. It's hair. I know there's a lot of pressure to make your wedding day "ZOMG BEST DAY OF MY LYFE EVERRRR" but that's ridiculous. You don't need to look perfect. Personally, I didn't want to look perfect. I wanted to look like me. And I sure as hell am not perfect. Sure there will be pictures but they're not going to be published in People magazine or viewed every single day. Your wedding is one day of your life. The biggest, most important part should be the fact that you're getting married, not your hair. I know it's easy to panic and get caught up in this but remember and focus on what's really important to you. The people, the vows, things like that. 
    Image result for someecard betting someone half your shit youll love them forever
    [Deleted User]InLoveInQueens
  • Silverelf2015Silverelf2015
    10 Comments 5 Love Its
    member
    edited July 2015
    To the PP, you are exactly right. I have been freaking out over this. It's just that when you spend so many thousands of dollars and almost an entire year of your life preparing for this one day, and then somebody messes it up like this (and it's not just tablecloths, it's the bride's own LOOKS, for God's sake!) it's just extremely nervewracking! 

    I have an appointment for a consultation with a different stylist (the other one is never going to be allowed to go within 50 feet of my head again, ever) later today. It already gave me a lot of hope when I spoke with her over the phone. I think I'm in good hands (my sister, who has long hair, has also been seeing her for a few years, so I have a good reference!). I feel better just knowing that she listened to my concerns and totally understood what I meant about the layers being too blunt and how I wanted them softened a tiny tiny bit around the edges. I'm not having my whole hair cut again(!) it's too close to the date. And don't worry, I won't even let her touch anything if I'm not totally comfortable. But I think she can give me something to live with and that is workable on the day-of. We also talked about using a few clip-in extensions, which is something I was considering anyway. 

    This has been especially harrowing and I needed to vent. Thanks for listening to me! :))
    image
  • climbingwifeclimbingwife NYC 'burbs
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    member
    Stop putting pressure on yourself! You don't have to look "perfect" on your wedding day. Things are going to go wrong. I had a whole shit ton of things go wrong the day off, and I just let them slide off my back. The best and most important thing to me that day was marrying my H. The rest was just gravy, you know? 

    InLoveInQueens
  • Hi! I do hair and makeup for a living -- and I'm also getting married soon. I do a lot of bridal hair and makeup. Also, this is my second wedding. I say all this by way of putting forth some qualifications.

    First of all, it's not at all abnormal for a bride to take all of the impending wedding anxiety and focus it on one thing. For my first wedding, it was my dress. I suddenly hated my dress. All day and all night, I could not stop thinking about how much I hated my dress. Is it possible that your hair right now is standing in for all manner of other free-floating anxieties?

    Second of all, you likely do not need extensions to achieve a great style for your wedding -- though if you'd like them, clip-ins are easy and fast and not expensive. With good styling and products (dude, hair powders!), lush locks could be minutes away.

    So, third of all -- can you post some photos? Maybe some photos of what your hair looks like now and what you were hoping to look like on your wedding day?

    Much love!
    D
    [Deleted User]
  • Silverelf2015Silverelf2015
    10 Comments 5 Love Its
    member
    edited July 2015
    strangenurse, 

    Thank you for your insight. Stress? Yes. LOL! 

    But my sister's stylist completely listened and agreed with everything. She was kind of surprised how much it had been thinned all to hell :( But she fixed the choppy mullet look that was making me want to puke and hide under a rock for 6 months, thank God. She smoothed the layers and cut those little angles out of the ends (I don't know the technical term for this kind of ends but it always works!) which made the layers smooth down and have movement again, instead of sticking out all square and choppy. She totally gave me my life back!!!! Needless to say, I've found my new favorite stylist! It's shorter than I wanted for the wedding, but as I told her, "This, I can live with!" She brought me back into the 21st century! We do plan on putting in some clip-in extensions for the big day. I feel a whole lot better.   

    I'll post a few examples from online (I don't like to post my own pics on the internet) to show you where it is and where I'm heading. The first pics are where it is now after being fixed yesterday (but, it's even thinner, if you can imagine it, after the initial nightmare chop job - thin like pic # 1, but the length/shape is like pic #2), and the last two pics are what I had wanted to do with it for the wedding (depending on whether I decide to have her curl it or leave it straight. I'm leaning in the straight direction, though :)). I'm hoping the extensions will add length, and perhaps more importantly now, the fullness.  

    And editing to add, as this is important: My headpiece is a circlet, like the one shown in my signature gif. 
    image
  • It sounds like you had more texturizing at the ends than you ever wanted or needed. I'm sorry!

    If I were doing your wedding hair and you didn't want to deal with clip-ins, I'd do this:
    1. Prepare your hair with something like this -- it's a heat-protective lotion that also thickens the hair shaft.
    2. I'd use a lightweight (important so as not to weigh down hair) setting spray all over.
    3. I'd use a flat iron to do some bedroom/beachy waves.
    4. I'd use a hair powder to get separation at the roots. A little goes a long way.

    If you're into the wave look (I'll put some photos down below), flat-iron waves last longer than curling iron waves and don't look as fussy. Also, as you move about, dancing and socializing and getting hugged and whatnot, you don't have to worry about your hair remaining "neat" because your hair was a bit tousled to begin with. ;)

    This works well with extensions, too. And I loooove working with fake hair -- a lot.

    I'm so glad to hear that your outlook has changed in just a day! You're in the home stretch!

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  • Silverelf2015Silverelf2015
    10 Comments 5 Love Its
    member
    edited July 2015
    "More texturizing than I ever wanted or needed" is exactly what I got. :(  But thankfully she was a miracle worker, she truly did something with nothing! Now the shape is good and I can just let it grow. It just hurts that by Halloween (my hair grows fast), I'll have the perfect look, but not for my wedding! :(  But this is what the extensions are for - to restore me to the hair I should have had before Edward Scissorhands attacked me! :p 

    I do want to use the extensions, because, while I thank you for the suggestion of the tousled waves, the 'messy' look is really not me. Neither extreme is (I don't like a stiff stuffed shirt look either). I just like my hair soft and natural and with movement, whether it's shorter or longer, but smooth. 

    Still, this is one look I may adapt if I do decide to go in the wavy direction. It depends on what kind of extensions I go with as to which way I go. Any suggestions are appreciated! :)
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  • Silverelf2015Silverelf2015
    10 Comments 5 Love Its
    member
    edited July 2015
    My stylist said to buy extensions from Sally's and she will put them in. I'm thinking of these: 


    ..In the Dark Blonde Frost color (I'm light ash brown with dark blonde/silvery highlights and these look like a perfect match). 

    The reviews look good. Anyone have experience with them? 
    image
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