When to take pictures?

YaYaNikoFI · August 2015

I've been reading on how gaps are considered an etiquette no-no and how it's "poor planning" on "selfish couples" so my question is, when is the best time to take pictures? What is an acceptable wait time for guests?
I don't want to break any etiquette rules here. You all are great with issues like this! Thanks!

Viczaesar · August 2015

YaYaNikoFI said:

I've been reading on how gaps are considered an etiquette no-no and how it's "poor planning" on "selfish couples" so my question is, when is the best time to take pictures? What is an acceptable wait time for guests? I don't want to break any etiquette rules here. You all are great with issues like this! Thanks!

That's what cocktail hour is for. You host refreshments and snacks for an hour while you do photographs. Alternatively or in addition you can do a first look photo shoot before the ceremony. They can be a really lovely and intimate time with your FI.

WinstonsGirl · August 2015

We didn't do a first look, so here was our "schedule":

1-3 - Getting ready photos

3 - 3:30 - WP photos (me and MOH, DH and his BM did theirs somewhere else around the same time)

3:30 - 4 - Headed to ceremony (2 blocks away)

4 - 4:30 - Ceremony

4:30 - 5:30 - Group photo (DW), family photos, entire WP photos, me and DH photos, in that order so everyone else could go back and enjoy cocktail hour

5:30 -6-ish - We were back for a drink and to start dinner by 6.

We did a group photo, which took about 15min, and were back for about 15 min (to tie up my damn bustle which is what took all the time) before dinner started, so our photos really only took about 45min total. Our photographers were super organized and basically went through a list of family photos which made it go super fast.

If you do first look, you can get it all done before the wedding too

lyndausvi · August 2015

We had a first look so we banged out a lot of shots then. Also most of our family and WP shots. Then during the cocktail hour we finished up.

For the weddings I was in without a first look they did as many shots as they could before the weddings. I.E. bride with her BMs and her family shots. Groom with his GMs and his family. Then during the cocktail hour joint WP, joint family, each family with the couple, then the couple themselves.

YaYaNikoFI · August 2015

Thank you two for recommendations. FI is animate that we don't do a first look though. Trying to find a happy medium between guest etiquette and the pictures that we want. Seems like the only way to have wedding day pics is before the actual wedding...Is that normal?

YaYaNikoFI · August 2015

lyndausvi said:
We had a first look so we banged out a lot of shots then. Also most of our family and WP shots. Then during the cocktail hour we finished up.

For the weddings I was in without a first look they did as many shots as they could before the weddings. I.E. bride with her BMs and her family shots. Groom with his GMs and his family. Then during the cocktail hour joint WP, joint family, each family with the couple, then the couple themselves.

That is definitely a possibility! Doing them separate then together. Thank you!

lyndausvi · August 2015

YaYaNikoFI said:

Thank you two for recommendations. FI is animate that we don't do a first look though. Trying to find a happy medium between guest etiquette and the pictures that we want. Seems like the only way to have wedding day pics is before the actual wedding...Is that normal?

very much so. 2 of my siblings got married 20 years ago. We did shots of my sibling(s) alone, their WP, parents, siblings together, family shot, etc. My SIL/BIL did the same at their house. Then after the weddings the joints shots of WP, family and the couple. All the shots were done in under an hour.

YaYaNikoFI · August 2015

lyndausvi said:

YaYaNikoFI said:

Thank you two for recommendations. FI is animate that we don't do a first look though. Trying to find a happy medium between guest etiquette and the pictures that we want. Seems like the only way to have wedding day pics is before the actual wedding...Is that normal?

very much so. 2 of my siblings got married 20 years ago. We did shots of my sibling(s) alone, their WP, parents, siblings together, family shot, etc. My SIL/BIL did the same at their house. Then after the weddings the joints shots of WP, family and the couple. All the shots were done in under an hour.

Is an hour an acceptable time? We won't have a cocktail party, mainly because the theme is a little more lax and the venue doesn't offer anything special but the reception. The problem I'm stressing about is the chapel and the reception are roughly 30 min away from each other which is standard since it's very rural around here. I'd hate for folks (mainly 1/2 are OOT guests from my side) to complain it took 1 1/2 hours for the reception to start.

ohmrs2014 · August 2015

We had a first look and the photographer still photos during cocktail hour, which annoyed DH and I because that was the purpose of the first look.

artbyallie · August 2015

YaYaNikoFI said:

YaYaNikoFI said:

Thank you two for recommendations. FI is animate that we don't do a first look though. Trying to find a happy medium between guest etiquette and the pictures that we want. Seems like the only way to have wedding day pics is before the actual wedding...Is that normal?

very much so. 2 of my siblings got married 20 years ago. We did shots of my sibling(s) alone, their WP, parents, siblings together, family shot, etc. My SIL/BIL did the same at their house. Then after the weddings the joints shots of WP, family and the couple. All the shots were done in under an hour.
Is an hour an acceptable time? We won't have a cocktail party, mainly because the theme is a little more lax and the venue doesn't offer anything special but the reception. The problem I'm stressing about is the chapel and the reception are roughly 30 min away from each other which is standard since it's very rural around here. I'd hate for folks (mainly 1/2 are OOT guests from my side) to complain it took 1 1/2 hours for the reception to start.

Cocktail hour does not require cocktails. It just means food and drink of some sort are available at the venue as soon as the guests arrive after the ceremony.

Viczaesar · August 2015

YaYaNikoFI said:

YaYaNikoFI said:

Thank you two for recommendations. FI is animate that we don't do a first look though. Trying to find a happy medium between guest etiquette and the pictures that we want. Seems like the only way to have wedding day pics is before the actual wedding...Is that normal?

very much so. 2 of my siblings got married 20 years ago. We did shots of my sibling(s) alone, their WP, parents, siblings together, family shot, etc. My SIL/BIL did the same at their house. Then after the weddings the joints shots of WP, family and the couple. All the shots were done in under an hour.
Is an hour an acceptable time? We won't have a cocktail party, mainly because the theme is a little more lax and the venue doesn't offer anything special but the reception. The problem I'm stressing about is the chapel and the reception are roughly 30 min away from each other which is standard since it's very rural around here. I'd hate for folks (mainly 1/2 are OOT guests from my side) to complain it took 1 1/2 hours for the reception to start.

Yeah, that's not acceptable. If you're going to take an hour to do photos you need to host something for your guests during that time.

YaYaNikoFI · August 2015

Viczaesar said:

YaYaNikoFI said:

lyndausvi said:

YaYaNikoFI said:

Thank you two for recommendations. FI is animate that we don't do a first look though. Trying to find a happy medium between guest etiquette and the pictures that we want. Seems like the only way to have wedding day pics is before the actual wedding...Is that normal?

very much so. 2 of my siblings got married 20 years ago. We did shots of my sibling(s) alone, their WP, parents, siblings together, family shot, etc. My SIL/BIL did the same at their house. Then after the weddings the joints shots of WP, family and the couple. All the shots were done in under an hour.
Is an hour an acceptable time? We won't have a cocktail party, mainly because the theme is a little more lax and the venue doesn't offer anything special but the reception. The problem I'm stressing about is the chapel and the reception are roughly 30 min away from each other which is standard since it's very rural around here. I'd hate for folks (mainly 1/2 are OOT guests from my side) to complain it took 1 1/2 hours for the reception to start.

Yeah, that's not acceptable. If you're going to take an hour to do photos you need to host something for your guests during that time.

Boxes----
Well then... I'm trying to do the most appropriate thing and have my guests have a good time without opening their wallet. Like I said, the venue doesn't offer more than a simple reception. So what is an appropriate time frame between the ceremony and reception? I was looking for the most acceptable according to this forum. I was just saying that I was wondering how long was considered acceptable to guests. Thank y'all

redoryx · August 2015

YaYaNikoFI said:

YaYaNikoFI said:

YaYaNikoFI said:

Thank you two for recommendations. FI is animate that we don't do a first look though. Trying to find a happy medium between guest etiquette and the pictures that we want. Seems like the only way to have wedding day pics is before the actual wedding...Is that normal?

very much so. 2 of my siblings got married 20 years ago. We did shots of my sibling(s) alone, their WP, parents, siblings together, family shot, etc. My SIL/BIL did the same at their house. Then after the weddings the joints shots of WP, family and the couple. All the shots were done in under an hour.
Is an hour an acceptable time? We won't have a cocktail party, mainly because the theme is a little more lax and the venue doesn't offer anything special but the reception. The problem I'm stressing about is the chapel and the reception are roughly 30 min away from each other which is standard since it's very rural around here. I'd hate for folks (mainly 1/2 are OOT guests from my side) to complain it took 1 1/2 hours for the reception to start.

Yeah, that's not acceptable. If you're going to take an hour to do photos you need to host something for your guests during that time.
Boxes---- Well then... I'm trying to do the most appropriate thing and have my guests have a good time without opening their wallet. Like I said, the venue doesn't offer more than a simple reception. So what is an appropriate time frame between the ceremony and reception? I was looking for the most acceptable according to this forum. I was just saying that I was wondering how long was considered acceptable to guests. Thank y'all

If you don't have anything planned that will host your guests between the ceremony and the reception, then the only appropriate time frame that would be acceptable is the 30 minutes it would take your guests to drive from one to the other. If you want a longer time in between then you need to plan something.

Viczaesar · August 2015

YaYaNikoFI said:

YaYaNikoFI said:

YaYaNikoFI said:

Thank you two for recommendations. FI is animate that we don't do a first look though. Trying to find a happy medium between guest etiquette and the pictures that we want. Seems like the only way to have wedding day pics is before the actual wedding...Is that normal?

very much so. 2 of my siblings got married 20 years ago. We did shots of my sibling(s) alone, their WP, parents, siblings together, family shot, etc. My SIL/BIL did the same at their house. Then after the weddings the joints shots of WP, family and the couple. All the shots were done in under an hour.
Is an hour an acceptable time? We won't have a cocktail party, mainly because the theme is a little more lax and the venue doesn't offer anything special but the reception. The problem I'm stressing about is the chapel and the reception are roughly 30 min away from each other which is standard since it's very rural around here. I'd hate for folks (mainly 1/2 are OOT guests from my side) to complain it took 1 1/2 hours for the reception to start.

Yeah, that's not acceptable. If you're going to take an hour to do photos you need to host something for your guests during that time.
Boxes---- Well then... I'm trying to do the most appropriate thing and have my guests have a good time without opening their wallet. Like I said, the venue doesn't offer more than a simple reception. So what is an appropriate time frame between the ceremony and reception? I was looking for the most acceptable according to this forum. I was just saying that I was wondering how long was considered acceptable to guests. Thank y'all

The appropriate time frame between the ceremony and reception is however long it takes to drive from the ceremony to the reception, and no longer. Once they arrive at the reception location they need to be hosted. So if you can't have a separate cocktail hour, where your venue just puts out appetizers and opens the bar/beverage station, just start the actual reception immediately. Are you not doing appetizers at your reception? Are you going immediately into dinner when the reception starts? What is your timeline for the actual reception? If you can't figure out how to host something between the ceremony and reception then you can't do pictures then. As I said in my first post, that's the entire purpose of a cocktail hour (which doesn't need to have cocktails; it's just called that. All you need is food and drink of some sort). If you can't swing a cocktail hour then you can't do pictures for an hour after the ceremony and you'll have to do a first look.

It's not about what's acceptable according to the forum. It's about what is proper etiquette, i.e. polite. It is rude and wrong to expect people to wait around for you to take pictures without being hosted in some way, period.

kkitkat79 · August 2015

Suppose your ceremony ends at 5pm. That means that at 5:30pm your reception venue should be open and there should be some food and drinks available for your guests. It can be light snacks and soft drinks. This way your guests will have something to nibble on while they are waiting for you. Starting at 5pm you can take pictures making sure to arrive at the reception venue by 6:30pm.

jacques27 · August 2015

Your guests must be fully hosted at all times. There is no acceptable amount of time to make them wait.

If you're not going to have a cocktail hour (food and drink, not necessarily alcoholic) where your guests have a place to sit, have some refreshment, and can mingle (with or without you), then your reception must start immediately (plus travel time) after your ceremony. You may need to sacrifice some things in order to make sure you are hosting them properly - such as finding another venue that can do a cocktail hour and accommodate your guests by allowing you to host them appropriately without a gap or conceding that a first look may be necessary even if you don't want to and get ALL your photos done beforehand.

YaYaNikoFI · August 2015

Thank you all so very much! Seems like the social hour is definitely a must. At least something. I love the honesty, not exactly condescending tones, but actual advice on here! Looks like more plans need to happen on our part in order to get the picture we want. FI has an idea in his mind of how he'd like it to go, and I've been explaining I don't want to piss off guests haha. Y'all are great and really opened our eyes to this! Mainly other ways of telling FI we have to do the social hour

and explaining its the right thing to do. Lastly, he's on board for the pictures with family seperate before hand and then 15-20 min all together after the ceremony. Thanks you!

[Deleted User] · August 2015

OP think about it this way. Do you invite people to your house for a meal, leave for an hour and give them nothing to eat or drink while they wait for you to come back? No. (Or at least I hope not.)

So why would this be any different? A reception is just a big party / meal / dinner.

YaYaNikoFI · August 2015

FeeleyToBe said:
OP think about it this way. Do you invite people to your house for a meal, leave for an hour and give them nothing to eat or drink while they wait for you to come back? No. (Or at least I hope not.)

So why would this be any different? A reception is just a big party / meal / dinner.

Very true. Good way of putting it!

SP29 · August 2015

As previous posters have said, there is no acceptable time to make your guests wait for you, un-hosted. Cocktail hour allows you time to take those photos. You should only need an hour, hour and a half tops (ours was technically 2 hours between ceremony and dinner, but that also included our receiving line out of the ceremony and a group photo.... but we found that long, I would not recommend. I can't remember why we decided that was a good amount of time).

I would ask your venue about a social hour. Seems odd they aren't interested in making a bit more money

.

If they won't do anything, see if they will at least open the venue with everything set up (tables and chairs) an hour earlier and let you bring in your own food.

Cocktail hour doesn't need to be fancy. It could be water, soda, coffe and tea to drink. Fruit and veggies with crackers and cheese to snack on. Lots of grocery stores make platters and trays that can be bought the day before to serve.

Another option, is there a room at the chapel (such as in the basement) that you could use? No reason social hour can't be there and then guests travel to the reception in time for dinner.

[Deleted User] · August 2015

SP29 said:

As previous posters have said, there is no acceptable time to make your guests wait for you, un-hosted. Cocktail hour allows you time to take those photos. You should only need an hour, hour and a half tops (ours was technically 2 hours between ceremony and dinner, but that also included our receiving line out of the ceremony and a group photo.... but we found that long, I would not recommend. I can't remember why we decided that was a good amount of time).

I would ask your venue about a social hour. Seems odd they aren't interested in making a bit more money .

If they won't do anything, see if they will at least open the venue with everything set up (tables and chairs) an hour earlier and let you bring in your own food.

Cocktail hour doesn't need to be fancy. It could be water, soda, coffe and tea to drink. Fruit and veggies with crackers and cheese to snack on. Lots of grocery stores make platters and trays that can be bought the day before to serve.

Another option, is there a room at the chapel (such as in the basement) that you could use? No reason social hour can't be there and then guests travel to the reception in time for dinner.

This. My cocktail hour is beer/wine/mimosas and non alcoholic beverages, along with a fruit and cheese platter and mini pastries (we're doing a brunch reception). That's it. Then it's on the brunch buffet.

When to take pictures?

Re: When to take pictures?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards