Pre-wedding Parties

Non-shower wording

We are not registering for gifts and I have asked those closest to me NOT to plan a shower of any kind.

However, my mother said that family members are starting to ask about showers and seem upset that there won't be one. She suggested that she and my sister could host a luncheon in the local tea room for the ladies in the families. This would be a no gift event.

I love the idea of spending an afternoon with them, but we are just concerned with how to word the invitation. We want to make it clear that this lunch is NOT a shower, but my mom still wants to include the traditional wording that the lunch is "in honor of kdg" so that the more traditional ladies will see this as being in place of the shower.

I know we cannot dictate "no gifts" but I just don't want this to be an awkward situation for my guests if they show up expecting shower games and a gift opening.


Re: Non-shower wording

  • You are on the right track: call it a bridal luncheon. If you don't call it a shower, it's not a shower. People perhaps might still bring gifts, but that's on them, not you. 
  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot Atlanta member
    Eighth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    Ditto PP. Call it a luncheon and avoid any mention of shower or gifts.

    If people are thinking it is a shower type event, they'll ask the host about a registry when they RSVP. That's when the host could respond that there is no registry and that gifts aren't necessary. 
  • Do not call it a shower on the invite and perhaps spread it word of mouth about it being a no gift event.

    My shower invite just came in the mail a week ago, seven ladies my FMIL knows are hosting it. However, the invite says "Bridal Lunch" but it is a shower and they have listed where I am registered on the invite as well.

    So I think these days some people use the terms "bridal tea, shower, lunch" interchangeably no matter if that is correct or not. I would say expect some gifts but if people ask be prepared to tell them no gifts. 
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