Wedding Party

Narrowing down the list? Plus MOH problem!

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Re: Narrowing down the list? Plus MOH problem!

  • It will be our secret.
    ShesSoCold
  • snowywintersnowywinter
    250 Love Its 100 Comments Name Dropper
    member
    edited July 2015
    OP, I would choose whoever you want to stand up next to you in the wedding. You have every right to have it "look" the way you want. Just remember that if you leave out close friends and loved ones due to having even side, you might regret it later when you see the photos and someone very special to you was left out.

    Any chance your fiance could include one more groomsman? That way the sides will still be even, but you'll get to have everyone you want. Might be a good compromise.

    Lastly, some posters here are very blunt and sometimes a few of them are unkind and mocking when they disagree with something. Don't judge everyone by the posts of a few as most actually are nice. I've gotten to know quite a few in PM and on the forums and while they, too, are blunt, they're helpful and provide good advice and guidance.
  • kmmssg said:

    @addiecake @maggie0829 - I have been trying to find the right words to tell you both how much your wedding pictures suck with uneven sides.  I guess since that is now out in the open I don't have to worry about that.  If you guys have redos with an open bar I will bring a really nice gift though. give money to your Honeyfund.


    BOXES, but FTFY
    AddieCakekmmssg
  • jacques27 said:
    We just prefer even sides-my cousin got married with 3 bridesmaids and 2 groomsmen and we did not like the look of it, we are both perfectionists in ways and that just bugs us both. Since we will be 8 hours from where our wedding will take place, and none of his groomsmen are around home (military) we would like at least one person in the wedding party to that is near home to help us out if needed-the reason for MOH in our case. 
    It seems to me that TRUE perfectionists would have taken the care and time to cultivate the proper number of relationships so as to avoid the atrocities of uneven sides.  I mean, after all, one would not want to needlessly have to care about or honor people unless absolutely necessary.  I make sure to rank and file all of the people in my life so that when a precise number of people need to be called upon for honoring, there's none of this dilly-dallying with people having feelings - they know the pecking order ahead of time and understand that people can only be loved and honored in even pairs.
    Let's just hope no one gets knocked up!
  • adk19adk19
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    member
    jacques27 said:
    We just prefer even sides-my cousin got married with 3 bridesmaids and 2 groomsmen and we did not like the look of it, we are both perfectionists in ways and that just bugs us both. Since we will be 8 hours from where our wedding will take place, and none of his groomsmen are around home (military) we would like at least one person in the wedding party to that is near home to help us out if needed-the reason for MOH in our case. 
    It seems to me that TRUE perfectionists would have taken the care and time to cultivate the proper number of relationships so as to avoid the atrocities of uneven sides.  I mean, after all, one would not want to needlessly have to care about or honor people unless absolutely necessary.  I make sure to rank and file all of the people in my life so that when a precise number of people need to be called upon for honoring, there's none of this dilly-dallying with people having feelings - they know the pecking order ahead of time and understand that people can only be loved and honored in even pairs.
    Let's just hope no one gets knocked up!
    I kinda hope they all get knocked up.
    TrixieJess
  • ok I get it you guys-I'm a horrible person. Thank you for my first post on the Knot. :) 
  • He does not have very many friends-he has always kept to himself and I am a social butterfly to say haha, he didn't want to have a wedding party to begin with.. 

    Thank you @snowywinter for being one of the few people here to be kind with their words. This post has made me realize how blunt and rude some people are on here, and how they cannot drop something. I was just looking to see if someone had ever been in the same situation-I was not looking to be attached by 30+ posts on my first forum. 
    snowywinter
  • He does not have very many friends-he has always kept to himself and I am a social butterfly to say haha, he didn't want to have a wedding party to begin with.. 


    Thank you @snowywinter for being one of the few people here to be kind with their words. This post has made me realize how blunt and rude some people are on here, and how they cannot drop something. I was just looking to see if someone had ever been in the same situation-I was not looking to be attached by 30+ posts on my first forum. 
    No one called you a horrible person. You obviously did not lurk before posting. If you had, you woud have seen that posts like yours come up on a weekly basis and we tell people the same things over and over again. Maybe you should read through the comments again, you did get some very good advice.

    Honestly, if you are this sensitive, maybe interneting is not for you.
    adk19thespeshulestsnowflakePrettyGirlLost
  • thisismynickname2thisismynickname2 City By The Lake
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    member
    Hey OP, several posts here were not about you. People are just having fun joking around about all the other etiquette atrocities we see frequently. (Thank you for providing my morning laughter for the day!)  Sometimes threads go off on tangents too.

    For what it's worth, seriously, just ask your nearest and dearest. You can get a lot of fun photos with uneven sides because you can mix things up, create interesting shapes, and use the environment in fun ways. Google some images or look around on Pinterest. You can PM me if you want to see my photos of my uneven party. Your perfectionism will be utilized in other cool ways. Don't sweat it!  
    ________________________________


    ShesSoColdTrixieJesskimmiinthemitten
  • adk19adk19
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    member
    While I certainly dont want anyone to feel attacked on this forum, I think it is worth noting that a few strangers criticising your plan made you feel badly. Now imagine how badly your best friends are going to feel because you picked having even sides over including them. It is going to feel a lot worse. You want strangers to treat you kindly, when you wont do the same for your friends. I think you should reevaluate how important even sides are to you.
    Quoting because liking this once wasn't enough.
  • OliveOilsMomOliveOilsMom South Jersey
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    member
    He does not have very many friends-he has always kept to himself and I am a social butterfly to say haha, he didn't want to have a wedding party to begin with.. 

    Thank you @snowywinter for being one of the few people here to be kind with their words. This post has made me realize how blunt and rude some people are on here, and how they cannot drop something. I was just looking to see if someone had ever been in the same situation-I was not looking to be attached by 30+ posts on my first forum. 
    My H is like your FI.  He mostly keeps to himself and has a few close friends.  I on the other hand would be the social butterfly.  For our WP, he had 3 GM and I had 5 BMs.  I wasn't going to let his less-social lifestyle potentially harm my friendships because I needed to have even sides.  My H even asked me if he should ask more guys to have even sides.  I said absolutely not!  You picked the people you are closest to and I don't care if sides are uneven. 
  • LD1970LD1970
    Seventh Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    member
    You know this whole thing would resolve itself if you weren't stuck on the silly notion of even sides, right?

    And you and your FI don't need help planning a party. My H and I did our wedding by ourselves and throw 70-person parties 4x/year. Which we cater.
    You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough. ~Mae West
    PrettyGirlLost
  • OP you weren't being attacked. I was serious in my post, things happen last minute that could make your sides uneven so it's not worth it to stress about them being even to begin with. 

    We originally had even sides, honestly it just worked out that way but then we just found out a groomsman is dropping out. He got offered a job overseas and is leaving for it right before the wedding. Since international travel is very expensive he won't be able to make it back. It happens.

    So just ask who you're closest to and who you really want to have stand next to you and don't worry about the numbers. I promise you, no one else will.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • mrscomposermrscomposer Mani-snow-ba
    500 Love Its 500 Comments First Anniversary First Answer
    member
    Hey OP, several posts here were not about you. People are just having fun joking around about all the other etiquette atrocities we see frequently. (Thank you for providing my morning laughter for the day!)  Sometimes threads go off on tangents too.

    For what it's worth, seriously, just ask your nearest and dearest. You can get a lot of fun photos with uneven sides because you can mix things up, create interesting shapes, and use the environment in fun ways. Google some images or look around on Pinterest. You can PM me if you want to see my photos of my uneven party. Your perfectionism will be utilized in other cool ways. Don't sweat it!  

    This.  Symmetry is not as aesthetically pleasing as... shit.  Not symmetry?  My brain isn't braining today.  Unsymmetry?  ASYMMETRY!  Symmetry is not as aesthetically pleasing as asymmetry.  Lord thunderin'. 
    **The OMH formerly known as jsangel1018**
    TrixieJessadk19PrettyGirlLostMaggie0829
  • While I certainly dont want anyone to feel attacked on this forum, I think it is worth noting that a few strangers criticising your plan made you feel badly. Now imagine how badly your best friends are going to feel because you picked having even sides over including them. It is going to feel a lot worse. You want strangers to treat you kindly, when you wont do the same for your friends. I think you should reevaluate how important even sides are to you.

    While reading through the comments this is exactly what I was thinking.

    OP I have uneven sides, honestly I've had a few people ask about it, but I just tell them I don't care if they're uneven.

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
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