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I think words work better than telepathy

mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its First Comment
in Wedding Woes

Dear Prudence,
I have a 32-year-old son who lives by himself and has no current girlfriend. He’s often at my place for meals and he is good company. However, he never helps with the dishes, never cooks or prepares any food. He does, however, help me around the house in many ways, such as fixing my computer, doing small electrical jobs, helping in the garden, etc. I would like him to help me cook and do dishes sometimes, and I think being able to make a meal is a skill everyone should have. Am I wrong in wanting him to do more kitchen things even if he is doing a fair bit of work around the house?

—Apron Strings

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Re: I think words work better than telepathy

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    tawillerstawillers member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    Ouch.  Should you assume he doesn't know how to prepare a meal?

    Maybe he should offer to help with the dishes, but you DO admit he does a fair amount of work at your house.  Would you like him to do the dishes instead of all those other jobs he does to help you?

    I'm guessing the son does these chores because he thinks he's helping out.  I don't get a big sense of appreciation for them.  And the girlfriend comment is just irrelevant.

    (I don't know why I'm taking this so personally.  I couldn't imagine not being happy to feed my child in appreciation for things he does around my house, when he's got a place of his own to take care of.)
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    NOLABridesmaidNOLABridesmaid member
    First Answer 5 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper

    Yeah, this depends on the Mom. Some would love to cook for their kid and some wouldn't.

    She doesn't like it, so stop feeding him.

    image
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    GBCKGBCK member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    "Hey Sonnyboy, you're awesome around the house--but I've noticed you don't do stuff in the kitchen.
    It's not a problem, you help around here tons, but I know that being able to find your way around a kitchen can be kinda important.
    Do you want "how to make something awesome to impress people" lessons?"

    (And I'm assuming he KNOWS how to do dishes--because that's not rocket surgery [Put in soapy water.  Scrub off gunk.  Rinse off soap.  dry in some fashion].  I'm assuming he just doesn't.  Which seems kinda reasonable)
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    loveislouderloveislouder member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    My brother made a good point the other day - when he comes over and helps with my computer or may car, he does those things because he knows I'm not good at them. When I make him a snack, he knows I do that because I'm good at it and he's not.

    It's probably that he thinks hes fixing the computer and the electrical instead of the dishes because Mom can do the dishes, but she can't fix the computer. 
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    VarunaTTVarunaTT member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    Eh, my mother cooks dinner for us once a week b/c she wants the company and it gives us a break from, well...cooking every day.  We also do lots of little things for them like errands they're getting to old to do, lifts to appointments, etc.  If she doesn't want to do it anymore, don't but she's assuming a whole lot of information here that she doesn't know.
    �
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